[INFJ] Loyalty

54321

54321

Regular Poster
MBTI
INFJ
How much loyalty do you usually have with friends, family etc. And how would you feel if somebody broke your trust or was using that loyalty in the wrong way. If someone portrayed you, how would you react to that.

Me myself am truly loyal, and when somebody misuses me, it gets pretty extreme.

I wonder how other INFJ's react to those situations.
 
54321 said:
How much loyalty do you usually have with friends, family etc.
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I would do everything in my power to help them get ahead.
And how would you feel if somebody broke your trust or was using that loyalty in the wrong way. If someone portrayed you, how would you react to that.
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"Sorry to destroy you."
 
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Loyalty is a strong core value for me. It's not coming from principals, but respect, fairness, care and love. Because it's not a principal, I in a sense choose when/where/what/who I should be loyal to/about.

This sometimes pisses (principal) people off, because maybe I didn't see that something as that important (assuming that the other part would be fine with it, because I would).

I get can get pissed in the opposite scenario as well. Principals are rigid and unforgiving, and I don't play very well with it.

I'm very glad people seem to be 50/50 on this, and we need them equally, I think :)

Edit: If someone broke my trust, I'd just slowly close the door. Forever.
 
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I used to be a loyalty extremist of sorts, but there are too many weird circumstances in life where it makes the most sense to break loyalty.
It's a nice thing to have, but I don't hold on as tightly to it as I once did. If I feel it in a general sense, fairly strongly and consistently, that's sufficient.

Knowingly and willingly breaking trust is different though. I don't tolerate that, generally.
 
Wyote said:
I used to be a loyalty extremist of sorts, but there are too many weird circumstances in life where it makes the most sense to break loyalty.
It's a nice thing to have, but I don't hold on as tightly to it as I once did. If I feel it in a general sense, fairly strongly and consistently, that's sufficient.

Knowingly and willingly breaking trust is different though. I don't tolerate that, generally.
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Interesting, would you say you are more balanced now, in those types of aspects and situations, considering loyalty?
 
I'm very loyal to my family and friends (if some lucky day get any friends lol, of course with trying). If someone breaks my trust, it's usually bye bye. Of course it totally depends on what has happened, is it something less or more serious? Trust is hard to get back and usually not possible to get it fully back.
 
I double the "loyal to family, [selected-family] and [those few really close] friends". <3
Although I've big trust issues and I let many things slide when I care deeply for someone (forgiving but not ever forgetting).

I've completely cut out people in my life, too. Plus there is a friend that I've somewhat let back in but as said by @flower before: trust might be lost.
I find this especially difficult when "loyality" is executed in different or even opposing ways.

Not so sure about being loyal to myself though.
Loyal to my values yes, always being myself not so sure (depends on who I'm with). loyal to my boundaries ..working on that. (#whenyourbodydoorslamsyou #gainbacktrustinyourself)
 
Wyote said:
I used to be a loyalty extremist of sorts, but there are too many weird circumstances in life where it makes the most sense to break loyalty.
It's a nice thing to have, but I don't hold on as tightly to it as I once did. If I feel it in a general sense, fairly strongly and consistently, that's sufficient.

Knowingly and willingly breaking trust is different though. I don't tolerate that, generally.
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I'm pretty much the same.
 
54321 said:
How much loyalty do you usually have with friends, family etc. And how would you feel if somebody broke your trust or was using that loyalty in the wrong way. If someone portrayed you, how would you react to that.

Me myself am truly loyal, and when somebody misuses me, it gets pretty extreme.

I wonder how other INFJ's react to those situations.
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I am very loyal. Nothing matters to me most in the world than loved ones and close friends, especially when I am in a relationship with someone I deeply love. I believe loyalty is one of the valuable traits I have about myself that I am quite proud of.

If my trust was broken, I would be of course extremely upset, and wouldn’t be able to trust the person ever again.

I don’t give out my trust lightly to people. I believe in the motto, “Trust is earned. Not given.” So far that motto has served me well.
 
Regarding family members:
I would do anything for my loved ones... but I've learned over the years that someone sharing DNA with me doesn't necessarily warrant unwavering loyalty no matter what.. I've had close family members do some pretty fucked up things to me, without caring how it made me feel. But... I'm a very forgiving and understanding person. We're human and we fuck up from time to time.
 
neko said:
I've learned over the years that someone sharing DNA with me doesn't necessarily warrant unwavering loyalty no matter what.. I've had close family members do some pretty fucked up things to me, without caring how it made me feel.
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So damn true!!! Can relate to this unfortunately. :(

Also agree with the forgiveness and human part, everyone does make mistakes.

At the end of the day though, forgiveness is a great virtue to have. Not only you are the stronger and better person, but you are set from any lingering grudges that won’t hold you back from living your best life. You are free.
 
JennyDaniella said:
So damn true!!! Can relate to this unfortunately. :(

Also agree with the forgiveness and human part, everyone does make mistakes.

At the end of the day though, forgiveness is a great virtue to have. Not only you are the stronger and better person, but you are set from any lingering grudges that won’t hold you back from living your best life. You are free.
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True! it can be so hard to forgive and let go of bitterness, but once you're able to, life is much happier.
 
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