Judging people

Jana

Jana

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MBTI
infj
How opinions of others about someone influence yours?
I would like to tell that I always make my own decisions if it is about someone who I react more. And I really od try that. In my opinion anyone deservs MY chance. No matter others. But I have to admit that others can make me doubt. Maybe it is our dear Fe in action. I mean - finding someone worth socializing is not as if I can't see that person's less nice sides. However, noone is perfect.
One more question: How do you keep your attitude?
 
Jana said:
How opinions of others about someone influence yours?
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Let's say that I overhear 3 people who all have a bad opinion about mr x. If I have never met mr x then my opinion of him might be a little biased because of what I have heard about him from other people .... but ultimately I don't let other people shape my opinion of others.
Everybody has their own perspective(s).
 
My Fe totally sucks. I generally allow myself to form my own opinions of someone. I really wouldn't be easily influenced by hearing other's opinions in forming my own.


However, if my "Ni Alarm" goes off around someone, regardless if my interactions are basically positve with that person, I will usually never fully trust them. I listen very closely to my Ni even when it seems to come out of nowhere about someone or something.
 
Well, I usually form an opinion about somebody within 5 minutes (more like 30 seconds, but I use the extra time to make sure). I'm open to reevaluation though if they start to act a bit differently or I find something else out that alters my perception of them.
 
I generally go with the idea that people, and their motivations, are too complex for me to figure out fully. In fact, my real information is so scant and skewed that I just defer judgement altogether. Yes, I do notice things and I do take notes, but I pretty much leave these suspended. This applies to input from others as well.
 
Yeah, I sometimes let people's opinion of someone influence how I see them but usually easier to be influenced if I don't know the person well enough. But if I know someone well, personally, then it's harder for me to be influenced by what someone else says or thinks about them.

It's funny because I can think of one situation in which someone said something about a coworker, and mentioned they can be difficult but I've never had that experience with them. I can get pretty well with them. Maybe it's because what bothers other people about them doesn't bother or affect me that much.
 
NDN NT said:
My Fe totally sucks. I generally allow myself to form my own opinions of someone. I really wouldn't be easily influenced by hearing other's opinions in forming my own.


However, if my "Ni Alarm" goes off around someone, regardless if my interactions are basically positve with that person, I will usually never fully trust them. I listen very closely to my Ni even when it seems to come out of nowhere about someone or something.
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For Fe - I would like to be more like you. Not that I change my opinion, but I loose energy when I find myself between to sides.

For Ni - completely same.
 
Rite said:
It's funny because I can think of one situation in which someone said something about a coworker, and mentioned they can be difficult but I've never had that experience with them. I can get pretty well with them. Maybe it's because what bothers other people about them doesn't bother or affect me that much.
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Exactly, lot of things are only matter of view...
 
I am just like Bickelz, I immediately form an opinion based off everything I know about a person in the first 30 seconds. Sometimes things can occur which will change that opinion. So yeah I can be judgemental, but I very much just go with my feelings/vibes I get from being around a person. Even if we just met. Usually I'm freakishly right about people.
 
If I'm affected by other peoples opinions of others it is not consciously. I tend to make up my own mind. In the past, I've been friends with people who could be considered outcasts from our particular set. I really don't care. If I enjoy your conversation or you make me laugh and I don't think you'll hurt me then what others think doesn't even cross my mind.
 
Regarding Fe, I usually apply Ti + Ni to see. If someone's saying bad things about someone else, is it due to the person related, or is it the speaker? Or is it just circumstances leading to a...not mistaken, but biased judgement regarding the person being talked about?

But as for Ni, totally apply. Ni alarm = OMG WTF IS THIS.
 
Regarding judging...have you ever met people who have "undefined" areas? Ofcourse, we all have them, especially to others. But people who looks more like puzzle...I know someone. She is actually ok, but my Ni does not say "o, that's bad person", it says "it is good person, but you've missed something in that puzzle..". very strange feeling. I hate that. It happened to me few times, that udefined thing and my "I am INFJ who knows much about people:)" vanity is hurt evertime...:D
 
Jana said:
Regarding judging...have you ever met people who have "undefined" areas? Ofcourse, we all have them, especially to others. But people who looks more like puzzle...I know someone. She is actually ok, but my Ni does not say "o, that's bad person", it says "it is good person, but you've missed something in that puzzle..". very strange feeling. I hate that. It happened to me few times, that udefined thing and my "I am INFJ who knows much about people:)" vanity is hurt evertime...:D
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Yes. It can intrigue me to no end...especially if personal stake were involved.
 
Jana said:
Regarding judging...have you ever met people who have "undefined" areas? Ofcourse, we all have them, especially to others. But people who looks more like puzzle...I know someone. She is actually ok, but my Ni does not say "o, that's bad person", it says "it is good person, but you've missed something in that puzzle..". very strange feeling. I hate that. It happened to me few times, that udefined thing and my "I am INFJ who knows much about people:)" vanity is hurt evertime...:D
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This is what Al Pacino thinks about vanity hehehe

[video=youtube;qtg3MwvYfEE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtg3MwvYfEE&feature=related[/video]
 
I'd like to say that the opinions of others regarding someone don't hold any water with me.. but they do. It's hard to resist that influence.
And my opinion doesn't change unless the person does something/is a certain way that negates all that has been said and I see for myself that everyone else just misunderstood.
 
With many people, if they dislike something/someone I assume there is a pretty good chance I will like it/him/her.


People's judgement does influence me because it generally tends to be consistent and predictable, either in accord with how I judge, or against it.


For example: If I hear that Satya thinks a particular law is good and he is excited about it, I can almost be certain that it will be something I find reprehensible. So yeah, others do influence me.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
With many people, if they dislike something/someone I assume there is a pretty good chance I will like it/him/her.


People's judgement does influence me because it generally tends to be consistent and predictable, either in accord with how I judge, or against it.


For example: If I hear that Satya thinks a particular law is good and he is excited about it, I can almost be certain that it will be something I find reprehensible. So yeah, others do influence me.
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Yep. Other people are usually rather predictable and it comes in handy when making my own judgement calls.
 
My experience is when someone is in a selfish state and they don't get what they want, they tend to get angry and some people when they are angry are prone to retaliation. Or when someone feels slighted and lacks understanding and personalizes it and attaches a motive to it instead of finding truth or reaching a state of compassion by jumping out of the snapshot view and being open to another prespective that there might be other variables going on that may have nothing to do with them. Character assassination is a common form of retaliation. It's that whole victimizing and villanizing all in the guise of venting. I believe when one is angry their facts are usually distorted and it has more to do with their ego than anything else. It's amazing how many people buy into that kind of sickness and participate in it instead of judging the person on their own experiences. That has a tendency to make people very closeminded and complicit in the harm and that is never a good thing.
 
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