I like the way you see prioritisation. I imagine that you would be putting equal effort into yourself and your partner. I am happy you are aware of what you want and that you've found something that works for you.
That sense of priority I feel about everyone. It's just some selves are closer or further from me depending on distance and interests. All selfs are equally important. And I think everyones 1st responsiblity is to the self. So I may have trouble prioritising a partners goals over my friends, social and community interests or sometimes even strangers. I really really love people. And I love myself. I want everyone to be happy or otherwise fulfilled on this journey. Everyone is the most important person in the world. My sister and I joke around calling people MIPs. My ideas are related to my spiritual perception and experience of the world. I believe we are all One. And I'm here to enjoy this experience, above all else. Friends are people I enjoy the journey with, not people I feel responsible for.
These are simply my ideals, and perhaps not practical, appealing or even comprehensible to others. I hope everyone gets to live their ideal, well, as long as their ideal doesnt involve harming others lol.
I may be being obtuse here, but if everyone is of equal emotional significance to you, then what is the purpose of pursuing a relationship of this magnitude with a single person? Unless by "important" you mean something other than emotional significance. My ideal is that if you're going to the make such a commitment, you must work with your partner to both grow as an individual person and grow closer to each other than either of you are to anyone else.
That being said, I agree with you as far as "responsibility" goes. You are responsible
to others, but not
for others. You are only responsible for yourself. That's what makes intimacy so special. You know that both of you can be completely self-sufficient and are both responsible for your own existences, yet you have allowed another to become such a central part of your life
and continue to stand by them because you value them so highly, not because you external factors force you to.
Oh, and a side note. You said I've "found something that works for me". This is just what I
want. I haven't
found it yet; I don't even know if it's possible. I am still young (nineteen) and still need to mature as a person before I can even
attempt this. For this reason I have decided to forgo pursuing romantic relationships entirely until
I'm ready to do such a thing and I find someone whom I am both attracted to (physically and spiritually) and who shares my view on relationships.
And as I've said, giving your spouse space to grow is just
part of what it means to prioritize them.