Is it an INFJ trait to speak less and observe more as you get older? | INFJ Forum

Is it an INFJ trait to speak less and observe more as you get older?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Artemisia, Jul 27, 2019.

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  1. Artemisia

    Artemisia Community Member

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    One of my pet peeves is rambling questions and answers. I feel like if I ask a question, most people will ramble on and on when they could answer the question in two or three sentences. Same with people asking questions in academic conferences or seminars. I feel like it is a total waste of my time to hear someone's ramblings and make every effort to be concise and to the point in my own questions and answers, including in emails or texts.

    Lately, I have also realized that I talk less. Perhaps this is our of fear that people will ramble and waste my time if I converse with them at length, but I also seem to prefer observing more than talking. Is this an INFJ trait or just me getting older?
     
  2. Infjente

    Infjente Community Member

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    I think this can be a thing with INFJs, but also for half of the other types. :)
     
  3. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit That is all

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    Idk. I do it too.
     
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  4. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Yes I prefer to observe, but INFJs can ramble about topics we're "obsessed" with and they can also seem extroverted in social situations and be quite chatty. So...
     
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  5. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Yes, I believe it's both. I'm am older INFJ, though I didn't know its depths until recently. I find that I get irritated when I ask a question that can simply be answered with a yes/no answer. I'm often met with a long and drawn out response filled with what I perceive as redundancies. Basically because when I ask the question its purpose was to check my accuracy in my own conclusion, or validate what I know already. The questions are my way of checking if I'm correct through seeking anothers opinion...agreemement. It becomes demeaning to me when the other person, instead of asking first, speaks volumes to the question assuming I don't know anything. Because of this, often I end up finding my best answer and skip asking another's opinion and that results in my not talking much with others.
     
  6. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Interesting, @Sandie33
    I tend to ask questions when I want to learn something new or want a different perspective.
    Sometimes I ask questions to show the other person is valued, even if I don't really need to ask anything.
     
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  7. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
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    Those too @Asa , I was specializing ;)
     
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  8. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

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    Naturally. :hug:

    I also ask questions as if to say, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" LOL
     
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  9. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    YES. It really sucks at work, too. Less is more.

    The problem with me is that I am too direct. People at work tend to need to be coddled into an understanding. Not me. I despise it.
     
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  10. BritNi

    BritNi Perceptive Optimist
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    Wisdom comes with age.

    That might have something to do with it.
     
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  11. Aneirin

    Aneirin wandering aimlessly
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    I think as I get older I find that I simply care less. The things that used to get to me don't have the power they once did. .
     
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  12. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  13. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

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    Is it an INFJ trait to die inside as you get older?
     
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  14. In the Wings

    In the Wings Community Member

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    That'd be an interesting thing to post on the StereoTypes thread.
     
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  15. Stu

    Stu Pre-Pottery B Neolithocrat
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    Recognizing that most of our interactions are dictated by the other's ability to hold our projections can be starkly sad.
    Aging is facing our mortality or doubling down on our denial of it.
    Not connecting with others because we can't see ourselves in them is the realization of absolute aloneness. (and not in a good way)
    The reality of " others" is only appreciated when we see past our projections and deflect theirs.
     
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  16. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

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    [​IMG]
     
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