Is it an INFJ trait to speak less and observe more as you get older? | INFJ Forum

Is it an INFJ trait to speak less and observe more as you get older?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Artemisia, Jul 27, 2019.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 5 users.
More threads by Artemisia
  1. Artemisia

    Artemisia Community Member

    Joined:
    May 20, 2014
    Threads:
    89
    Messages:
    354
    Featured Threads:
    13
    Likes Received:
    194
    Trophy Points:
    602
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    One of my pet peeves is rambling questions and answers. I feel like if I ask a question, most people will ramble on and on when they could answer the question in two or three sentences. Same with people asking questions in academic conferences or seminars. I feel like it is a total waste of my time to hear someone's ramblings and make every effort to be concise and to the point in my own questions and answers, including in emails or texts.

    Lately, I have also realized that I talk less. Perhaps this is our of fear that people will ramble and waste my time if I converse with them at length, but I also seem to prefer observing more than talking. Is this an INFJ trait or just me getting older?
     
  2. Infjente

    Infjente Permanent Fixture

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2017
    Threads:
    9
    Messages:
    900
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    6,290
    Trophy Points:
    1,112
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    Infj
    I think this can be a thing with INFJs, but also for half of the other types. :)
     
  3. Milktoast Bandit

    Milktoast Bandit Welcome to the 2019 Chicken Sandwich War

    Joined:
    May 2, 2016
    Threads:
    77
    Messages:
    9,548
    Featured Threads:
    6
    Likes Received:
    44,366
    Trophy Points:
    3,705
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    MEAT
    Enneagram:
    9
    Idk. I do it too.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    BritNi, wiredandwound and Infjente like this.
  4. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    5,316
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    29,341
    Trophy Points:
    1,956
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Yes I prefer to observe, but INFJs can ramble about topics we're "obsessed" with and they can also seem extroverted in social situations and be quite chatty. So...
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  5. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Threads:
    65
    Messages:
    7,933
    Featured Threads:
    7
    Likes Received:
    36,264
    Trophy Points:
    2,456
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INFJ-t
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 2w3
    Yes, I believe it's both. I'm am older INFJ, though I didn't know its depths until recently. I find that I get irritated when I ask a question that can simply be answered with a yes/no answer. I'm often met with a long and drawn out response filled with what I perceive as redundancies. Basically because when I ask the question its purpose was to check my accuracy in my own conclusion, or validate what I know already. The questions are my way of checking if I'm correct through seeking anothers opinion...agreemement. It becomes demeaning to me when the other person, instead of asking first, speaks volumes to the question assuming I don't know anything. Because of this, often I end up finding my best answer and skip asking another's opinion and that results in my not talking much with others.
     
  6. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    5,316
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    29,341
    Trophy Points:
    1,956
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Interesting, @Sandie33
    I tend to ask questions when I want to learn something new or want a different perspective.
    Sometimes I ask questions to show the other person is valued, even if I don't really need to ask anything.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  7. Sandie33

    Sandie33 Love Often & Absolutely ♡
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2016
    Threads:
    65
    Messages:
    7,933
    Featured Threads:
    7
    Likes Received:
    36,264
    Trophy Points:
    2,456
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INFJ-t
    Enneagram:
    2w1, 2w3
    Those too @Asa , I was specializing ;)
     
    BritNi, Asa and Milktoast Bandit like this.
  8. Asa

    Asa Resident palindrome

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Threads:
    76
    Messages:
    5,316
    Featured Threads:
    23
    Likes Received:
    29,341
    Trophy Points:
    1,956
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Naturally. :hug:

    I also ask questions as if to say, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" LOL
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    BritNi and Sandie33 like this.
  9. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2019
    Threads:
    12
    Messages:
    650
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,647
    Trophy Points:
    598
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    Loyalist
    YES. It really sucks at work, too. Less is more.

    The problem with me is that I am too direct. People at work tend to need to be coddled into an understanding. Not me. I despise it.
     
    Sandie33 and BritNi like this.
  10. BritNi

    BritNi Perceptive Optimist

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2019
    Threads:
    19
    Messages:
    5,771
    Featured Threads:
    15
    Likes Received:
    51,786
    Trophy Points:
    3,072
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    USA
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    2w1
    Wisdom comes with age.

    That might have something to do with it.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Sandie33 and wiredandwound like this.
  11. Aneirin

    Aneirin AKA, David. . feel free to use it, I do
    Donor

    Joined:
    May 29, 2011
    Threads:
    14
    Messages:
    2,409
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    4,284
    Trophy Points:
    892
    Location:
    home
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    type 4w5
    I think as I get older I find that I simply care less. The things that used to get to me don't have the power they once did. .
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    Sandie33 and wiredandwound like this.
  12. wiredandwound

    wiredandwound Community Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2019
    Threads:
    12
    Messages:
    650
    Featured Threads:
    2
    Likes Received:
    1,647
    Trophy Points:
    598
    Gender:
    Male
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    Loyalist
    [​IMG]
     
    Sandie33 likes this.
  13. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    26
    Messages:
    15,004
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    40,973
    Trophy Points:
    2,427
    MBTI:
    xxxx
    Is it an INFJ trait to die inside as you get older?
     
    Sandie33, Stu and In the Wings like this.
  14. In the Wings

    In the Wings Community Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Threads:
    12
    Messages:
    471
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,316
    Trophy Points:
    682
    MBTI:
    xxxx
    That'd be an interesting thing to post on the StereoTypes thread.
     
    Sandie33 and dwr46y like this.
  15. Stu

    Stu Pre-Pottery B Neolithocrat
    Donor

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2009
    Threads:
    214
    Messages:
    12,567
    Featured Threads:
    16
    Likes Received:
    13,162
    Trophy Points:
    1,751
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Turdetania
    MBTI:
    infj
    Enneagram:
    Insouciant
    Recognizing that most of our interactions are dictated by the other's ability to hold our projections can be starkly sad.
    Aging is facing our mortality or doubling down on our denial of it.
    Not connecting with others because we can't see ourselves in them is the realization of absolute aloneness. (and not in a good way)
    The reality of " others" is only appreciated when we see past our projections and deflect theirs.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  16. dwr46y

    dwr46y Well-known weirdo

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    26
    Messages:
    15,004
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    40,973
    Trophy Points:
    2,427
    MBTI:
    xxxx
    [​IMG]
     
    Sandie33, Wyote and Stu like this.
Loading...

Share This Page