is introversion selfish? | Page 3 | INFJ Forum

is introversion selfish?

I didn't intend to just give you an opportunity to boast about your meanness and cool geriatric friends.

You forgot superior rudeness level
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i think it's safe to say the majority of us here are introverts? and even extroverts have their 'introverted' moments, so i'm sure we can all in some ways relate to the feeling of wanting to be alone as opposed to wanting to be with others. now an ethical question: is introversion selfish? selfish in the sense that you're putting your needs above the needs of others, of the group, or whoever else may need or appreciate your company. introversion is withholding your presence from others, for whatever reason, and of course, that means depriving others of what you could legitimately give by being there. is this wrong? is becoming overwhelmed and needing respite from social activity a morally acceptable reason to introvert? think about the people you could be making happier by talking to them, the relationships you could be enabling others to form with you if you were merely present to them, accessible and sociable and unrestrained in your affections towards them. is it wrong to put your own needs above these other people? why or why not? a poignant example to put the idea into perspective: people say suicide is selfish, because it totally deprives ones' family and friends of ones' company. it is a total loss of their ability to enjoy your presence, insights, decisions and reactions through life. introversion, relative to extroversion, could be said to be a similar loss to society at large, in a more subtle and indirect way.

shaming suicide would definitely be in conjunction to this. You can’t under any circumstances be ethical and ignore the subjective reality of another human being. Therefore the one who has decided to commit suicide was suffering and is beyond what should be considered “bad or good”. They were human. Flawed as each of us are, BUT in a separate category of what is to be considered perfection, as their experience of life wasn’t good in itself. It’s ridiculous to shame someone for their own experience as their experience of life is a facet of life as all of us experience it. Ethics aren’t the same as morality. Your need for time isn’t a moral question as much as it would be is it “ethical”.

ethically, you will need time to yourself. You can give to others as much as you possibly can, but it doesn’t mean you should be expected to have everything to give all the time. You can’t have the answers through your whole life and the beauty of introversion is that you’re willing to give that energy and love to others to exchange. I guess asking for that time and the manner in which we do it would raise an eyebrow, as how we communicate would come with cultural expectation which would be fluid depending on who you’re communicating with. So I guess it would be almost like supply and demand at that moment. Which wouldn’t make you a “bad” person. Simply a human being in need of time. Like when a butterfly goes in its chrysalis, you can’t force it to be a butterfly. Oh lawd. I’ve read this somewhere before.
:tired: Silencing myself now.
 
Of course introversion is selfish, in the same way that hogging the bathroom is selfish. That doesn't mean that you don't need some time alone, or in the loo, but it's probably best kept to a polite minimum.
 
Extroverts are not engaging with others solely on the basis of offering something to others. They are energized by socialising for much of the same reasons an alcoholic is energized by a booze up. They're looking to gratify themselves and will often happily abandon you and your needs if you fail to contribute to their high.

Humans may require social interaction, but we also require some degree of independence in order to have anything left of ourselves to contribute in the first place.
 
Extroverts are not engaging with others solely on the basis of offering something to others. They are energized by socialising for much of the same reasons an alcoholic is energized by a booze up. They're looking to gratify themselves and will often happily abandon you and your needs if you fail to contribute to their high.

Humans may require social interaction, but we also require some degree of independence in order to have anything left of ourselves to contribute in the first place.

While there is a middle ground that is normal and healthy I find it hard sometimes to not compare these sort to those with an obvious drug addiction. God forbid they have to live with themselves for more than five minutes and r.i.p society.
 
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Of course you gotta be alone when you are not in a party mood with total strangers especially when you ain't such a party person. I don't think something is wrong with that. You don't have to be someone you are not and just because you being yourself you ain't being selfish. You ain't being selfish for things you wouldn't do. It's your business to live life however you want.

But I think you being selfish when you really not disliking partying with your friends but you throw a childish tantrum for you want to be alone instead, even doorslam them just because you don't want to party with them. It would be so selfish when they organized a party just for you but you refused to go to the party.

So the formula for being selfish is simple: not necessarily being yourself + not doing what someone you care about requests from you when it really means a lot for them for you to do what they request

The formula for being not selfish: being yourself + doing what's requested won't mean anything to anyone

About suicide: My parents didn't ask my permission to exist so it's not selfish when I leave them. They can go to hell like I care. But it would be selfish to suicide when you have a wife/husband, child, etc. (a family of your own I mean) who cares about your existence either because they love you or they need your money to survive, etc. reasons. I still think it would be selfish to suicide even when your wife/husband and child doesn't even like you but they need your money to survive because as a man of the family I have such responsibility so I can't just leave them. I don't know what a female would think about it, if they have such pride, etc. but I guess it doesn't matter to me.

People can do whatever they want and I don't really care if others being selfish or not no matter what because it's their life and I'm not a morality judge because it's none of my business.
 
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