INTP + INFP?
- Thread starter Gaze
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Not many from what I've seen, to be honest. I've known a fair few INFPs, and dated one for a year, and they're very similar to me. I think they've been considerably more excited upon findng someone who they could relate to than I was... but not that much more excited. They both construct these details worldviews/maps that they think explain reality, though I guess the focus is a little different. INFPs seem to care a lot more naturally what the logical results of holding certain values are, while INTPs kind of build theories about the things they see indiscriminantly... but that usually just makes us happy to talk to each other, because the other type has thought about things we haven't, and then there's a lot more overlap again.
Both also tend to solve tough problems not by aggressively attacking the problem itself, but by searching around for whatever's causing it and plucking those out instead. It's hard to explain what a problem looks like in my mind's eye, but.... it's almost like attacking the problem outright is like trying to muscle down a sophisticated robot in hand-to-hand combat, while looking around for the cause and fixing it is as easy as pulling the plug out... so that's kind of how both of the INxPs solve problems. I guess the difference is that INFPs take feelings as the unalterable starting point, where INTPs keep trying to root around for causes as if feelings were anything else. When talking to people who were mad at someone else for [whatever], I've pissed quite a few off even more by trying to figure out innocent thoughts/motives which would have also caused the other person's actions. Quite frankly, 99% of the time there are two relatively-innocent sides to the story, and I figured that if one person didn't think the other did something as bad as they thought they did, they would be less upset. What a disaster! INFPs do the same "find the root of a problem, work on that instead of attacking directly" thing, but to them, it's like the feelings are the cause, not the effect. So the INTP thinks "ok... you're uset, but it's because of this situation. I betcha if we look at this closer, you'll be less upset when you think about it," and the INFP thinks "ok... there's some big, messy problem going on that's too complicated to figure out, but you're upset over it. That I know how to work with," and they just kind of ignore the problem and engage the feelings.
As much as that still boggles my mind, I can't deny how well it works. So again, if you get an INTP to shuffle their understanding around in the right way, you get someone who engages things like that in a very INFP-like way. So I guess... I think that the only real difference lies in which one comes naturally, and how "fundamental" feelings seem in the framework their minds use.
hm.... that's off the top of my head, at least. I'm sure I'll reconsider and might be back in a couple hours/days after it sinks in and I see whether I really think it's accurate or not.
Both also tend to solve tough problems not by aggressively attacking the problem itself, but by searching around for whatever's causing it and plucking those out instead. It's hard to explain what a problem looks like in my mind's eye, but.... it's almost like attacking the problem outright is like trying to muscle down a sophisticated robot in hand-to-hand combat, while looking around for the cause and fixing it is as easy as pulling the plug out... so that's kind of how both of the INxPs solve problems. I guess the difference is that INFPs take feelings as the unalterable starting point, where INTPs keep trying to root around for causes as if feelings were anything else. When talking to people who were mad at someone else for [whatever], I've pissed quite a few off even more by trying to figure out innocent thoughts/motives which would have also caused the other person's actions. Quite frankly, 99% of the time there are two relatively-innocent sides to the story, and I figured that if one person didn't think the other did something as bad as they thought they did, they would be less upset. What a disaster! INFPs do the same "find the root of a problem, work on that instead of attacking directly" thing, but to them, it's like the feelings are the cause, not the effect. So the INTP thinks "ok... you're uset, but it's because of this situation. I betcha if we look at this closer, you'll be less upset when you think about it," and the INFP thinks "ok... there's some big, messy problem going on that's too complicated to figure out, but you're upset over it. That I know how to work with," and they just kind of ignore the problem and engage the feelings.
As much as that still boggles my mind, I can't deny how well it works. So again, if you get an INTP to shuffle their understanding around in the right way, you get someone who engages things like that in a very INFP-like way. So I guess... I think that the only real difference lies in which one comes naturally, and how "fundamental" feelings seem in the framework their minds use.
hm.... that's off the top of my head, at least. I'm sure I'll reconsider and might be back in a couple hours/days after it sinks in and I see whether I really think it's accurate or not.
I am a very pronounced INTP, and my mom an INFP who is close to being an ENFP. I guess I'm more like my mom than my INTJ dad, but we are still quite different.
My mom does like to acknowledge that things can be simply correct or incorrect, instead insisting that we should all share our personal preferences and be respectful of how other people like different things. I think Fi hears "there are no right or wrong answers" as "don't worry, anything you say will be right," whereas Ti hears it as "abandon all hope, for you shall fail miserably no matter what you try, and shall never be able to correct your mistakes or learn from them."
She is much more likely to make positive comments on things, and to give what I consider empty praise. I am more critical, and always much prefer constructive criticism over empty platitudes. She tries to be polite, whereas I don't really see any options except being honest or silent.
Her intuition is generally amazing, but her reasoning skills almost non-existent. She claims that when she makes a wild guess she is usually right but that when she thinks things through she is usually wrong, so she has pretty much given up on logic. Her driving instructions are horrible (when going 45 miles per hour, being told of a turn only 15 feet in advance is not enough), yet she is rarely more than 30 seconds off when estimating how long it will take to drive home from just about anywhere. She comes up with a lot of ideas of how random things could be useful and so suggests saving them to make something out of latter, while I immediately know that the amount of work needed to make it worth anything could be much better spent in other ways.
We are both rather lazy, but we approach the concept of work very differently. I see real problems that need fixing, and think that jobs should be assigned based on who does what most efficiently. She thinks that it is more important that everyone has one job to do every day so as to "feel like part of the family." I'd focus on getting the big repairs done first, while she insists that we need to get the place really tidy so as not to be embarrassed when a stranger comes to fix something. I generally don't care what others think of me unless it is someone I really like or someone on whom I depend for a grade. She leaves a big tip regardless and bases it on the total price, whereas I save big tips for exemplary service and I think that tipping should not take the price into account at all as doing so only encourages them to charge more.
My mom often anticipates what other people want and tries to give it to them, even if they repeatedly insist that they do not want it.
I think her hearing has gotten rather bad lately, but she just answers whatever questions she was expecting rather than asking for clarification as to what was said. (By contrast, my dad has long had poor hearing but he asks for clarification if he thinks he got even a single letter off so it does not lead to as many misunderstandings.) My hearing is not bad, but I ask for clarifications more, both based on possible mishearing and farfetched interpretations that depend on puns.
My mother seems to think that she has a duty to reply to every email she receives. There is one person to whose emails I'll always carefully, but most of the time when someone messages me I ignore it. She frequently forwards things and emails links to YouTube clips she liked. I never do that. When at a party she seems to think that part of leaving is going around to talk to everyone one last time to say goodbye, whereas I think of leaving as swiftly and quietly going out the door.
I never really do anything based on how I feel at the moment, but may based on a general trend of how I have felt for months or years. Typically I don't really know how I feel about something until much latter. When I do know how I feel immediately it is usually indirectly, through a sudden and powerful reminder an important point in my past to which I have already ascribed an emotional value. I tend to believe that there must be some good reason for the feeling which I need to figure out, and that while emotions an good for drawing attention to important concerns those concerns must be address dispassionately.
She is normally very calm, but quite unpleasant and irrational when angry. I get angered even less often, but find that when I am I tend to gain even greater self control, becoming cold instead of hot, focused instead of chaotic,
My mom does like to acknowledge that things can be simply correct or incorrect, instead insisting that we should all share our personal preferences and be respectful of how other people like different things. I think Fi hears "there are no right or wrong answers" as "don't worry, anything you say will be right," whereas Ti hears it as "abandon all hope, for you shall fail miserably no matter what you try, and shall never be able to correct your mistakes or learn from them."
She is much more likely to make positive comments on things, and to give what I consider empty praise. I am more critical, and always much prefer constructive criticism over empty platitudes. She tries to be polite, whereas I don't really see any options except being honest or silent.
Her intuition is generally amazing, but her reasoning skills almost non-existent. She claims that when she makes a wild guess she is usually right but that when she thinks things through she is usually wrong, so she has pretty much given up on logic. Her driving instructions are horrible (when going 45 miles per hour, being told of a turn only 15 feet in advance is not enough), yet she is rarely more than 30 seconds off when estimating how long it will take to drive home from just about anywhere. She comes up with a lot of ideas of how random things could be useful and so suggests saving them to make something out of latter, while I immediately know that the amount of work needed to make it worth anything could be much better spent in other ways.
We are both rather lazy, but we approach the concept of work very differently. I see real problems that need fixing, and think that jobs should be assigned based on who does what most efficiently. She thinks that it is more important that everyone has one job to do every day so as to "feel like part of the family." I'd focus on getting the big repairs done first, while she insists that we need to get the place really tidy so as not to be embarrassed when a stranger comes to fix something. I generally don't care what others think of me unless it is someone I really like or someone on whom I depend for a grade. She leaves a big tip regardless and bases it on the total price, whereas I save big tips for exemplary service and I think that tipping should not take the price into account at all as doing so only encourages them to charge more.
My mom often anticipates what other people want and tries to give it to them, even if they repeatedly insist that they do not want it.
I think her hearing has gotten rather bad lately, but she just answers whatever questions she was expecting rather than asking for clarification as to what was said. (By contrast, my dad has long had poor hearing but he asks for clarification if he thinks he got even a single letter off so it does not lead to as many misunderstandings.) My hearing is not bad, but I ask for clarifications more, both based on possible mishearing and farfetched interpretations that depend on puns.
My mother seems to think that she has a duty to reply to every email she receives. There is one person to whose emails I'll always carefully, but most of the time when someone messages me I ignore it. She frequently forwards things and emails links to YouTube clips she liked. I never do that. When at a party she seems to think that part of leaving is going around to talk to everyone one last time to say goodbye, whereas I think of leaving as swiftly and quietly going out the door.
I never really do anything based on how I feel at the moment, but may based on a general trend of how I have felt for months or years. Typically I don't really know how I feel about something until much latter. When I do know how I feel immediately it is usually indirectly, through a sudden and powerful reminder an important point in my past to which I have already ascribed an emotional value. I tend to believe that there must be some good reason for the feeling which I need to figure out, and that while emotions an good for drawing attention to important concerns those concerns must be address dispassionately.
She is normally very calm, but quite unpleasant and irrational when angry. I get angered even less often, but find that when I am I tend to gain even greater self control, becoming cold instead of hot, focused instead of chaotic,
The points highlighted sound like what I've done or thought. I just did this with a friend of mine. She was upset about a quiz grade and I asked her questions to get to the root of what the issue or her concern, and tried to help her realize that it's not as bad as she thinks.
Are you sure your mom is an INFP. To be honest, she sounds more like my mom who is an ISFJ.
I would think the main difference would be that INTPs have no idea what they're feeling until they're blowing up.
I haven't actually known INFPs so I can't really compare them. But I think it's fun to talk about INTPs, anyway. Generalizations, incoming.
INTPs have resting derp face. This is because they are thinking. If you're talking to an INTP, you are interrupting them and whatever they're thinking about probably has nothing to do with you. It probably has to do with pineapples or plate tectonics or World War II or anything, really. Have you ever had one of those days where you went from one topic to the next on Wikipedia? This is what it's like for INTP all day every day.
INTPs don't know what they want. They can't commit to what's for dinner much less to a relationship. If they start to commit to anything, it's as if a tiny explosion of doubt goes off in their brains and a thousand what if scenarios and alternatives suddenly become very real. Suddenly, they feel trapped. If it seems like they like a decision, just wait. Texas weather is actually INTP.
I imagine that INFPs know what they like and what they believe, perhaps rigidly so. INTPs have all that stubbornness but without any actual decision making. If you want to push them to make a decision, use reverse psychology. As soon as they have something to rebel against, they have a direction--away. But, they are excitable. Make something seem like their idea and they'll be all over it--they'll even attend the pep rally. Twenty minutes later it will be as if it never happened. If someone else comes by with authority or cake they'll suddenly realize how unimportant the previous idea was. Besides, they need to get back to thinking about Doctor Who.
But... maybe it's just me. I think INTPs are adorable... like snapping turtles.
I haven't actually known INFPs so I can't really compare them. But I think it's fun to talk about INTPs, anyway. Generalizations, incoming.
INTPs have resting derp face. This is because they are thinking. If you're talking to an INTP, you are interrupting them and whatever they're thinking about probably has nothing to do with you. It probably has to do with pineapples or plate tectonics or World War II or anything, really. Have you ever had one of those days where you went from one topic to the next on Wikipedia? This is what it's like for INTP all day every day.
INTPs don't know what they want. They can't commit to what's for dinner much less to a relationship. If they start to commit to anything, it's as if a tiny explosion of doubt goes off in their brains and a thousand what if scenarios and alternatives suddenly become very real. Suddenly, they feel trapped. If it seems like they like a decision, just wait. Texas weather is actually INTP.
I imagine that INFPs know what they like and what they believe, perhaps rigidly so. INTPs have all that stubbornness but without any actual decision making. If you want to push them to make a decision, use reverse psychology. As soon as they have something to rebel against, they have a direction--away. But, they are excitable. Make something seem like their idea and they'll be all over it--they'll even attend the pep rally. Twenty minutes later it will be as if it never happened. If someone else comes by with authority or cake they'll suddenly realize how unimportant the previous idea was. Besides, they need to get back to thinking about Doctor Who.
But... maybe it's just me. I think INTPs are adorable... like snapping turtles.
Accurate.
1. An excuse to escape all the peskie peoples and small talk.
2. To cope with their overwhelming abundance of feelings.