INFP and INTJ

[technics]

This is more directed to INFPs: I am trying to court an INFP right now. There was attraction in the beginning, then it got colder, then warmer again, and so on. I don't know where we are now, but take it as it is. I'm interested in her, but don't want to move too fast.

I wanted to know: What is it that you find attractive about INTJs? From my experience with INFPs (or probably with all women), strength has something to do with it. The confidence, the "knowing what you want and where to go". What else? The enigma, the intellectuality, the cold exterior?

And how do you think should I proceed? I feel that if I ask her out now, she will say no. I'm pretty certain about that, that's no good move.

 

[Tin Man]

Wouldn't it be best to seek advice on an INFP forum? I believe there's quite an active community for INFPs out there.

Perhaps, you're being a bit too cautious. It sounds like she was interested in you and maybe expected you to make a move. It might have grown cooler when you didn't and she assumed you weren't interested in her.

 

[technics]

Yeah, but from my experience, the members here have greater insight than in the other forums. There are a few INFPs here that always give good advice.

 

[acd]

I liked my intj ex because he was very intelligent and interesting...a bit eccentric.
We were like opposites that usually agreed in the end-- just arrived through different means.
he was psychologically fascinating to me because of that-- how we could be so different and then so alike..

And I will admit I did think his arrogance was hot for awhile.. Until it got old..
it didn't hurt that he was easy on the eyes, too.

 

[Gaze]

Yeah, confidence is attractive but INFPs are also drawn to openness. If someone is too closed or too unavailable or too evasive or giving too many mixed signals, then she may be turned off. Sometimes, INTJs can be intimidating or seem a little unapproachable. So, being cautious but open is good. INFPs also like honesty. They don't like emotional games because they're likely more sensitive to certain things compared to other types, and not in a negative way. They pick up on emotions fairly well. So, don't play emotional games. Don't be inconsistent. If you're interested, go for it, but still take it slow. If you're really interested, don't rush into anything but take your time getting to know her. That's my two cents.