INFJ women, what are you thinking?

TrevOrTrevor

TrevOrTrevor

Community Member
MBTI
INFJ
My situation is that I'm in a relationship right now with a girl - MBTI unknown and I have a close male friend who is married to a female infj.
The female infj is my problem...
My interactions with my her up to this point have mainly consisted of random chit-chat. We like each other quite well and have the same humour and recently have been able to begin to break through each others barriers, though we rarely talk alone.
The thing is, sometimes she'll give me a look that just drives me crazy. She has said she finds me attractive in off-handed jokes, and also, she'll occasionally make jokes about all of us having a foursome. My gf and her husband joke along as well. I also go along with it (sexual talk is fun, albeit difficult for me) and I think we all realize that it wouldn't be a good idea, but now I can't stop fantasizing about her.
It's put a real wrench in my ability to get to know her more.

What are her possible thoughts about our friendship/relationship?
 
I think that as long as your keep in mind that your fantasies will always be more satisfying than the reality you'll be okay.

No sense in ruining two relationships over a fling.
 
^^agreed with Alcyone.

Enjoy your fantasies, but this guy is your friend, and you have a girlfriend. You're only human and you're not dead. It is highly likely your going to meet quite a few more women that you are attracted to along the road. :wink: you can't throw in the towel every time a sexy lady makes playful statements. This is just going to be something you have to control.. and she will have to control also. Especially if she is an INFJ. She may very well be extremely attracted to you if she is making these types of comments, but she's married which means she has invested time and emotions into this relationship, and unless her marriage is completely kaput I would venture to say she's not going to risk it on a fling. ...

I don't know.. too many unknown factors. Go with Alcy's advice.
 
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I think she broke a boundary.
Not cool.
 
alcyone said:
I think that as long as your keep in mind that your fantasies will always be more satisfying than the reality you'll be okay.

No sense in ruining two relationships over a fling.
Click to expand...

I totally agree. Thanks!

mallory knox said:
just curiosity how do you people know if people are INFJs?
Click to expand...

I just asked her to do the test. :)

dneecey said:
^^agreed with Alcyone.

Enjoy your fantasies, but this guy is your friend, and you have a girlfriend. You're only human and you're not dead. It is highly likely your going to meet quite a few more women that you are attracted to along the road. :wink: you can't throw in the towel every time a sexy lady makes playful statements. This is just going to be something you have to control.. and she will have to control also. Especially if she is an INFJ. She may very well be extremely attracted to you if she is making these types of comments, but she's married which means she has invested time and emotions into this relationship, and unless her marriage is completely kaput I would venture to say she's not going to risk it on a fling. ...

I don't know.. too many unknown factors. Go with Alcy's advice.
Click to expand...

I agree. I would never want to hurt any of them. He's pretty much my best friend, and she's a really good person. Their marriage seems to me to be good. I'll just have to manage my mind until it passes I guess.
You infj girls! :P


sumone said:
I think she broke a boundary.
Not cool.
Click to expand...

To be fair, my gf and her are very close friends, and I think my gf knows she at least finds me attractive, so there is no sneakyness there.

Thanks again :)
 
I actually agree that she crossed a boundary. Its one thing to tell your friend that you think their boyfriend is cute, intelligent, whatever, its completely another thing to tell people that you're attracted to him. It just makes things uncomfortable and complicated when they don't need to be. Especially when she has a husband! Think of how he would feel.
 
Shes married, so I think you should forget about a relationship with her at all.
 
I hear you, and no I don't want a physical relationship with her.

My point is that now that she's permanently in my close circle of friends, I'd like to know her better, but I'm having a hard time because of our attraction.

Also, anytime she says she finds me attractive its always very jokey and subtle and it's not very often. She does however on occasion give me that look (which seems to me to always be just between us), that makes me think she's interested in.....something???? (touchy subject I know)

I just want to be friends with her.
 
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