INFJ women, what are you thinking? | INFJ Forum

INFJ women, what are you thinking?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by TrevOrTrevor, Aug 6, 2009.

Share This Page

Watchers:
This thread is being watched by 1 user.
More threads by TrevOrTrevor
  1. TrevOrTrevor

    TrevOrTrevor Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Threads:
    7
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    My situation is that I'm in a relationship right now with a girl - MBTI unknown and I have a close male friend who is married to a female infj.
    The female infj is my problem...
    My interactions with my her up to this point have mainly consisted of random chit-chat. We like each other quite well and have the same humour and recently have been able to begin to break through each others barriers, though we rarely talk alone.
    The thing is, sometimes she'll give me a look that just drives me crazy. She has said she finds me attractive in off-handed jokes, and also, she'll occasionally make jokes about all of us having a foursome. My gf and her husband joke along as well. I also go along with it (sexual talk is fun, albeit difficult for me) and I think we all realize that it wouldn't be a good idea, but now I can't stop fantasizing about her.
    It's put a real wrench in my ability to get to know her more.

    What are her possible thoughts about our friendship/relationship?
     
  2. alcyone

    Donor

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2008
    Threads:
    33
    Messages:
    2,306
    Likes Received:
    109
    Trophy Points:
    210
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    WTF
    I think that as long as your keep in mind that your fantasies will always be more satisfying than the reality you'll be okay.

    No sense in ruining two relationships over a fling.
     
  3. mallory knox

    mallory knox Community Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2009
    Threads:
    5
    Messages:
    224
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    just curiosity how do you people know if people are INFJs?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    NaeturVindur likes this.
  4. dneecey

    dneecey I am who I am.

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2009
    Threads:
    132
    Messages:
    3,528
    Featured Threads:
    1
    Likes Received:
    877
    Trophy Points:
    593
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    9w1
    ^^agreed with Alcyone.

    Enjoy your fantasies, but this guy is your friend, and you have a girlfriend. You're only human and you're not dead. It is highly likely your going to meet quite a few more women that you are attracted to along the road. :wink: you can't throw in the towel every time a sexy lady makes playful statements. This is just going to be something you have to control.. and she will have to control also. Especially if she is an INFJ. She may very well be extremely attracted to you if she is making these types of comments, but she's married which means she has invested time and emotions into this relationship, and unless her marriage is completely kaput I would venture to say she's not going to risk it on a fling. ...

    I don't know.. too many unknown factors. Go with Alcy's advice.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
    #4 dneecey, Aug 6, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2009
  5. sumone

    sumone down the rabbit hole

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Threads:
    67
    Messages:
    3,866
    Likes Received:
    222
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    infj
    I think she broke a boundary.
    Not cool.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  6. OP
    TrevOrTrevor

    TrevOrTrevor Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Threads:
    7
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I totally agree. Thanks!

    I just asked her to do the test. :)

    I agree. I would never want to hurt any of them. He's pretty much my best friend, and she's a really good person. Their marriage seems to me to be good. I'll just have to manage my mind until it passes I guess.
    You infj girls! :p


    To be fair, my gf and her are very close friends, and I think my gf knows she at least finds me attractive, so there is no sneakyness there.

    Thanks again :)
     
  7. CoffeeShopDiva

    CoffeeShopDiva Community Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2009
    Threads:
    24
    Messages:
    523
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I actually agree that she crossed a boundary. Its one thing to tell your friend that you think their boyfriend is cute, intelligent, whatever, its completely another thing to tell people that you're attracted to him. It just makes things uncomfortable and complicated when they don't need to be. Especially when she has a husband! Think of how he would feel.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  8. Faye

    Faye ^_^
    Staff Member Administrator

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2009
    Threads:
    311
    Messages:
    7,278
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    4,615
    Trophy Points:
    892
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Gridania
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    4w5
    Shes married, so I think you should forget about a relationship with her at all.
     
  9. OP
    TrevOrTrevor

    TrevOrTrevor Community Member

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2009
    Threads:
    7
    Messages:
    233
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    I hear you, and no I don't want a physical relationship with her.

    My point is that now that she's permanently in my close circle of friends, I'd like to know her better, but I'm having a hard time because of our attraction.

    Also, anytime she says she finds me attractive its always very jokey and subtle and it's not very often. She does however on occasion give me that look (which seems to me to always be just between us), that makes me think she's interested in.....something???? (touchy subject I know)

    I just want to be friends with her.
     
    #9 TrevOrTrevor, Aug 12, 2009
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2009
  10. Thoth

    Thoth Regular Poster

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2008
    Threads:
    4
    Messages:
    100
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INTP/INFJ
    You're given an ID card when you turn 18 that has your type on it.

    ...

    You did get your card, right?
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
  11. Jana

    Jana Searching...

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
    Threads:
    81
    Messages:
    2,080
    Likes Received:
    387
    Trophy Points:
    642
    MBTI:
    infj
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page