INFJ (or any introvert) and party party party:)

[Jana]

We all here probably know basics on introversion and extroversion. I like being in good company, I like talk, drink, play games of any kind. I like being outdoor with friends, I like barbicue. You get the point. When it is too much for me, I go...
What makes me frustrated from time to time is how hard is for not so introverted and more "in body" persons to get that I don't like loud music and dancing. If I get dollar/euro/whatever for every time I heard line: Relax, be spontanous and dance (or something like that).
I would if I want to do that. I get really annoyed by "Relax.." line...really
Your experiences?
How do you manage to make people to understand how is to be in your shoes...?

 

[Flavus Aquila]

When people say 'relax', it may sometimes have a slightly critical undertone. Nevertheless, I take it as a general expression of good-will: this person wants me to relax and be comfortable.

I find a couple of stinging drinks make it easier to relax; and dark/mirrored sunglasses keep enough of a sense of personal privacy in a crowd for me to have a sweet time.

 

[Reverie]

I go to boring parties where nobody dances, few if any people hook up, you meet new people without bodily contact, and you can actually hear each other talk. The married couple who show up are super-responsible and bring food, and everyone gathers in the host's basement to enjoy his well-stocked bar, take turns behind the counter, listen to music, play beer pong, talk, and smoke hookah.

Never enjoyed the kind of parties that are loud and horny, which is what I hear the most complaints about. I think people who see that as the ideal social setting would tire of me fast.

 

[say what]

I need to be in the mood to party- and when I am, it's great! I like spontaneous parties, as they often have less expectations of being great. I find that if there's a planned party, and I pep myself up to go, I often have really grand ideas about what it'll be, and then am let down instantly.

I don't really try and make people understand what it's like to be in my shoes...I only go to parties if I want to be there, that way it's easier for me to relax and enjoy the situation. If I don't want to be there, all I can think about is being home (often in bed and pjs) and it's almost drowning- it's all I can think about.

 

[Gaze]

I used to be bothered by this a lot but I realized no one cares . At this point, just have fun doing what you enjoy, and if parties are not really enjoyable, then try different events. People are usually bothered by someone who is not a partier mostly when they seem as if they're not having fun. So, if you enjoy talking with others about your own interests or also show interest in other people and what they're doing, people are fine.

 

[acd]

I don't feel that other people need to understand what it's like to be me. Anyway, I try to avoid situations with loud music and crowds because, well, it's not fun for me and it's not fun for anyone with me to listen to me complain, "it's too loud in here!"

But if I must be in that situation (say a work party I couldn't get out of attending or some big family thing) I focus on the positives in the moment, such as the jovial spirit of the evening. Though a drink or two helps as well! People don't pester me about being quiet or not wanting to dance because I don't try to fit in that way, so they probably already expect me to be reserved.

 

[bamf]

I just throw the parties so they're under my control and I don't have to worry about it. I enjoy entertaining quite a bit.

 

[Ghoulia Yelps]

I can be wild and fun, but I have to be safe and in good company. I get on with most people, but there is only a select few I can really be myself with.
I am very shy in actual fact, but can come over as an extrovert. I don't find it easy to be extroverted all the time. I very often feel completely alone in company, because there is all this going on and I'm locked up in my own head with my own feelings.

 

[Deleted member 10171]

Not sure about the wild bit but can definitely relate to the fun part and being around safe and good company is a bonus. I too can often be misconstrued for being an extrovert (it might be because when the music plays – the louder the better - I can’t wait to get on the dance floor!). I become a completely different person (and there’s no alcohol involved!)

If there was a choice between engaging in a 15 minute general chit chat or going to a club and dance for a 12 hour marathon – 9/10 times, it will always be the dance marathon.

Dancing is probably one activity where my brain actually says, “TIME OUT!” – I love it!!

 

[barbad0s]

Tell extroverts you can't relax too much or you risk wetting yourself