INFJ Mom ENTJ/P Son | INFJ Forum

INFJ Mom ENTJ/P Son

TheSafety

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Jun 30, 2008
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Let me tell you a little about me:

I score high on interpersonal, logic, intrapersonal, and verbal intelligences and through my analysis my mother is unbelievable at verbal and linguistic intelligences. In conversations with her I have asked her what her type was and she told me INFP, which I know to be false, because I have dated two INFJs before, and it does not add up. My conclusion is that she is an INFJ, so what is that? She has only once lied to me before.

She has verbalized that she has never seen someone as manipulative as I, but I do not manipulate by choice; all I can do is lay down a reasonable path for someone to take my advice or not; I never force it. IThe manipulation, as she calls it, is never intentional.

I can only hold relatively short intellectual conversations with my mother because she says I wear her out energy wise. She is highly intelligent and has taught higher education, but I can only imagine how much I was to deal with growing up, and was curious as to your take on the parent/child relationship. I have read up on as much as I can to help our communication process, and have come back around to my faith after battling with it six years, something she loves to talk about.

I am about as Idealistic as I can get, I see the potential in everyone and understand that everyone has their place in the world; optimistic is the only way to be, and I would never intentionally take away someone’s confidence. I have been blessed with the gift of intellect and I know that my future lies in leading others and making the tough decisions for them and for their families; I never enjoy firing people as some of my counterparts do.
I know that she was a great parent, letting me learn at my own pace and attempting to harvest my interests; never forcing the issue. She was as nurturing as can be, but to me was too absorbed in how someone would feel in a given situation regardless of how the greater outcome would benefit more.
Basically I am asking for your take on my type and how should I interact better with yours.

I know I must sound overly confident, but that is me, that is the only way I know to be. Thanks in advance for your time.
 
Hi and welcome. You're a very good writer, I enjoyed your post.
She may not have been lying as lots of people are on the J/P line.
Calling you manipulative might have been a knee jerk reaction to something you said or the way you said it. Maybe it was something she didn't want to hear.
Try not to take it personally when she says she's worn out and blames it on your energy. It's not a flaw or a fault of your own. INFJ's take on a lot, sometimes quite quickly, and rather than overload and lose the whole gist they will need time to process what they've already heard or felt before taking on more. At least that's the way it is for me. Does she seem to do it too abruptly or in a hurtful way?
My 15 year old daughter can overload me and I can see the hurt on her face sometimes when I tell her it's time to stop talking, no matter how gently I put it. I'm still trying to figure out my daughter's type but I think she might be ESTJ. We've had a much better relationship since I've relaxed and accepted our differences.
 
TheSafety said:
Let me tell you a little about me:

I score high on interpersonal, logic, intrapersonal, and verbal intelligences and through my analysis my mother is unbelievable at verbal and linguistic intelligences. In conversations with her I have asked her what her type was and she told me INFP, which I know to be false, because I have dated two INFJs before, and it does not add up. My conclusion is that she is an INFJ, so what is that? She has only once lied to me before.
If she understands the types properly then I don't believe anyone is in a better position to type her as it has to do with how we think and feel, these are things that no one else can ever really see. But if she doesn't understand the types then mistakes are easy to make. Saying she lied about this sounds strange to me, I'm unsure why anyone would mistype themselves on purpose, am I missing something here?

She has verbalized that she has never seen someone as manipulative as I, but I do not manipulate by choice; all I can do is lay down a reasonable path for someone to take my advice or not; I never force it. IThe manipulation, as she calls it, is never intentional.
Manipulation is quite subjective in my opinion, I do many things with an end result in mind that can manipulate others along the way, I'd rather not consider myself manupulitive because I don't go about trying to get people to do things that will be detremental to them or cause problems but I'm sure others would not see the grey area so easily.

I can only hold relatively short intellectual conversations with my mother because she says I wear her out energy wise. She is highly intelligent and has taught higher education, but I can only imagine how much I was to deal with growing up, and was curious as to your take on the parent/child relationship. I have read up on as much as I can to help our communication process, and have come back around to my faith after battling with it six years, something she loves to talk about.
That's a tough one, the only solution in my mind is to reserve those conversations for your friends or family that will be able to relate in the same manner. It sounds less type related and more individual to me though.

I am about as Idealistic as I can get, I see the potential in everyone and understand that everyone has their place in the world; optimistic is the only way to be, and I would never intentionally take away someone’s confidence. I have been blessed with the gift of intellect and I know that my future lies in leading others and making the tough decisions for them and for their families; I never enjoy firing people as some of my counterparts do.
I know that she was a great parent, letting me learn at my own pace and attempting to harvest my interests; never forcing the issue. She was as nurturing as can be, but to me was too absorbed in how someone would feel in a given situation regardless of how the greater outcome would benefit more.
Basically I am asking for your take on my type and how should I interact better with yours.
I'll bow out here as this is better coming from the INFJs about the place ;)

But hey? there are people out there who enjoy firing others? How odd, that is one of the harder things I have to do, whilst necessary I certainly don't enjoy it.