Infj male/enfp female relationship | INFJ Forum

Infj male/enfp female relationship

Navy22

Three
Jul 13, 2016
3
0
123
MBTI
INFJ
Hi guys,

New to the forum and only recently came across the personality types in which I discovered I was an INFJ.

I'm currently in a long term relationship with an ENFP girl and we've been together five years. We've recently got back from travelling together for a year and a half.
Recently I got it into my head that I didn't want a relationship anymore, mainly in my mind due to being scared about the next step of our relationship which would be looking to save up for a place together and our relationship to eventually lead to marriage. Which scares me because of the way my mum and dad are unhappily married and I overthink things and question a lot of things that probably don't need too.

Would like some opinions please, as I'm really struggling to understand my true feelings. Having almost ended the relationship when we got back, I asked for more time to think it through. Since we've had even just a few days apart, I feel re energised and have missed my girlfriend a lot. Is it possible that simply spending more or less 24/7 with a very talkative ENFP for a year and a half has severely drained me without me realising it?

I realise I should take each step of our relationship and enjoy the moment rather than worry about the future but I'm so sensitive and I built it into my head to end a perfectly good relationship because I thought it was best to end it on good terms instead of worrying that it could end in the future on bad terms.

Thanks.
 
@Navy22 what a thoughtful post, you seem like a very caring sensitive guy. Of course you are you're an INFJ !

Take your time and think things through, talk to her about all the things you've just said here, be as open and honest as you can. I'm in the middle of a separation after a 20 year relationship, it can feel very rough, but life is risk. "It's better to have loved and lost..."

It's your life and your decision, only you can decide what to do.

My only advice would be to say, I still firmly believe Love trumps Fear, every time. We sometimes do terrible stupid things when we're afraid. When we act from Love ? True Love ? Not wild passions, jealous rage, or false 'love'. What we do for true love, is incredible... I hope that's what you've found here. Then you won't have to worry. No matter what the outcome.

Best Wishes,
James
 
Thanks @James, I really appreciate your response and I'm sorry to hear about your situation, as tough as it is which I can only imagine it's great that you have that positive outlook.

I've been as honest as I can with her since I told her and I feel a lot better having told her how I felt. Now it is the hard part making the right decision because I'm so intense I feel it is unfair and selfish of me to continue our relationship if I'm not there emotionally 100%.
 
Thanks @James, I really appreciate your response and I'm sorry to hear about your situation, as tough as it is which I can only imagine it's great that you have that positive outlook.

I've been as honest as I can with her since I told her and I feel a lot better having told her how I felt. Now it is the hard part making the right decision because I'm so intense I feel it is unfair and selfish of me to continue our relationship if I'm not there emotionally 100%.


@Navy22 - no problem, and don't worry I'm ok. I've had some incredible support on here - they're INFJ's so I knew it would be like that. Take your time and you will make the right decision. Sometimes we can a bit too perfectionist as INFJ's, and that can apply to relationships as much as anything. It's good that you're talking honestly, that is what really matters, for both of you.

Best Wishes,
James