Hi everyone!
So here it goes:
I've know this friend (male) for almost 10 years, but I was in a relationship (an abusive one) for 7 years. When I became single, this friend started to approach me and showing a little bit of interest. At first I didn't see it, and when I saw that he might want to ask me out, I saw myself ditching his advances - can't explain... maybe it's an INFJ thing. Besides I always though him to be the flirting type of guy, and so I put my guard towards him.
The thing is: he is very closed. He has more colors than a chameleon, and when he is around someone or in a place which makes him uncomfortable, he closes himself. Sometimes, when I dress up or put makeup on, he looks at me and runs away (this actually happened of New Year's Eve)...
Since October, we have been having dinner alone once a week (work reasons) and we speak a lot about pretty much everything. We look very deeply into each others eyes, and in the last month or so we began touching each other in our conversations. Sometimes he invites me to some of his important events (which I don't know if it is because of our friendship our some love interest in me) and he even shows by surprise in places he knows I am going to be.
The thing is... I haven't been consistent with my signals. Nor has he... even though he is always texting in front of me, he takes a lot of time replying to my texts and returning my calls.
Last week, on his birthday, I gave him a little letter, with a drawing of a doll saying "happy birthday". When I slid it into his pocket, he asked "is this for me to read at home?", as if he was expecting something more intimate and private. He liked the surprise, but looked like he was expecting a little more from me. The next day he invited me and his close friends to have some drinks, which made me really happy, being allowed to enter his inner circle of acquaintances. We spent most of the night fluently speaking, and sometimes we gazed into each others - I was really beautiful that evening. BUT, when we went home, he just disappeared... I was expecting something sweet, like a kiss on the check, and he just said a quick goodbye, and run into his car.
So, we have been in this back and forward thing for almost a year, and it is driving myself insane! I want to get out of the friendzone, but the thought of being rejected always makes me scared and back of!
And his behavior only started to make some kind of sense when I discovered he might be and INFJ too (first I thought he was an INFP, but now I am almost sure he is an INFJ).
Having explained all of this, I would like to ask what is your advise to me: I am willing to approach him more, but I am afraid of getting too much into his space. I also don't want to look like a stalker, or too needy.
Next Friday we are going to have dinner again, and the day after that he is going to have a concert. He hasn't invited me for that one, and I am thinking in appearing there by surprise... but should I? He has already invited me to another one next week (two months ago, and he made sure he wanted me to be there)...
Help?
So here it goes:
I've know this friend (male) for almost 10 years, but I was in a relationship (an abusive one) for 7 years. When I became single, this friend started to approach me and showing a little bit of interest. At first I didn't see it, and when I saw that he might want to ask me out, I saw myself ditching his advances - can't explain... maybe it's an INFJ thing. Besides I always though him to be the flirting type of guy, and so I put my guard towards him.
The thing is: he is very closed. He has more colors than a chameleon, and when he is around someone or in a place which makes him uncomfortable, he closes himself. Sometimes, when I dress up or put makeup on, he looks at me and runs away (this actually happened of New Year's Eve)...
Since October, we have been having dinner alone once a week (work reasons) and we speak a lot about pretty much everything. We look very deeply into each others eyes, and in the last month or so we began touching each other in our conversations. Sometimes he invites me to some of his important events (which I don't know if it is because of our friendship our some love interest in me) and he even shows by surprise in places he knows I am going to be.
The thing is... I haven't been consistent with my signals. Nor has he... even though he is always texting in front of me, he takes a lot of time replying to my texts and returning my calls.
Last week, on his birthday, I gave him a little letter, with a drawing of a doll saying "happy birthday". When I slid it into his pocket, he asked "is this for me to read at home?", as if he was expecting something more intimate and private. He liked the surprise, but looked like he was expecting a little more from me. The next day he invited me and his close friends to have some drinks, which made me really happy, being allowed to enter his inner circle of acquaintances. We spent most of the night fluently speaking, and sometimes we gazed into each others - I was really beautiful that evening. BUT, when we went home, he just disappeared... I was expecting something sweet, like a kiss on the check, and he just said a quick goodbye, and run into his car.
So, we have been in this back and forward thing for almost a year, and it is driving myself insane! I want to get out of the friendzone, but the thought of being rejected always makes me scared and back of!
And his behavior only started to make some kind of sense when I discovered he might be and INFJ too (first I thought he was an INFP, but now I am almost sure he is an INFJ).
Having explained all of this, I would like to ask what is your advise to me: I am willing to approach him more, but I am afraid of getting too much into his space. I also don't want to look like a stalker, or too needy.
Next Friday we are going to have dinner again, and the day after that he is going to have a concert. He hasn't invited me for that one, and I am thinking in appearing there by surprise... but should I? He has already invited me to another one next week (two months ago, and he made sure he wanted me to be there)...
Help?
