INFJ and INFJ Relationship? | INFJ Forum

INFJ and INFJ Relationship?

Sep 22, 2012
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So, I met this guy (also an INFJ) and feel like despite both of us being INFJs, we might be headed down the relationship route.

A brief background...

He is in the same program as me, going for the same career, and we're SO MUCH alike in our ideology and interests.

When we do talk, it's typically a deep nerdy conversation or helping each other out with something (i.e. deciding on a class to take, studying together, etc.) and never really small talk. It can be difficult to initiate conversations with him since he tends to be a bit critical (especially when I talk versus one of our classmates.) Every time I ask someone else a question, he has to add in his answer. He'll be super quiet and not even acknowledge me, then out of the blue start talking about something.

He's super romantic and always tweets mushy quotes and just really sweet things about peace and helping the needy (talk about melting my heart :love: .)

I'm just worried about the whole INFJ+INFJ thing, I hear too much of the same can be difficult to work into a relationship. I'm always a bit nervous about this kind of stuff and he also appears to feel the same. Has anyone had a similar experience and did it work for you?
 
I have not, but I do want to warn you that you will destroy each other mercilessly and utterly if things don't work out well. Best to just friend-zone him. It's in your best interests, since INFJ men are the best platonic besties.
 
I was in an INFJ + INFJ relationship for a short while, if you can trust MBTI to make these kinds of broad generalisations.

It didn't last, it was an emotional roller-coaster and I'm still in a process of trying to work out exactly what I felt at the time. Love? Hmm... Not sure. I think perhaps, I was just so enamoured by finding someone who appeared to understand me in ways that I had previously felt neglected, that I ignored the huge gulf of differences between us and expected too much from the relationship. In hindsight, I see that I was actually trying to discover myself through this person, and in a sense learn to love myself, rather than really establish a lasting relationship. And at times it could be so sickeningly sweet (to the point of being ridiculous on both our parts) that it was always destined to erupt in a big, ugly, disappointing mess sooner or later. :)

If I can give you any advice from my experience - keep your feet on the ground, keep your expressions of affection under control and appreciate the fact that you are possibly different in fundamentals ways. And other than that, enjoy yourself and take it one day at a time. It will either happen or it won't; it will either work out or it won't. You'll still learn something useful from the experience. :)
 
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It could work, give love a chance.