I Think I Scare ENFPs | INFJ Forum

I Think I Scare ENFPs

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by TheBlondest, Sep 22, 2009.

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  1. TheBlondest

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    (WARNING: I fully realize that I am labeling types, and I don't care, I just want to get my thoughts out. So, please, non of the usual "but give the other types a chance" stuff. :) Thanks!)

    ...or they just think I'm stupid.

    This seems unlikely. When I encounter another N I always put on my INTJ mask and refrain from exhibiting my budding romanticism as well as my creativity. This is partly due to having been labeled "dreamer" at a young age and thus never taken seriously and also due to an emotional and mental gutting by an ENTJ I dated when I was 20.

    After the infatuation wore off, he began to pick me apart and start fights simply to rile me etc etc. It bordered on mental/emotional abuse. Eventually he dumped me on Facebook, citing that I was a CHILD. (Yeah). :evil:

    Anywho, any ENFPs out there who find INFJ intimidating or repulsive due to our ability to make judgments or anything else?

    I also find it difficult to get close to ENPF—consistently—with out scaring them away with comparable intellect or w/e. I just don't know, I've had very close female ENFP friends, until they went schitzo-affective on me. Seriously.
    I also dated an ENFP when I was a freshman in college and he had mental issues, too; a model anger management candidate, possessive, controlling and smothering.

    But I seem to frighten ENFP males and non-crazy ENFP females. Why? :confused:

    In my experience, most ENFPs usually pick a new best friend every so often and that person is "the best ever!" But also in my experience some of these "best friends" or "best people" often reveal themselves as the most toolish scum creeping on Earth. ENFP remains unaware of this for a long time. :lalala:

    Presumptuously, I consider myself a person of great integrity, I think that most INFJs would, however, I am beginning to recognize a pattern of sickening superficiality—a world where integrity is "too real" or "scary" and I just can't stand it. :pout:

    (Note: I've dated plenty of stable people, too). :nod:
     
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    #1 TheBlondest, Sep 22, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 22, 2009
  2. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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  3. VH

    VH Variable Hybrid

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    I don't think I've seen it put better.

     
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  4. OP
    TheBlondest

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    Oh please. Because I mentioned that I don't just date/friend mentally unstable people? THAT's Existentialist of me?!?

    I can absolutely say, as an Absolutist, that the former unstable relationships were absolutely unstable, and my stable ones were absolutely stable.

    If I were to have applied wide-eyed subjectivism here, I'd have said something like, "but I can date crazy people because I also date stable people, and crazy people, being people, can be stable too" or something.

    People mentally work with the information they have been given and since none of you know me personally, I felt the need to mention that I don't always find myself in fucked up relationships. It wasn't a justification to my self, as I admit to entering the wrong relationships.

     
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  5. slant

    slant Ruboobie

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    All of my friends are ENFPs. I'm an ENFP magnet. I didn't know you could do something wrong--- I've been trying to get these ENFPs off of me for ages.

    They never sleep, and they'll never leave......

    D:
     
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  6. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Ummmm I don't know what to say do you have the foggiest idea about what might have scared these people off?

    I can offer a couple of hypothesis but nothing more.

    Here are some issues that I have had with INFJs in the past these issues a probably not based on type but I'll shoot.

    I dated an INFJ I broke up with him because he was a compulsive liar. He lied about who he was, I think he was afraid to show his identity. He wanted to b a super popular extravert it was kind of sad.

    Another kid was close friends with me we ended up having a falling out. I am gonna chalk it up to conflict avoidance so any problem she had just festered. She also blamed something on me that wasn't my fault.


    I hate to sound like I am putting the blame on my INFJ friends, I don't think its all there fault, but it is a very long story and I could only tell my side.
    :m187:
     
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  7. Lucifer

    Lucifer Registered User #666

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    Also when first meeting the INFJs I know it can be a bit uncomfortable. Probably because they, I don't know how to describe it it's like they were closed off in their own little world which could be a rather strange place. It also determined there interaction style.

    MAybe

    I dunno

    Perhaps
    :m043:
     
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  8. Indie.J

    Indie.J Community Member

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    I agree. There seems to be something a bit closed off when I meet an ENFP but I know it's pretty much coming from my end of the deal. Uncomfortable is right but I haven't really figured out why I become like that.
     
    #8 Indie.J, Sep 23, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2009
  9. Faye

    Faye ^_^
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    I meant the statement before that.

    this : "Presumptuously, I consider myself a person of great integrity, I think that most INFJs would, however, I am beginning to recognize a pattern of sickening superficiality—a world where integrity is "too real" or "scary" and I just can't stand it. :pout:"
     
    #9 Faye, Sep 23, 2009
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2009
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