Sorry in advance for the big wall of text here.
For the past couple of months I have been working part-time in a temporary job where the supervisor most days is an ENFP, I started out liking and admiring this ENFP very much and hoped that through her I would develop a less strong dislike for the combination of Te, Ne, Fi, Si. However, yet again when relating to ENFPs, I have been left shocked, surprised, sad, confused and disappointed. She has done a number of things which I do not really understand and I feel extremely angry about.
One of these things is that she got a fellow co-worker fired. The ENFP came up with a new system for doing one of the tasks this co-worker usually did but after trying the system, she told the ENFP that she would rather not use that system because it was causing problems, which it indeed was. The ENFP from that day forth started carrying all sorts of petty complaints to the managers and this eventually succeeded in getting the co-worker fired. The day the co-worker got fired, the ENFP sat around with her ISTJ best buddy (ENFPs/INFPs and XSTJs always seem to be able to find each other) and practically laughed about the co-worker being fired. She complained that the co-worker just made her feel bad and so she is glad she is gone.
To me, this just seemed highly immoral (I often find ENFPs highly immoral, and not just morally different from me), she spared no thought for this women's personal interests or that the women was generally an excellent worker, she just cared that the woman had been critical of her or rather her prized system.
This ENFP who is extremely popular and have lots of support from others then sought to get me fired shortly after that and just about succeeded (Sadly for me, I have been transferred to another department). Her attitude turned against me when the ENFP was trying to get another employee to do something that he thought might cause harm to himself professionally but which the ENFP thought would led lead to greater efficiency (this ENFP particular has very strong Te), I made the 'mistake' of agreeing with the other employee that what was being proposed did not seem to be a good idea... bad move on my part apparently. The ENFP also seemed to have been upset with me because I stopped trying to comfort/support her when she burst into tears about her job being stressful. The bursting into tears action was just too much for me to deal with after the sixth time in as many days. She wanted me to supervise the team because while she is extremely good at her job, she hated the stress/anxiety of supervising in a high pressure environment and wanted me to do it instead, I refused and the tears just seemed partially like manipulation to me.
On my last day of the job last week, I would not even tell you what she said when I told her I was leaving, too much anger there.
I understand not liking criticisms, not many people do, but in the face of it, ENFps just seem to become vengeful and self serving without regard for others and I have seen this in just about every ENFP I have had the misfortune of working with. I am just in awe of how far this ENFP would go to get rid of people who made her 'feel' uncomfortable. Their feelings just seem to be everything to them and while they claim to be live and let live people, it just never seem to work out that way in reality. I might be blinded by an ever growing dislike though and as a start to understanding ENFPs, I wonder:
Can ENFPs/INFPs be consistently kind & empathetic to people who they do not like? Or do they consider expressing kindness under those circumstances to be somewhat fake?
Do ENFPs generally reflect on the impact of their actions on people outside of their inner circle?
Are ENFPs and INFPs rather prone to using information that people tell them in confidence against them in certain circumstances or just generally not knowing/not being able to judge when information they are told should remain in confidence?
Also, to those who are very confident about being INFJs, do you ever have this strong sense that your personality is in deep conflict with that of ENFPs? Like your Ni clashes with their Ne but especially like your Fe/Ti is in strong conflict with their Fi/Te. What have you done that was helpful in managing this conflict? I really hate that I have not been able to get along with or trust any ENFP.
For the past couple of months I have been working part-time in a temporary job where the supervisor most days is an ENFP, I started out liking and admiring this ENFP very much and hoped that through her I would develop a less strong dislike for the combination of Te, Ne, Fi, Si. However, yet again when relating to ENFPs, I have been left shocked, surprised, sad, confused and disappointed. She has done a number of things which I do not really understand and I feel extremely angry about.
One of these things is that she got a fellow co-worker fired. The ENFP came up with a new system for doing one of the tasks this co-worker usually did but after trying the system, she told the ENFP that she would rather not use that system because it was causing problems, which it indeed was. The ENFP from that day forth started carrying all sorts of petty complaints to the managers and this eventually succeeded in getting the co-worker fired. The day the co-worker got fired, the ENFP sat around with her ISTJ best buddy (ENFPs/INFPs and XSTJs always seem to be able to find each other) and practically laughed about the co-worker being fired. She complained that the co-worker just made her feel bad and so she is glad she is gone.
To me, this just seemed highly immoral (I often find ENFPs highly immoral, and not just morally different from me), she spared no thought for this women's personal interests or that the women was generally an excellent worker, she just cared that the woman had been critical of her or rather her prized system.
This ENFP who is extremely popular and have lots of support from others then sought to get me fired shortly after that and just about succeeded (Sadly for me, I have been transferred to another department). Her attitude turned against me when the ENFP was trying to get another employee to do something that he thought might cause harm to himself professionally but which the ENFP thought would led lead to greater efficiency (this ENFP particular has very strong Te), I made the 'mistake' of agreeing with the other employee that what was being proposed did not seem to be a good idea... bad move on my part apparently. The ENFP also seemed to have been upset with me because I stopped trying to comfort/support her when she burst into tears about her job being stressful. The bursting into tears action was just too much for me to deal with after the sixth time in as many days. She wanted me to supervise the team because while she is extremely good at her job, she hated the stress/anxiety of supervising in a high pressure environment and wanted me to do it instead, I refused and the tears just seemed partially like manipulation to me.
On my last day of the job last week, I would not even tell you what she said when I told her I was leaving, too much anger there.
I understand not liking criticisms, not many people do, but in the face of it, ENFps just seem to become vengeful and self serving without regard for others and I have seen this in just about every ENFP I have had the misfortune of working with. I am just in awe of how far this ENFP would go to get rid of people who made her 'feel' uncomfortable. Their feelings just seem to be everything to them and while they claim to be live and let live people, it just never seem to work out that way in reality. I might be blinded by an ever growing dislike though and as a start to understanding ENFPs, I wonder:
Can ENFPs/INFPs be consistently kind & empathetic to people who they do not like? Or do they consider expressing kindness under those circumstances to be somewhat fake?
Do ENFPs generally reflect on the impact of their actions on people outside of their inner circle?
Are ENFPs and INFPs rather prone to using information that people tell them in confidence against them in certain circumstances or just generally not knowing/not being able to judge when information they are told should remain in confidence?
Also, to those who are very confident about being INFJs, do you ever have this strong sense that your personality is in deep conflict with that of ENFPs? Like your Ni clashes with their Ne but especially like your Fe/Ti is in strong conflict with their Fi/Te. What have you done that was helpful in managing this conflict? I really hate that I have not been able to get along with or trust any ENFP.
