I believe I am losing touch with reality as most see it.

[Eventhorizon]

I believe I am losing touch with reality as most see it. Depending on your perspective, this could be good, could be bad. From my perspective it means bad because it alienates me further from the easiest way to survive.

Any thoughts?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3hVc2hWYxg

 

[Skarekrow]

I believe I am losing touch with reality as most see it. Depending on your perspective, this could be good, could be bad. From my perspective it means bad because it alienates me further from the easiest way to survive.

Any thoughts?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3hVc2hWYxg

You need to elaborate so huge assumptions aren't made....explain please?

 

[Eventhorizon]

Oh crap. That would take years.
Very simply, my mind is open and has been for a long while in the attempt to find truth. As I have found truth it has led me. I now see humanities generalized concerns as being smaller and smaller less important things. I feel as if I am less aware of me as an “individual” and more aware of me as it pertains to a “greater” whole.

Because in this world people mostly understand the “me” aspect and not the “everything” aspect, I fit into their understanding even less, I am alienated even more as I “awaken” into this new level of consciousness.

Long story short, it makes it more difficult to communicate with people in general and as a result, more difficult to exist within the world. Example, try telling someone that their concern about paying their cable bill in the grand scheme of things is really an insignificant worry.

 

[Cornerstone]

[MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION]

Example, try telling someone that their concern about paying their cable bill in the grand scheme of things is really an insignificant worry.

Why would you tell them that? How can it help them? What alternative can you offer them?

Also, intellectual awareness of these 'truths' are just that. Real awareness is unconscious and requires surrender.
If you are still considering this difficulty your personal burden, you are still being you as you and not you as part of the One.
It's not a bad thing, it just means you are at the beginning of the path and so are in no position to be shaking the perspectives of others.
Shake everything that can be shaken in your own life and if you can handle what is left, I think you will maybe come to exercise greater discretion.

It's natural to be excited about breaking through the most common illusions but the relativity of the material world is no indicator of the 'value' of experience.

Hint: There is value inherent in everything. All experience.

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G

 

[Skarekrow]

Oh crap. That would take years.
Very simply, my mind is open and has been for a long while in the attempt to find truth. As I have found truth it has led me. I now see humanities generalized concerns as being smaller and smaller less important things. I feel as if I am less aware of me as an “individual” and more aware of me as it pertains to a “greater” whole.

Because in this world people mostly understand the “me” aspect and not the “everything” aspect, I fit into their understanding even less, I am alienated even more as I “awaken” into this new level of consciousness.

Long story short, it makes it more difficult to communicate with people in general and as a result, more difficult to exist within the world. Example, try telling someone that their concern about paying their cable bill in the grand scheme of things is really an insignificant worry.

Gotcha....I think that anyone who actually spends the time to ask themselves the question of their own existence has felt what you are feeling now...let me just say it is a difficult mindset to remain in given the demands of this life. It is VERY difficult and I can see why your mind is splitting....I would say to do just what you are doing on here by surrounding yourself with like minded individuals (the small percentage that it is is depressing). From a Buddhist perspective your realizations would not be considered a negative thing this is mainly a failing of western culture in general that was exacerbated by the selfishness and self-centeredness of the Baby Boom generation and now is reflected in their offspring namely the generation that just graduated HS and was told they can do no wrong....they all got trophies even though they didn't win....the instant gratification generation. I for one do not think you are going insane...I think you are one of the few sane people in a world that it is okay to be insane. I'm right there with you. I think it best to continue to push the barriers...even if you have minimal contact with people you will influence them in what I would consider a positive manner. DO you want contact with the general population or are you content to live in seclusion (which I enjoy personally)? I personally do not enjoy speaking with but a few choice people...I'm sure that is a consistent theme with the INFX personality types...there is a collective consciousness out there...they have just about scientifically proven it...tap into it...take the positive things you can from it, stay out of your own head too much...if indeed you say you are reaching this new level then ride it like a wave and don't over analyze it or it absolutely WILL drive you crazy.

 

[Eventhorizon]

[MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION]



Why would you tell them that? How can it help them? What alternative can you offer them?

Also, intellectual awareness of these 'truths' are just that. Real awareness is unconscious and requires surrender.
If you are still considering this difficulty your personal burden, you are still being you as you and not you as part of the One.
It's not a bad thing, it just means you are at the beginning of the path and so are in no position to be shaking the perspectives of others.
Shake everything that can be shaken in your own life and if you can handle what is left, I think you will maybe come to exercise greater discretion.

It's natural to be excited about breaking through the most common illusions but the relativity of the material world is no indicator of the 'value' of experience.

Hint: There is value inherent in everything. All experience.

E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G

Excellent response. Thank you.

For contemplation. If the path is infinite in nature, the beginning and the end are the same as there can be no distinction between the two.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Gotcha....I think that anyone who actually spends the time to ask themselves the question of their own existence has felt what you are feeling now...let me just say it is a difficult mindset to remain in given the demands of this life. It is VERY difficult and I can see why your mind is splitting....I would say to do just what you are doing on here by surrounding yourself with like minded individuals (the small percentage that it is is depressing). From a Buddhist perspective your realizations would not be considered a negative thing this is mainly a failing of western culture in general that was exacerbated by the selfishness and self-centeredness of the Baby Boom generation and now is reflected in their offspring namely the generation that just graduated HS and was told they can do no wrong....they all got trophies even though they didn't win....the instant gratification generation. I for one do not think you are going insane...I think you are one of the few sane people in a world that it is okay to be insane. I'm right there with you. I think it best to continue to push the barriers...even if you have minimal contact with people you will influence them in what I would consider a positive manner. DO you want contact with the general population or are you content to live in seclusion (which I enjoy personally)? I personally do not enjoy speaking with but a few choice people...I'm sure that is a consistent theme with the INFX personality types...there is a collective consciousness out there...they have just about scientifically proven it...tap into it...take the positive things you can from it, stay out of your own head too much...if indeed you say you are reaching this new level then ride it like a wave and don't over analyze it or it absolutely WILL drive you crazy.

Do I WANT contact with the general population... good question. The thing is, I dont enjoy my own company that much. I dont enjoy my own thoughts that much but, its not like I enjoy others any more or less. I value intellect, at being able to derive truth from my surroundings but I cant say it has led to any great thing. Part of me really believes ignorance is bliss but at the same time if someone came to me tomorrow, confirmed that ignorance was bliss and offered to give it to me, I would refuse. I am a walking paradox or at least feel that way.

The age old struggle of trying to find worth and purpose. The more I learn, the further I seem to get from that answer. I keep asking the people around me but they all look at me as if I am crazy or simply change the subject. All the books that have ever been written, people give their ideas on it but none ever come close to an actual answer.

"Split," is an excellent word.

 

[Skarekrow]

Do I WANT contact with the general population... good question. The thing is, I dont enjoy my own company that much. I dont enjoy my own thoughts that much but, its not like I enjoy others any more or less. I value intellect, at being able to derive truth from my surroundings but I cant say it has led to any great thing. Part of me really believes ignorance is bliss but at the same time if someone came to me tomorrow, confirmed that ignorance was bliss and offered to give it to me, I would refuse. I am a walking paradox or at least feel that way.

The age old struggle of trying to find worth and purpose. The more I learn, the further I seem to get from that answer. I keep asking the people around me but they all look at me as if I am crazy or simply change the subject. All the books that have ever been written, people give their ideas on it but none ever come close to an actual answer.

"Split," is an excellent word.

Perhaps that is your burden to bear....maybe you are the one that will write the book to explain the reasons why...do not discount that. I completely get what you are saying I think as much as someone else can understand what another is thinking or feeling...I can only relate with my own thoughts and feelings on the subject.
At the age of 19 I attempted suicide...for just those reasons that you outlined...I didn't see myself EVER finding the niche that I belonged in....I'm not going to tell you that it is there now, because it isn't...I still don't relate to most people....I still feel like an outsider looking in...I still struggle with my own thoughts on the nature of life....and I honestly believe that purpose/meaning is individual to each person if indeed an actual "reason" exists at all. I was in the hospital for a few days....the police found me passed out from blood loss in my car on a random street....they sent me to the looney bin for a week after the hospital...it was a joke. Then it was several different drugs such as Lithium that numbed my brain and made me twitch strangely....lololol. The thing was, I wasn't depressed...I just didn't want my life to continue.....does that make sense? I was sad yes, I was sad to hurt my family and friends at the time...but not sad for myself. So now I am 36....I have many more reasons NOW to off myself but I know that I won't simply because I have a strong belief that the purpose of this life is for me to live it. And we all just do the best we can and try not to scream and go insane and leave our jobs and families...or go on a shotgun rampage....find a shoulder to lean on....I thought I would never find anyone....twice divorced btw...
Find an outlet....mine is my music...I can just listen and enjoy without thinking....just listening....
I feel I've gone off on a strange tangent...
The purpose for this life is there....but perhaps it has not been revealed to you yet....when you stop searching it will find you

 

[Bikerdelic]

It is something to see the outside for the first time, and realise that the out and the in are the same thing, but it is also an everyday experience that many folk overlook without knowing.
It is like meditation, if you do not cling to thoughts, then in between there arises moments of calm tranquillity and a feeling of oneness with the universe, but as soon as one tries to grasp or cling onto that moment or consciousness, it pops like a bubble. So relax and try not to grasp the butterfly of your mind, and just observe its beauty.

 

[ThisIsWhoIAm]

Do I WANT contact with the general population... good question. The thing is, I dont enjoy my own company that much. I dont enjoy my own thoughts that much but, its not like I enjoy others any more or less. I value intellect, at being able to derive truth from my surroundings but I cant say it has led to any great thing. Part of me really believes ignorance is bliss but at the same time if someone came to me tomorrow, confirmed that ignorance was bliss and offered to give it to me, I would refuse. I am a walking paradox or at least feel that way.

The age old struggle of trying to find worth and purpose. The more I learn, the further I seem to get from that answer. I keep asking the people around me but they all look at me as if I am crazy or simply change the subject. All the books that have ever been written, people give their ideas on it but none ever come close to an actual answer.

"Split," is an excellent word.

I wouldn't say ignorance is bliss; i do however, say, feeling and experiencing not through our logic but through excitement or curiosity is pretty close to, and sometimes, bliss.

To be able to have an experience free of fear, free of doubt. Even if it's just looking at the clouds, or enjoying a cup of coffee.

Also, about the detached from reality thing:

A person would say reality is what he believes to be true. Most people only reach a relatively shallow grasp of reality, and put their heads in the sand when there are things that seem complex, challenging, and different.

I wouldn't say you are losing grasp of reality, i would say you might be losing grasp of the material reality, while gaining grasp of some levels in the spiritual reality.
The best way to live for me at least, that i have found so far after quite a few years of searching, reading books, meditating, learning and talking to all kinds of interesting people, is living in the material world and the spiritual world. Sometimes here, sometimes there. Sometimes you want to enjoy a nice cup of coffee, or beer, or a good meal. Sometimes you want to have deep life-changing experiences through meditation or going for a few days to nature. Sometimes you want clean dishes to be able to cook and eat that good meal and cup of coffee, so you clean them. Sometimes you want to practice your will power and self control, to be able to go deeper in your meditations in order to be able to reach these life-changing experiences.

Also, sometimes speaking to a friend you love, might make you feel better, even if it's the cable bills you're talking about. If the person has good energy and loves you as well, you will feel it and it will empower you.

Most people in this world are probably not ready to do this journey you (we) are going through. Whoever wants to join along, you can welcome, and whoever doesn't want to, you can accept that he/she is not ready yet, and maybe will never be. You will always have the cable bills for such occasions

 

[Eventhorizon]

Perhaps that is your burden to bear....maybe you are the one that will write the book to explain the reasons why...do not discount that. I completely get what you are saying I think as much as someone else can understand what another is thinking or feeling...I can only relate with my own thoughts and feelings on the subject.
At the age of 19 I attempted suicide...for just those reasons that you outlined...I didn't see myself EVER finding the niche that I belonged in....I'm not going to tell you that it is there now, because it isn't...I still don't relate to most people....I still feel like an outsider looking in...I still struggle with my own thoughts on the nature of life....and I honestly believe that purpose/meaning is individual to each person if indeed an actual "reason" exists at all. I was in the hospital for a few days....the police found me passed out from blood loss in my car on a random street....they sent me to the looney bin for a week after the hospital...it was a joke. Then it was several different drugs such as Lithium that numbed my brain and made me twitch strangely....lololol. The thing was, I wasn't depressed...I just didn't want my life to continue.....does that make sense? I was sad yes, I was sad to hurt my family and friends at the time...but not sad for myself. So now I am 36....I have many more reasons NOW to off myself but I know that I won't simply because I have a strong belief that the purpose of this life is for me to live it. And we all just do the best we can and try not to scream and go insane and leave our jobs and families...or go on a shotgun rampage....find a shoulder to lean on....I thought I would never find anyone....twice divorced btw...
Find an outlet....mine is my music...I can just listen and enjoy without thinking....just listening....
I feel I've gone off on a strange tangent...
The purpose for this life is there....but perhaps it has not been revealed to you yet....when you stop searching it will find you

Good points.

Recently I have been made aware of "my" importance to others. It is a difficult concept for me to accept and understand. I have gone through much of my life believing that interacting less with things means I affect them less. Yet somehow my influence spans years and distance.

Suicide... I do not judge on this. I have thought about it as an option but do not believe I ever thought about it in serious terms. When I was younger I may have "unknowingly" attempted it with all the stupid things I did but Im not sure if they were done from ignorance or with a death wish. I know now, my instinct for survival even out weights living in a hell I couldnt even imagine a few years ago. I believe I survived something I probably should not have. Something that was so bad, I cant even put it into words. Yet here I am, sick still but able to live my life.

Thank you for sharing that part of you. I do find value in a person willing to expose parts of themselves in the attempt to help another.

 

[Eventhorizon]

It is something to see the outside for the first time, and realise that the out and the in are the same thing, but it is also an everyday experience that many folk overlook without knowing.
It is like meditation, if you do not cling to thoughts, then in between there arises moments of calm tranquillity and a feeling of oneness with the universe, but as soon as one tries to grasp or cling onto that moment or consciousness, it pops like a bubble. So relax and try not to grasp the butterfly of your mind, and just observe its beauty.

Like trying to see the detail of something out of the corner of your eye.

 

[Skarekrow]

Good points.

Recently I have been made aware of "my" importance to others. It is a difficult concept for me to accept and understand. I have gone through much of my life believing that interacting less with things means I affect them less. Yet somehow my influence spans years and distance.

Suicide... I do not judge on this. I have thought about it as an option but do not believe I ever thought about it in serious terms. When I was younger I may have "unknowingly" attempted it with all the stupid things I did but Im not sure if they were done from ignorance or with a death wish. I know now, my instinct for survival even out weights living in a hell I couldnt even imagine a few years ago. I believe I survived something I probably should not have. Something that was so bad, I cant even put it into words. Yet here I am, sick still but able to live my life.

Thank you for sharing that part of you. I do find value in a person willing to expose parts of themselves in the attempt to help another.

I have a step-son from my marriage...he was only two when we married....I still remember the first time I held his hand in my own...even though this child technically was not my own, he was my own for some reason....I was meant to be his Father. And I have been....he is now 9 years old, and I treat him as my own flesh and blood. I couldn't imagine not having him in my life....that is just one of the meanings of my life. There are others...namely my wonderful girlfriend....I couldn't make it without her.
She is another of my meanings. There are meanings out there...you have to search because that is our nature....but they will come to you when the universe sees fit.
Just be patient.

 

[Kgal]

Oh crap. That would take years.
Very simply, my mind is open and has been for a long while in the attempt to find truth. As I have found truth it has led me. I now see humanities generalized concerns as being smaller and smaller less important things. I feel as if I am less aware of me as an “individual” and more aware of me as it pertains to a “greater” whole.

Because in this world people mostly understand the “me” aspect and not the “everything” aspect, I fit into their understanding even less, I am alienated even more as I “awaken” into this new level of consciousness.

Long story short, it makes it more difficult to communicate with people in general and as a result, more difficult to exist within the world. Example, try telling someone that their concern about paying their cable bill in the grand scheme of things is really an insignificant worry.

I can relate to most of what you say here. Lately I've been taking a step back and looking at what I resonate most with as it seems to be opposite of the majority. These days I feel soooo alone and I wonder if I am on the right path. Then when I ask my heart if I'm doing the right things I get a resounding Yes! So if I am going insane - it appears I am meant to go insane in order to find joy. For that is where my joy lies. I have stated to a few who understand - that it feels as if I have one foot in the material world and one foot in the non material world. Do you understand my meaning? Currently it's difficult for me to move with ease between those two "worlds".

I have been searching for my tribe....those who know intuitively what I'm trying to grasp about myself. I need a mentor/teacher who will listen to me ramble on about all of the weird thoughts and experiences I've been having lately. As an INFJ I need to understand them in order to integrate them in my mind. I also really need to be reassured I am ok. 99% of the people in my life have no clue as to what I'm talking about. So I think I understand where you're coming from.

As for those people - I watch them struggle with materialism and old outdated ways - and my heart goes out to them. They are only doing the best they can and the only appropriate response is love. And that is what I do - mostly - is just love them.

 

[Tin Man]

I believe I am losing touch with reality as most see it.

Right there with you buddy.

 

[Eventhorizon]

I can relate to most of what you say here. Lately I've been taking a step back and looking at what I resonate most with as it seems to be opposite of the majority. These days I feel soooo alone and I wonder if I am on the right path. Then when I ask my heart if I'm doing the right things I get a resounding Yes! So if I am going insane - it appears I am meant to go insane in order to find joy. For that is where my joy lies. I have stated to a few who understand - that it feels as if I have one foot in the material world and one foot in the non material world. Do you understand my meaning? Currently it's difficult for me to move with ease between those two "worlds".

I have been searching for my tribe....those who know intuitively what I'm trying to grasp about myself. I need a mentor/teacher who will listen to me ramble on about all of the weird thoughts and experiences I've been having lately. As an INFJ I need to understand them in order to integrate them in my mind. I also really need to be reassured I am ok. 99% of the people in my life have no clue as to what I'm talking about. So I think I understand where you're coming from.

As for those people - I watch them struggle with materialism and old outdated ways - and my heart goes out to them. They are only doing the best they can and the only appropriate response is love. And that is what I do - mostly - is just love them.

Yes, I get your meaning very well. I feel as if I am becoming thinner, lighter less here. I also feel like I am falling down a pit, reaching out for a hand hold but not finding any. Frappin rabbit hole. I dont think there are mentors. I because anyone in this situation couldnt say they "know" only that they understand or dont. So there would only be support groups. Sometimes I wonder if I died many years ago and this whole time, my experience after that is only transitioning me into a new awareness.

 

[Skarekrow]

Sometimes I wonder if I died many years ago and this whole time, my experience after that is only transitioning me into a new awareness.

Perhaps you did if you believe in past lives? If you do believe that our energy continues on when we die then you have to also give some weight to the possibility. Maybe there is some past karma that is holding you back? Ever have vivid dreams of being someone else? Ever have knowledge of a person or place that you really shouldn't have? You should shell out $60 or so and go see a past life hypnotist and see what happens...all you have to lose is $60 and a couple of hours, but you may gain a greater understanding of what is going on.

 

[sprinkles]

I understand you and relate.

Keep experiencing, you're not done yet. Just keep that in mind and you'll elevate even more yet, and come back around into alignment so that you still have this awareness, but the alienation disappears as well.

 

[Skarekrow]

The INFJ is also the most mind-body disconnected of all the types [MENTION=8603]Eventhorizon[/MENTION] often feeling as if they are in two places at once....our heads can often be in the clouds, we can be considered "mystical" much to our own ego's enjoyment It just takes time and personal effort to reach a peace between the two... I cannot honestly say that I have reached it personally but I do believe it exists. It is our own personal burden....and although you have not found a mentor, and yes you could call this a support group...at least you are not alone in this ideal to be attained. You should take some solace in that.

 

[Sensiko]

i feel i've lost touch with the world/human race/my life all the time... i can't really remember feeling any different... even as a little kid i didn't believe my parents were my real parents and somewhere there was a secret place where i was really from... i think that's a pretty common infx mindset... i still have this recurring thought that seems to pop in my head whenever things are going really well or really badly where i'm really a patient in an insane asylum somewhere locked away in a padded room with a coloring book and all of this "reality" is just a life i make up in my head... life as i know it is just some coping strategy... the ultimate imagery... lol... it's good you're searching for the answers... try to find something that grounds you... something to do with the mind/body connection will help... bikram yoga helps ground me and continues to expand my awareness/perception... and its okay to not know your purpose... if you're lucky you may find it but it's all about the journey, right?