How To End A Relationship Wisely? | INFJ Forum

How To End A Relationship Wisely?

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sweetso

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Mar 18, 2010
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Hi, Have you ever think how to end a relationship because of some troubles?

Most of people want to end their relationship because of high pressure and emotion, and then they will realize and feel sorry for that.

Any suggestions or experiences How To End A Relationship Wisely? Let us share here
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Personally, I've haven't ended many relationships because I felt if I had I was being a failure and not trying hard enough.

To be completely honest, I've ended four relationships. One was because I felt physically threatened. The other three was because I felt emotionally threatened.

I did not end them in very nice ways. I just cut them off. I don't know if that was wise, but it worked.
 
Tell them, without lying about anything.
You don't need to hurt them, but lying would only make it worse.
 
The Jester said:
Tell them, without lying about anything.
You don't need to hurt them, but lying would only make it worse.
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^^^This^^^

And then don't drag it out, and lead them on. If you're ending it, end it. Keep it ended. If you play with their emotions, or feed their fantasies of getting back together, you're only hurting them more.
 
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-observes-
 
it took me a lot of years to end my marriage because there wasn't anything dangerous about the relationship. it felt selfish to end it just because it wasn't working emotionally for us anymore. and also with kids involved. it turned out to be the right decision though.

i don't even remember who bill ferguson is. i got this from some website while i was beginning my divorce and it helped me to keep my values through a hard time.
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Bill Ferguson:

There may be times when it seems easier to come from the anger instead of the love, but it just doesn't work. When you get angry, look at the truth. You are angry, but you still love the person. It's okay to be angry. It's just not an effective way to relate. Remember:
* It's okay to love someone and to know that you do not want to live with the person.
* It's okay to love someone and be hurt.
* It's just a matter of telling the truth.

What hurts the most is to love someone, and then think you should be angry and judgemental in order to justify wanting to end the way your relationship is currently.

Action to Take:

* Notice that under all the hurt and upset, you still love the other person. You may not want to live with the person; but under the hurt, the love is still there.
* Let go of your dreams for how it could have been. Be willing to feel the hurt and the loss. Don't fight the hurt or run from it. Allow it. Cry if you can.
* Look beyond the other person's anger and see his or her hurt. Then look beyond that person's hurt and see the love that he or she still has for you.
* Interact with the other person out of the love that's there instead of the anger and upset.
* You can operate from love and still tell the truth about how your needs have changed.
 
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