How Resilient Are You?

Rycka

Rycka

Regular Poster
MBTI
INFJ
" Ouch...my body! " , said You. " I don't know what has happened, but... will I be okay? "

Nurse stared at the dark horizon for awhile before turning her gaze upon you and with teary eyes said:

" Miss/Mr... sorry to be the one to tell you the bad news, but... everything you had is gone now. Your family is

dead and so are... your legs. You won't be walking anymore. "



Stress and change are part of life. They're unavoidable. Resilience by itself is an interesting phenomenon,

which can make all the difference, when it comes to recovery after misfortune.

The question is: how do you deal with adversity and change? How resilient are you?
 
Adversity and change are my norm, so simply from years of practice I tend to have a higher baseline of resilience than others.

I mean if I lost all my family and my legs...Even just thinking about it I have multiple scenarios that are popping in my head of what I could do depending upon the circumstances of said losses.
 
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@Asa...are you looking for any type of story in particular...I've quite a few, but am hesitant to dominate a thread least it deter others from sharing or cause others to pity me .... maybe I can post some in my gournal post if I've any that might provide insight to others.
 
@Asa, it's not so much that I ever want to share...more like I feel compelled to share since it's easier for me than most and it helps people realize they are not alone in some of their pains. My other board has exponentially more posters who are more simmilar to me than this board so I don't know if it would be helpful to share the realities of things like not being a naturally maternal mother, surviving rape, identifying and escaping abuse, and all the ick they never tell you about childbirth.
 
Jet said:
it's not so much that I ever want to share...more like I feel compelled to share since it's easier for me than most and it helps people realize they are not alone in some of their pains
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I think everything you mentioned is worth discussing and will help others.
 
I have particular nightmare scenarios that I think would be particularly unbearable. Being locked up in a mental institution and not being able to get out. Being imprisoned, having a serious physical injury or disability. I suppose all of those are the same in that they all involve a loss of freedom of some sort. Physical or tangible imprisonment is my nightmare place. Having said that though so many different trials and difficulties happen in life and it is amazing the resilience people have. Working as a carer I have met some really amazing and courageous people, and also others who in difficult circumstances haven't handled things so well.
Hopefully if one of the dreaded things on my list happened to me I would be able to find some resilience to cope. We are stronger that we think and sometimes don't know it until were in that really difficult situation up against the wall. I like that Victor Frankel quote about people having the freedom to respond and choose free will. People can't rob you of your soul even in prison. Some people have amazing enlightened experiences while going through some sort of incarceration or deep trial.

One of my favourite books, or at least, one that has affected me greatly was 'If This is a Man' by Primo Levi. It talks about his experience at Auschwitz when he was a prisoner of war. Some of the descriptions of people's humanity and courage are really incredible and unbelievably inspiring. I think the point about holding onto humanity in the grimmest circumstances is right. Primo describes a particular state that some of the prisoners fall into - when they are so starving they no longer have the presence of mind to carry on sharing their food, (or resources). They loose their humanity, they become 'musselmen' (I don't know what it means). but basically they loose the human spark inside, and from that moment on they start becoming weak, and quickly fade away and die.

If in our darkest hour we can still have that human spark inside, for our own sake or for the love of another- then probably we can endure just about anything.
 
Almost 2 years ago now I suffered through a miscarriage. It was an unwanted and "accidental" (I put that in quotes because come to find out EX was poking holes in condoms to try and get me preggo again in hopes that it would convince me to stay) and while there was a great bit of relief when I painfully passed the child that was not meant to be ... a huge part of me felt broken. I had just come to accept the fact that I was once again going to be a mother, a task at which I struggle with, when it happened. I think it would have been easier to remain in denial.

Ex told me if I had really loved and wanted the baby it would have made it...it would have made us a family again ..... I know that is complete and utter bullshit but at the same time I will always be slightly haunted by the child that was not meant to be.
 
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