My boyfriend is an ENTP/INTJ. He falls somewhere in between depending on what kind of situations he's in. On paper he and I were perfect for each other. Friends for 10 years, spent a lot of time together, so when it came down to it and went on a few days he shot me down hard. Fast forward five years and we have been together a year now and everything is amazing. Maybe you two are incompatible at the moment because you both have growing up to do. That was the case for my boyfriend and I.
Yeah, I understand that.
I just find it so disappointing. I never really built THAT much of an emotional attachment to her, but on paper, we ARE perfect. Yes, we have similar interests, but we also have similar (almost identical) views on life, philosophy, God, similar ambitions, want the same things out of life, etc.
14 months is 5% of my entire LIFE. I can't spend any more time on her right now. I've told her, "look, I tried the 'just friends' thing with you, but with a heavy heart, I have to say it's a role I cannot play in your life, which sucks because I genuinely REALLY like you as a person."
As she essentially told me that we wanted the SAME exact things out of life (saying "I JUST had this conversation with my best friend last night and I was telling her the same exact thing"), I told her "and this is why you saying we aren't romantically compatible confuses me." She replied, "there are a LOT of girls that want the same things too."
At this point, I've sort of given her the boot from my life. She has my phone number, and we are still friends on Facebook, but I won't be contacting her. I made my intentions clear, the ball is completely in her court.
I just have trouble understanding how we go on a date, both have a WONDERFUL time (lots of laughs, jokes, it was the best first date I've ever been on -- I even remember telling myself 'if it doesn't workout with this girl, God she's cool, I wish I was capable of being her friend') and then I ask her for a 2nd date, I get a decline. Very confusing to me.
She's the most definite ENTP you'd find. Never would I EVER doubt her type. Very strong Fe too.
I'm an INFJ/INTJ, depending on the situation.
She was, apparently, chasing the same guy for a couple of years, and was coming to terms with "it just isn't going to happen." She went to Latin America with a friend for the month of January, and she told me it changed her, she felt like it was rehab. She got a new perspective on things (especially this boy) and how "chasing" someone is ridiculous. When I told her how I felt, she told me I should do the same program as her and it'll "help me" like it helped her.
I do believe this trip helped her out, but I don't think this trip gave her a sudden insight on "this is how relationships are SUPPOSED to be." We hung out 4 times. First time, we almost had sex (I rejected her b/c I sensed that I was being used as a piece of man meat and she had feelings for her "best friend" who effectively friend-zoned her), second time she had a concussion, third time we drove around for half an hour, and then the date (which she told me she was unaware was a 'date' despite my calling it so AT LEAST 3 times to her -- it also ended after only slightly an hour because she had a thesis meeting). I don't think anywhere in that was there an opportunity to build these "sparks" that would create the "romantic compatibility" she says we don't have.
Just going to go on living life and see where the Universe will take me. If it was meant to be, it'll be. I'm ending the chapter on her though. If she wants to pick up the pen and write some more, that's up to her.
