Honest question for this community: what would actually make an online INFJ space feel safe to you?

[textpest]

I've spent a while in different INFJ spaces online — Facebook groups, a couple of subreddits, forums like this one — and I keep noticing the same pattern: they're either wide open, where anyone can join and there's not much stopping bad actors from wandering in, or they've quietly gone dead because nobody feels safe enough to actually say anything real.

I'm curious whether that's just my own experience, or something a lot of you have run into too.

A few honest questions, if you're willing to share:

• Have you ever left an INFJ group or community because it stopped feeling safe or trustworthy — too public, too easy for the wrong people to get in, too much low-effort noise?
• What would actually make an online space feel safe enough that you'd let your guard down in it? A vetting or approval step before joining? A smaller group size? Something else entirely?
• Has anything ever made you trust a stranger-run online community, versus being wary of it by default?
• If a space asked for a small barrier to entry — not to profit off members, but specifically to filter out people who aren't serious — would that read as reasonable to you, or as a red flag?

Not trying to sell anything here — genuinely trying to understand whether this is a real gap, or something I'm projecting from my own experience. Curious what this community thinks, since you all clearly know what you're looking for in a space like this better than most.

 

[Umai]

I'm not a actually an infj but I think the 100- post minimum for the blogs just about does the trick, together with the expected etiquette for that section. And my blog has the added security feature of being pretty boring which keeps most people away anyway.

 

[Erik Alberto]

Hi @textpest—welcome.

I’ve been here since 2022. This is the only INFJ group I’ve been involved in.

I think the 100- post minimum for the blogs just about does the trick,

Yup—it’s genius.

Also, we have great admins that are invested. I have seen a lot of wisdom from them in how things have been handled.

I think every place goes through different seasons though. When there’s even just one “bad actor” it can really impact the general vibe. Also, when there is an influx of people of different typologies, dynamics can shift a lot. I haven’t been here long, but I’ve seen things cycle and then come to homeostasis more than once.

What about you @textpest, have you had any positive experiences with an online community where you have felt safe enough to share from your heart? Are you willing to invest somewhere? Are you primarily interested in research?

Regards,

Erik

 

[Ginny]

Have you ever left an INFJ group or community because it stopped feeling safe or trustworthy — too public, too easy for the wrong people to get in, too much low-effort noise?

Yes, this one. It's not that it changed, but it got to me, so I had to get away for a time.

Has anything ever made you trust a stranger-run online community, versus being wary of it by default?

Openness, humor and vulnerability. Ability to lurk, at least in the public area. Over there it used to have a lot of play and lively banter. That there is a non-public area just for members is a good thing.

If a space asked for a small barrier to entry — not to profit off members, but specifically to filter out people who aren't serious — would that read as reasonable to you, or as a red flag?

Red flag, obviously. The INTJ forum is an example of that, from what I heard of.

 

[Asa]

Things that make me feel unsafe include new users who run AI-powered marketing companies asking questions about unsafe communities in a community space meant for exploring ideas, emotions, and healing.

 

[Erik Alberto]

^ I’m glad you said that, @Asa. I had an emotional reaction at the outset.

 

[Fruiteloop]

Like anywhere else some things you need to avoid saying depending of the person / group.

Its like if you know it will upset people you are aware but other times people can be unaware, a balance needs to be taken.