HELP WANTED (Ads that make you go "Hmmmm"...)

[Seraffa]

Fish Sitter (Pocono Lake)

Date: 2011-05-04, 6:18AM EDT


Person experienced in salt water fish care. Need someone to check in on my fish from time to time.

Must be knowledgeable about salt water fish and provide references.

• Location: Pocono Lake
• Compensation: to be determined
• This is a part-time job.

"Compensation to be determined" is what has me stumped here....

I don't know about the other guy, but I'd have a damn good fish fry in my neighborhood if something was amiss on my payroll.....

 

[Detective Conan]

NEED AN ENGLISH TUTOR

We are looking for someone who is genuinely passionate for teaching children and understand well how to interact with children and manage classroom independently Teaching experience isn't necessary, but a natural ability to teach in a fun and creative way is a must, and we prefer a Bi-lingual but not mandatory.

We are located in [my state here].
We look forward to hearing from you.
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This ad makes me think the poster/s are looking for tutoring in areas other than English

 

[Seraffa]

genuinely passionate for teaching children and understand well how to interact with children and manage classroom independently Teaching

They almost got it right....I have to hand it to them....

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Lol references to take care of ur fish...

 

[Seraffa]

Free Stuff

Two tires (Kingston)

Date: 2011-05-05, 1:06PM EDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxx


I know nothing about these... They are in my backyard, but no one remembers them. I don't know if they are any good, or they could be used as planters.

• Location: Kingston
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[Seraffa]

Teams needed (Pittston, Pa)

Date: 2011-05-06, 2:35PM EDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxx


Team's needed to run to the coast. Many miles.

• Location: Pittston, Pa
• Compensation: by the mile

 

[Lerxst]

I kid you not....

"Major Magazine Needs Skilled Writers To Edit/Proofread Work..."

The ad went on and on, but I cringed at the first line alone. My brain can only process so many capital letters per sentence and this one used it up. Apparently they really DO need an editor!