Getting to know your significant other inside out | INFJ Forum

Getting to know your significant other inside out

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by floatingbridge, Jun 20, 2013.

Share This Page

More threads by floatingbridge
  1. floatingbridge

    floatingbridge Life's a ride
    Donor

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2009
    Threads:
    54
    Messages:
    1,557
    Likes Received:
    319
    Trophy Points:
    642
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Is this a necessary part of a healthy relationship?

    Will it inevitably happen with time?

    Can INFJs still keep a part to themselves completely closed off, and mysterious?

    What do married/ long-term relationship INFJs have to say on this particularly?

    I see sometimes couples get bored of each other, and isn't the keeping the mystery part a solution to it?
     
  2. Sriracha

    Sriracha Not here.
    Banned

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2011
    Threads:
    98
    Messages:
    3,458
    Likes Received:
    1,912
    Trophy Points:
    375
    MBTI:
    ISFJ
    I don't think it's necessary. Mr.Sriracha often says he wished he knew what was going on in my head. The truth is ... he pretty much already knows everything, I just throw him off to keep it interesting. lol

    Just because you are married doesn't mean you need to bear all your secrets ... well only if they are not damaging the relationship. There are things Mr.Sriracha doesn't know and will never know (that happened in the past) ... I'll take those things to my grave.
     
    floatingbridge likes this.
  3. CindyLou

    CindyLou Get over it

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2011
    Threads:
    49
    Messages:
    3,189
    Featured Threads:
    3
    Likes Received:
    5,379
    Trophy Points:
    932
    Gender:
    Female
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    6w5
    I don't think it would happen inevitably. It's too hard to be completely honest and open with ourselves let alone someone else.

    I've never gotten bored with anyone. I've never made it past ten years but I think that's still considered long term.
     
  4. ruji

    ruji Well-known member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2009
    Threads:
    29
    Messages:
    17,393
    Featured Threads:
    4
    Likes Received:
    55,737
    Trophy Points:
    3,257
    MBTI:
    .
    It's been my experience that Js "know" you well from a very narrow perspective.
    Just wanted to make you feel bad.
     
  5. this is only temporary

    this is only temporary Community Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2011
    Threads:
    2
    Messages:
    602
    Likes Received:
    96
    Trophy Points:
    0
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    1

    Some people need a bit of space and privacy -- if you love them, you should respect that fact. Don't force them to talk, or force them to open up more than they are comfortable doing. Allow them to be themselves, and you be yourself, with your own interests. I've sometimes gotten too up in people's business, and would be happy being pretty much tied at the hip when I love someone, and that's not necessarily a good thing. You do get to know a person so well you can practically read his mind, however.

    To me, it's not a matter of mystery or keeping secrets, so much as it is a matter of being fully functioning individuals as well as a couple, or a team, really, is how I like to think of it.
     
  6. JGirl

    JGirl no chocolate flavored gum? wow

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2011
    Threads:
    47
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    1,213
    Trophy Points:
    370
    MBTI:
    INFJ
    Enneagram:
    5
    i don't think it's necessary, and really i don't think it's possible anyway. we can predict reactions and behaviours of our significant others after a time, merely from being exposed to them for so long, but to know someone inside out? nah, i don't think so.
    i am very private, even when in a relationship, and there are things no one will ever know about me. not because they are necessarily bad things, just that they are mine.
     
  7. Gaze

    Donor

    Joined:
    Sep 5, 2009
    Threads:
    2,380
    Messages:
    28,271
    Featured Threads:
    93
    Likes Received:
    22,774
    Trophy Points:
    1,906
    MBTI:
    INFPishy
    Is this a necessary part of a healthy relationship? Will it inevitably happen with time?
    - I am not sure it's necessary to know everything about your partner in a relationship. I do agree that mystery can keep it interesting, but this doesn't mean you shouldn't communicate with your partner. Depending on the type of mystery, problems can arise because a partner may feel betrayed by somethings not being revealed. Each couple is different though. What's a good amount of openness for one couple may be too little or too much for another. I think it varies. I prefer openness that way I don't have to guess. On the other hand, I like people who keep a little something for themselves- makes them interesting when they don't make everything about themselves immediately available for discovery. I guess after being with a partner for a long time, you will lose some of that mystery and possibly romance but in the end, it depends on what you want in the relationship over the long term. There are couples who know everything about each other and that gives them a stronger and deeper love for each other. Others, find themselves feeling more distance the more they know about their partner. Depends on the person and their personality. If someone feels forced to reveal things about themselves before they are ready, this can create a sense of discomfort and distrust. But not revealing much and expecting your partner to be happy with that, even when your partner deserves to know, can also be a huge problem.
     
    Stop hovering to collapse... Click to collapse... Hover to expand... Click to expand...
Loading...

Share This Page