Feel much?

"How doesn't it affect me?" would be a better question...

 

I don't.

So i'd say there's a minimal effect.

 

I love writing about how feelings affect a situation, but to write about my own emotions, for the sake of expressing what I am feeling at the moment feels like trying to catch the wind, for no sooner do I reach for it than it has long passed. It's almost as if I understand my own emotions through the emotions of other people, the way they react to me reflects how I may come across to them. When something touches my soul I have to find meaning. The birth of my daughters affected me deeply. I had tears in my eyes and it gave me a renewed sense of purpose in life. But as the my eyes watered, I could not help but think how precious the moment was and how beautiful life is. I find that my feelings are intimately connected to the meanings I derive from them. So when I write about meaning, I am also writing about feeling too. Some people can write about their feelings and in those feelings, meanings can blossom, while other people write about meanings, and in those meanings, feelings can blossom. I tend to fall in the former.

 

Whenever an emotion comes on strong it disrupts my ability to think.

When this happens at work - it trips me up. Being around people in pain - in crisis and in hopeless situations where you know there will be no help sometimes brings on strong emotions in me that are inappropriate to show to clients and their families. I mean it's not about me - it's about them.

On the other hand - when client's and their families see me showing my emotion in empathy with them - it validates their situation and creates a bond between me and them. Then they trust me more. This is an advantage for all concerned.

Also...and this is the big point...whenever my emotions come on strong it can affect my ability to be neutral...objective...calm in my center. This interferes with being able to listen with total mindfulness and I often miss cues and clues.

So I end up running in parallel mode:
1. where I'm constantly monitoring my emotions to see if/when they are appropriate to display
2. listening to the client monologues of their issues while writing notes and contemplating solutions

I absolutely hate working under these circumstances and long for the day whenever I can just sit down and cry with a client, dry their tears, and give them a hug. Or laugh and laugh with them whenever they need release.

 

I think we all agree that everyone feels. I find something brushing at the edges of my mind. I see flaws in MBTI. I think it is better to acknowledge that we have an outer persona and a inner persona. I don't think MBTI does a good job of explaining/identifying those variances. I see 4 types when it comes to thinking/feeling (I got no beef with these titles, they seem appropriate). 1. Outer Feeler/Inner Feeler 2. Outer Feeler/Inner Thinker 3. Outer Thinker/ Inner Feeler 4. Outer Thinker / Inner Thinker. Now this doesn't mean that someone doesn't think or doesn't feel. I tend to think of these titles in terms of what function you use...outer meaning how you project/explain/present yourself to others, and inner meaning how you contemplate/see/understand (hope you get my drift here) your actions (emotions being an action). Perhaps the function you choose to take action with (outer) and the function you choose to define your actions with (inner). I dunno if this makes sense, and well, it is just off the top of my head....inspired by Maven...lol. I think I am more like an outer feeler / inner thinker. I express my emotions readily and always have...I think perhaps selfishly at times, but inside, I tend to analyze and contemplate. So while I express emotions readily, on an internal level, I generally don't have a lot of emotions that keep me tangled up for great lengths of time. My moods pass relatively quickly as I am incapable of really falling into a deep funk for long periods of times, at most, a day or two, and then my rational thoughts take over and there doesn't seem any point. *shrugs*