false hope
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
Do you think there's a chance that it can increase someone's self confidence or belief in themselves even if they will likely never have or achieve what they are told they can achieve?
Well I think for me hope is not something to be cherished or idealized as it often is in western society. I think hope in general keeps us from seeing our situation objectively or clearly, and in a sense, postpones our initiative to do something about the conflict that brought it about.
As far as giving hope to others, I feel like that's just a way to blame someone else for our own feelings. I'm experiencing hope and its your fault. I'm not suggesting we throw mindfulness of others out the window, but how can we ever be ourselves if were constantly worrying about what other peoples emotions may or may not be. Its like past generations set up this society to be a bunch of mind readers and it flies in the face of living in a sincere or honest way.
As far as giving hope to others, I feel like that's just a way to blame someone else for our own feelings. I'm experiencing hope and its your fault. I'm not suggesting we throw mindfulness of others out the window, but how can we ever be ourselves if were constantly worrying about what other peoples emotions may or may not be. Its like past generations set up this society to be a bunch of mind readers and it flies in the face of living in a sincere or honest way.
I think it is detrimental. I'm thinking in terms of being able to prepare oneself for the worst. Giving some one false hope takes away their opportunity to prepare. I've dealt with this recently. I have asked medical professionals, "What could go wrong, next? What do we need to be prepared for?" In regards to loved ones who were hospitalized with pretty scary conditions this year. I found it more comforting to have that knowledge and to begin to prepare if need be rather than to worry about a million irrational things or to be unaware and blindsided. Thankfully, there were no complications to deal with. It's very important to be informed. It's empowering.
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I don't know... I think that if you have any real hope for someone, then it isn't false hope you're giving to them; you're just sharing with them the (sliver of) hope which to you is real. If you're trying to give someone something like this, you can't possibly make something out of nothing. Thus I think that it seems that "false hope" would generally be something done in negative intention since it implies that it is without this sense of genuine hope and good intention.
Giving someone the impression that something will happen or will get better when they fear or know it won't may not always be a result of negative intentions. Sometimes, it's done to avoid making someone feel bad or low about prospects. I think many give false hope because they think it will make the person feel better or confident.
Personally, I don't like it or care for it because I believe it causes more pain and harm than the positive benefit of avoiding making someone feel bad or hurt. I agree with @acd I'd rather be told the truth than be protected from it. From experience, it does more harm than good. Although I don't agree with it, I can understand why someone may do so especially if the reason is they don't want to be responsible for giving someone bad news or hurting their feelings. They use it as a saving face move.
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Not ideal, but false hope might occasionally be better than true despair.
This is because hope and despair are both about not actually knowing what's going to happen. You can't really prepare for the worst because you don't usually know what the worst is going to end up being. Even when you 'prepare for the worst' there can be even worse things that happen which you couldn't even conceive of.
In that sense, preparing for anything is also false. While going to visit somebody on their death bed and preparing for how to handle it, you might get hit by a bus for all you know. Seeing something as 'the worst' is a hope in itself. It's a hope that this is as bad as it is going to get. That can turn out wrong.
This is because hope and despair are both about not actually knowing what's going to happen. You can't really prepare for the worst because you don't usually know what the worst is going to end up being. Even when you 'prepare for the worst' there can be even worse things that happen which you couldn't even conceive of.
In that sense, preparing for anything is also false. While going to visit somebody on their death bed and preparing for how to handle it, you might get hit by a bus for all you know. Seeing something as 'the worst' is a hope in itself. It's a hope that this is as bad as it is going to get. That can turn out wrong.
I was given false hope at University, when they try to encourage you by telling you all the great jobs you can have when you graduate, then you end up on benefits :-(
It's bad, and I have eliminated as much of it from my life as it can. False has bit me in the ass one too many times in my life and I have learned from it. That's not to say one shouldn't be hopeful and make the best of a bad situation to keep you going forward when times are tough, but creating false hope is not the way to do it.
I see the cowboy movies where a guy has taken a bullet. "Paw, am I going to be alright?"
"We got 'em, didn't we, Pa?"
"It's so cold, Paw."
False hope, off the top of my head: There may be times it really doesn't matter. The young cowboy is about to die. Why not give him one minute of false hope? Does it sound better, "You are going to die quickly"?
The problem is when that hope is turned into faith.
I have hope one day someone will help to make my life easier. Is it false hope? No. Am I crazy? No. I prefer to call it hope, like buying a lottery ticket. I also have hope those that would wish me to fail will stop with their BS. Is it paranoia? No. It is reality. I have hope lies will stop being said about me. Once again: reality....and just trying to make themselves to look better. The shame.
False hope when told an epidural will block the pain sometimes forever? Most likely. Two and a half days later and I was right. Sometimes it takes two of these here shots. We'll see.
My parents told me I could do anything in this world I wanted to do. False hope? No. If I really put my mind to it, don't give up, and believe in what I'm doing: let it grow, let it grow. Hope turns into reality.
"We got 'em, didn't we, Pa?"
"It's so cold, Paw."
False hope, off the top of my head: There may be times it really doesn't matter. The young cowboy is about to die. Why not give him one minute of false hope? Does it sound better, "You are going to die quickly"?
The problem is when that hope is turned into faith.
I have hope one day someone will help to make my life easier. Is it false hope? No. Am I crazy? No. I prefer to call it hope, like buying a lottery ticket. I also have hope those that would wish me to fail will stop with their BS. Is it paranoia? No. It is reality. I have hope lies will stop being said about me. Once again: reality....and just trying to make themselves to look better. The shame.
False hope when told an epidural will block the pain sometimes forever? Most likely. Two and a half days later and I was right. Sometimes it takes two of these here shots. We'll see.
My parents told me I could do anything in this world I wanted to do. False hope? No. If I really put my mind to it, don't give up, and believe in what I'm doing: let it grow, let it grow. Hope turns into reality.
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I think false hope is being told something is definitely going to happen and will be fine when there's little or no chance of it happening. I think false hope is different from offering someone a kind or comforting word to make them feel better or more positive.
it depends on the situation. i think i'd prefer straight facts over false hope, because false hope feels like pending disappointment. though how many situations are truly hopeless? i'd guess not many. what sounds like false hope at first could eventually turn out to be true.
Well I think false hope is a misnomer because it implies that you're in a position to predict the future.
Facts are rarely 'straight' and giving in to 'reality' often flat out gets people killed.
Think of the Copiapó mining accident where miners were trapped for two months and survived. If they hadn't managed to tape that note to a drill bit to say "WE'RE ALIVE DOWN HERE!" what do you think the outcome could have been? It might have been possible that the rescue gave up and left the miners to their certain doom.
"Facts" some times are self fulfilling prophecies.
Context? What are you trying to achieve? Why give out false hope? Your question makes me ask more questions. I can say that I can see where false hope could be used. And abused. It depends on the situation. The end result is always the same though. Unless against all hope it all works out. Well then it's goes spiritual. False hope also depends on who you ask. You never really know until you give it.....
I bet we give ourselves false hope all the time. Think about all those dreams that never came true. What drove you to them?
I believe that false hope is believing in something that cannot happen. If it is still possible for it to happen then it is not false hope, it is just hope and faith that something will turn out for the best. Some people are told that their life expectancy is quite short because of disease and still lived for years. The hope that they would live longer than predicted wasn't false hope. It wouldn't have been false hope even if they had only lived for the predicted period of time because there is always the chance that the doctors are wrong about how long they have. If it is truly something that cannot happen, like being told that a loved one who is brain-dead will wake up and be normal again, then giving false hope would be cruel and unethical in my opinion.
Being in the current economic climate in my country,I get very annoyed when colleges and universities flaunt their courses as a way of achieving better employment prospects. It costs around£10000 a year now to do a degree. I was lucky to do mine when there were still grants. Education it's now the domain of the very rich, and poorer students, no matter how talented cant get on the ladder. If they go for higher education, they are accumulating debts they will have to pay off for the rest of their lives. I graduated in 2007 but having a degree isn't much help when most employmentis unskilled and minimum wage, it might actually be a problem being over qualified, this can be a hindrance. I feel very much I was lied to about how great having a BA would be, I know quite a few fellow students on Facebook, and none of them have really achieved anywhere near what they worked towards.