Explain "wavelength" difference between ESFJ and INFJ


Okay, so I've been reading on here a bit and I've ran across several people saying that INFJ's and ESFJ's operate on different wavelengths and it's almost impossible to fully connect with them. Can anyone elaborate on this and maybe give some examples???
Sensing refers to how people process data. Sensing people focus on the present, they are "here and now" people, who are factual and process information through the five senses. They see things as they are, they are concrete thinkers.

Intuition refers to how people process data. Intuitive people focus on the future and the possibilities. They process information through patterns and impressions. They read between the lines, they are abstract thinkers.

Sensing and Intuition are about how we attend and create meaning: from immediate data or after deeper thought.

Sensors pay attention to both immediate data from their five senses and from their own direct experiences. They are create meaning from conscious thought, rather than trusting their subconscious, limiting their attention to facts and solid data. As necessary, they will happily dig into the fine detail of the situation.

– They focus on what is immediate, practical and real, and live life as it is rather than trying to change the world.
– They like logic and tend to pursue things in a clear sequence. At work, they will have a clear schedule and like to use their proven skills in tactical situations.
– They may be seen as frivolous or short-sighted by Intuitors.

– Intuitors process data more deeply than sensors and are happy to trust their subconscious and 'sixth sense', gut feel, intuition or whatever you want to call it.
– They are good at spotting patterns and taking a high-level view, as opposed to digging into the detail.
– They like ideas and inspiration and tend to have a focus on the future, where they will plan to change the world rather than continue to live in the imperfect present.
– At work, they like to acquire new skills and working at the strategic level.
– They may be seen as impractical, theoretical and lacking determination by Sensors.

With Sensors:
  • Show evidence (e.g. facts, details, examples, etc.).
  • Be practical and realistic; grounded.
  • Have a well-thought-out plan with details worked out in advance.
  • Be direct.
  • Show logical sequence of steps.
  • Use concepts and strategies sparingly -- concentrate more on the day-to-day consequences of a plan.
With Intuitors:
  • Present ideas and global concept first, then draw out the details.
  • Don’t give details unless asked.
  • When provided an idea or hypothesis or summary, don’t ask for details; accept the intuitive conclusion at face value as working hypothesis.
  • Be patient; work may come in spurts or bursts of energy.
  • Let them dream; encourage imagination.

The types are stacked differently.
I am best friends with an ESFJ.
Ways we connect:

We are both oldest siblings who are very dedicated to taking care of our younger, more free-spirited siblings.

My friend is also really good about initiating hang outs with every one of their friends individually because they love to stay in contact. I'm so appreciative of the invite and chance to have one on one open discussions. Even when I tend to stay quiet in larger social events that they enjoy, I know that I am valued.

And I'm happy to support them, whether it's with encouraging words, listening, or just food when they get too busy and forget to eat.
Wow Asa...what a great explanation...

Im in a toxic relationship with a ESFJ and I never got why...now I understand a little better. Thank you for your detailed explaination