ENFP+INFJ attraction according to Beebe | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

ENFP+INFJ attraction according to Beebe

Hello, know what...i am dying to meet other INFJs out there. I don't know but as an enfp, they just interest me so much. I know i sound kind of selfish but it makes me happy to meet these people who takes care of other's secretly despite the fact they themselves need to be taken care of and be understood. See they're heroes. They are unsung heroes. They listen to you all the time yet most of us misinterpret them as snub or selfish or some kind of stuff but inside them they're struggling too We're glad to have them because they take care of us, but if they have their problems shared, they share it to a few and they even have to muster enough energy to tell it and most of us find them eccentric, so they just withdraw... They just can't help themselves to help others. These people aren't show off. I just can't understand why when i am with my infj friend, it's like I could stay awake all day wanting to listen to him and be with him and listen to what he says and there's no dull moments, eventhough sometimes or most of the times i dominate our talk, i always look forward to what he must say, because i know it's full of sense and meaning to him. For with the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.. The only problem when im with him is myself, i see myself unworthy of all his time. I say things sometimes that hurt him or my intuition that is always expressed outwardly hurts him and i am afraid to so i try to keep out of him. I don't want him to be labeled as something because of me. I don't know but i feel as if he's mad at me because yes, he likes enfps but i feel that on his mind, he doesn't like me...there are even certain actions that he wants me to stop. I was hurt but nvm, it's what he wants..

JUST saying that for an ENFP like me, truly, INFJs are great, deep and intersting persons, i just don't know with the INFJ's view on ENFPs like us. I have read many posts and forums that INFJs despises ENFPs when they cross limits. And that when an infj dates an enfp, when they get home, the enfp lists of all the reasons why this relatonship can succeed, on the other hand, the infj thinks on the reasons why this relationship can't continue. I don't know, i tink it just depends on the situation. But as enfps, we are sensitive and jealous sometimes, irrational also, we want attention especially from infjs but sometimes infjs need a break and needs space, talks with other types, disregarding us, with or without knowledge that they're hurting us in a way, but as for me, i understand this trait of infj. It is what they want ...and all i see here is that we just have to respect each other even when it hurts.
The bolded in your comment illustrates perfectly WHY any INFJ would be happy to be your friend. :) That's genuinely lovely. I think what I've discovered through being married to a wonderful ENFP is that being truly understood as if from within may be impossible in the deepest sense, that is an existential problem one has to just deal with, but being seen and appreciated is absolutely vital and I think few really do that. In my experience there is a mutual appreciation if a relationship forms. I think, perhaps there are other problems when it comes to intimate relationships...for me the way Ni kind of synthesizes info in a relationship setting is at some point there is enough to kind of in a seemingly "magic eightball" way to come to a "Yes" or a "No" wether it will work. It's hard to articulate and seems absolutely unfair but as one only has (around these parts) one life partner ideally it's somewhat exclusive, despite the appreciation. It's not as personal as it seems, it's not a judgement on the people in the relationship, but on the viability of the whole shebang.
I can say that for me the Ne+ aux Fi is wonderful and refreshing to be around. There are shared values and an all the N dom delight of being able to let your hair down. ;)
 
JUST saying that for an ENFP like me, truly, INFJs are great, deep and intersting persons, i just don't know with the INFJ's view on ENFPs like us. I have read many posts and forums that INFJs despises ENFPs when they cross limits. And that when an infj dates an enfp, when they get home, the enfp lists of all the reasons why this relatonship can succeed, on the other hand, the infj thinks on the reasons why this relationship can't continue. I don't know, i tink it just depends on the situation. But as enfps, we are sensitive and jealous sometimes, irrational also, we want attention especially from infjs but sometimes infjs need a break and needs space, talks with other types, disregarding us, with or without knowledge that they're hurting us in a way, but as for me, i understand this trait of infj. It is what they want ...and all i see here is that we just have to respect each other even when it hurts.

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I have had so many intriguing relationships with INFJs, and one by one, they've withered away.

I think with ENFPness, the dilemma kind of lies in that you can see and understand the essence of INFJs because that's what you can relate to, but you can't really understand how they are seeing things from their point of view--and that Ne-Fi unchecked is bound to lead to doing dumb shit, but INFJs are for the most part able to be functional members of society in spite of their NF craziness. As other posters have mentioned, ENFPs and INFJs communicating verbally is like a really engaging and addictive war. I've found that as I detach a little and up my Fe and Ni, and tone down my Ne, communicating via text becomes a lot easier with INFJs, but I lose that kind of transcendent magical unicorn NF world connection that I've experienced with them in person.

And honestly, it's hard living as an ENFP sometimes. I want to live in that magic NF world with feeding my invisible fantasies with INFJs, but it's too niche of a representation of reality. I hate that it's like this. And if I try to explain how I feel and then go back and read it, it's like wtf am I talking about.
 
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My youngest son is an ENFP and b-i-l is also an ENFP.

It is hard to embrace that it is difficult for the ENFP to finish something before they move to the next thing. This is probably the #1 frustration that I can see from basically all the other family members involved that fall in the "J" catagory. We don't understand the inconsistency and incompletion (though the ENFP may think they are being consistent.) It's near ADD-like. Various ideas bounce around in their head, which is difficult for me to understand ... since I tend to do one thing at a time (or very few things at one time.)

Other than that, I love the energy of the ENFP. They are a ray of sunshine on a gloomy day. They are easily amused and humorous. It's nice to have someone around who is flexible and does not take things so seriously. I can always count on oodles of affection from my son, and I love the reciprocation of energy we give each other.

Traveling is fun with an ENFP. It's spontaneous and adventurous. They seem to always feel comfortable where ever they are (which helps to ground an INFJ.) The downside is they are not apt to checking if a place is open or closed ... they just go and we all figure it out when we get there. Did you know Neuschwanstein is closed on Fat Tuesday? Yes, we drove ... in the snow, one hour away GRRRRRRRRRRR. The funny thing is that half-way there my m-i-l states: "I sure hope they are open today." haha (King Ludwig's castle was still open.)
 
Traveling is fun with an ENFP. It's spontaneous and adventurous. They seem to always feel comfortable where ever they are (which helps to ground an INFJ.) The downside is they are not apt to checking if a place is open or closed ... they just go and we all figure it out when we get there. Did you know Neuschwanstein is closed on Fat Tuesday? Yes, we drove ... in the snow, one hour away GRRRRRRRRRRR. The funny thing is that half-way there my m-i-l states: "I sure hope they are open today." haha (King Ludwig's castle was still open.)

:D When it gets too boring my husband will just say "Put the kids in the car, now!!!" We go for a drive, no plan, and for some reason he more than once has wanted to drive to this other major city 2 hours away. Every single time we get there nothing's open and we can't do anything, because there's nothing to do. We waste tons of money on gas and bad gas station food. ...hehe...."Had we planned just a bit...", but you know... Sometimes it works out and we go somewhere that turns out to be great that I would have never thought of.

I also like the fact Ne doms come up with all sorts of unexpected things and ideas. I'm an idea junkie, always wanting to reach that point where I'd be some sort of a superbrain that embodies every idea...
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and Ne dom's inadvertently get me closer to my diabolical greedy plan to come to fruition with their "If cows were doctors how would they take our temperature" ponderings. (Yess... my prettyy....you tell me how do they indeed...:spy: ) It can get this INFJ hooked. I'm also very hard to suprise so I love it when someone does... ;D
I also like it that sometimes those really pesky acquaintances my Fe deems too impolite to set straight, I have a straight shooting ENFP husband to charge in and tell them what for, and if what for is not enough...then what five!!! (Goes all the way up to 11) :)
 
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I have had so many intriguing relationships with INFJs, and one by one, they've withered away.

I think with ENFPness, the dilemma kind of lies in that you can see and understand the essence of INFJs because that's what you can relate to, but you can't really understand how they are seeing things from their point of view--and that Ne-Fi unchecked is bound to lead to doing dumb shit, but INFJs are for the most part able to be functional members of society in spite of their NF craziness. As other posters have mentioned, ENFPs and INFJs communicating verbally is like a really engaging and addictive war. I've found that as I detach a little and up my Fe and Ni, and tone down my Ne, communicating via text becomes a lot easier with INFJs, but I lose that kind of transcendent magical unicorn NF world connection that I've experienced with them in person.

And honestly, it's hard living as an ENFP sometimes. I want to live in that magic NF world with feeding my invisible fantasies with INFJs, but it's too niche of a representation of reality. I hate that it's like this. And if I try to explain how I feel and then go back and read it, it's like wtf am I talking about.

I think (and maybe I'm wrong because I don't have personal experience of how Ne+Fi actually is and feels like on the inside) purely deducted from the functions descriptions...based on those I understand Ne doms to live in the moment where you see multiple opportunities for things to play out and then chose to act based on what's congruent with your most authentic self, your values (Fi) it can come across as a little hectic (no J set goal that's not subject to change) and since the secondary function is subjective, maybe not so well understood by people because the judging function and motivation is hidden to others. Some can't fathom that there is a method to your madness, but I think maybe INFJs are more equipped to intuitively perceive the inherent values existing and at minimum level atleast the kind of a beneficial influence that boyant energy most ENFPs have on groups and people as a whole.
I've noticed many ENFPs I've known are often misunderstood as being a bit ditzy merely because of the Tigger-like energy and because they don't reveal their motives and values probably because of a fear snickered at or of being perceived as naive. I don't know if that's true or not, but that's how I've kind of thought of it.
I can't speak of all INFJs but I personally see acting seemingly normal as a defense mechanism agains being thought of as a nutbucket and being de-credited. (I think looking at the famous INFJs list and counting how many have been whacked off can give some indication as to how important it is to develop some political savvy and understand how the social sphere works (Fe) , how you're perceived and sense the emotional atmosphere around oneself.) Despite that you still want to be authentic, in INFJs POV authentic to how you perceive the world and everything is...so it's a fine balance.
The court jester is a good metaphor: You can speak the truth as a member of the court and be beheaded or you can wear tassle-slippers, play a lute and say what's really going on. If you're into the truth as you see it speaking business you have to figure out how you want to approach it.
My husband often says "just do and say what you want" but I don't feel I can. I think it (Fe) a bit of a lifesaver when what you might want to communicate is unorthodox enough, or when you can't explain step to step how you arrived at your conclusion. Te auxes I suppose whack you with a wad of undeniable empirical evidence. We fe auxes understand social graces and how people function as groups and how our Ni ideas would influence behaviour. Some INFJs, I feel, solve it by being decidedly normal looking, some I guess will forgo the comfort of looking normal and embody their personal message so to speak to prove a point and may even end up looking like this:images-2.jpeg
...which must be a pain in the behind to live with I'm sure. ;)
 
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I have had so many intriguing relationships with INFJs, and one by one, they've withered away.

I think with ENFPness, the dilemma kind of lies in that you can see and understand the essence of INFJs because that's what you can relate to, but you can't really understand how they are seeing things from their point of view--and that Ne-Fi unchecked is bound to lead to doing dumb shit, but INFJs are for the most part able to be functional members of society in spite of their NF craziness. As other posters have mentioned, ENFPs and INFJs communicating verbally is like a really engaging and addictive war. I've found that as I detach a little and up my Fe and Ni, and tone down my Ne, communicating via text becomes a lot easier with INFJs, but I lose that kind of transcendent magical unicorn NF world connection that I've experienced with them in person.

And honestly, it's hard living as an ENFP sometimes. I want to live in that magic NF world with feeding my invisible fantasies with INFJs, but it's too niche of a representation of reality. I hate that it's like this. And if I try to explain how I feel and then go back and read it, it's like wtf am I talking about.

First of all, thank you for feeling with me and caring to reply at my post. I am happy to hear that i am not alone with the dilemma aof being so interested with infjs. This is my first relationship and its like killing me. Now i have decided to feel the pain now and just be alone. It takes time to get the courage again and be friends with him. But as i do this i don't let him see i am sad in front of him as much as possible because if i will do that, he will sense it and he might treat me the way i wanted to just because he wanted to help me...but i know he cares but he thinks that if he will intervene things will just be worse so he ignores...so i just pretend everything's fin even if it's still the same.

I understand the INFJs, they're just so kind and helping...but when they don't want to commit to you. They will really not. They give hints of here and there and then disappears. They're like that and i don't hate them for that. I don't know. I hate that at the same time i love it.

It's hard to be an enfp for sure buti just think everyone has their own struggles, so is he. Have a great day ahead and Godbless.
 
The bolded in your comment illustrates perfectly WHY any INFJ would be happy to be your friend. :) That's genuinely lovely. I think what I've discovered through being married to a wonderful ENFP is that being truly understood as if from within may be impossible in the deepest sense, that is an existential problem one has to just deal with, but being seen and appreciated is absolutely vital and I think few really do that. In my experience there is a mutual appreciation if a relationship forms. I think, perhaps there are other problems when it comes to intimate relationships...for me the way Ni kind of synthesizes info in a relationship setting is at some point there is enough to kind of in a seemingly "magic eightball" way to come to a "Yes" or a "No" wether it will work. It's hard to articulate and seems absolutely unfair but as one only has (around these parts) one life partner ideally it's somewhat exclusive, despite the appreciation. It's not as personal as it seems, it's not a judgement on the people in the relationship, but on the viability of the whole shebang.
I can say that for me the Ne+ aux Fi is wonderful and refreshing to be around. There are shared values and an all the N dom delight of being able to let your hair down. ;)

Thank you, ma'am for the insights. First of all, congratulations and i am so delighted to hear you are happy with your enfp husband. Enfp straights for me are amazing. I am not sure if i have seen one but it's really nice to see straight enfps...its nice to see them very energetic, talkative, etc..i wonder what your family might be. I hope it's good.

Thank you also because i have realized that that person liked me because he understood me but never as something else...its not viable. That's it. My action with that is maybe to get some distance away and feel the pain for sometime. The pain of being not needed *the way you wanted it to be. Thank you and have a blessed day ahead.
 
I've always felt a connection with ENFPs. It seems every time I feel an instant connection with someone, they turn out to be an ENFP. My best friend is an ENFP, and I ended a 2.5 year relationship with an ENFP two months ago.

I still love him (and can't stop thinking about him every day, even when I'm sleeping, UGH), but there were too many issues for us to work out in the long run. I didn't want to come to this conclusion prematurely, so I dragged it out for 2.5 years until the stress finally manifested in a way I couldn't ignore (more on that later).

One major problem was that he wanted kids; I didn't. In fact, before dating him, I considered myself asexual and didn't want to date or get married. I felt very strongly against marriage, but tried to warm up to the idea of it for his sake. We progressed to the point where we'd say "when we're married" instead of "if we get married." But I didn't even want to want kids. In his naive optimism, he told me he'd give up kids for me because his desire to be with me was greater. I told him that he would inevitably come to resent me, and that it would feel unbalanced that he was more willing to sacrifice what he wanted than me. He didn't understand, though. My cynicism and his extreme optimism never agreed. We had the same ideals; the difference was I didn't have enough faith that reality lived up to those ideals, and he did.

Another problem I had was with his "the world is my playground, people are my playthings" approach to life. At the same time it was exhilarating and refreshingly innocent, it also made him unwittingly oblivious to other people's feelings. Even though one of the things I loved about him was how he went out of his way to bring introverts out of their shell, as he couldn't stand anyone to feel left out, he didn't realize just how much he meant to other people. He was one of those rare extraverts that are charismatic, theatrical, and admired but at the same time sensitive and genuinely interested in all the unnoticed introverts. Too interested in others... Those introverts he saw the beauty in and brought out of their shell—of course they would end up falling for him, and feel hurt when they realized he wasn't as attached to them personally. He cared about everyone, but his innocent affection was spread so far that he never bonded personally with anyone. He had a million friends and no confidant. He was extremely loving towards me when I was physically there, but I felt as if he forgot about me the moment we separated and his Ne was off to more adventures.

This was a problem our first summer apart. His car had been totaled, and he lived on the other side of town, and I didn't have a car. So we hardly got to see each other. I could live with that as long as I felt like circumstance was keeping apart, but I felt like he was apathetic and that was really what was keeping us apart. I only expected us to talk every other day on the phone, but I always had to be the one to call. I finally told him how I felt at the end of the summer and he assured me that he did think about me when I wasn't there. "I feel like I could stop calling you for two weeks and you wouldn't even notice," I said. He promised me that wasn't the case.

Fast forward to this past March. We had graduated in December and I had a new group of friends, separate from college friends, and only one of them knew my boyfriend. It felt freeing, because he had such a show-stealer of a personality that I always felt like it eclipsed mine. Like I was just "[insert name]'s girlfriend" to everyone, which drove me crazy. I didn't feel like seeing or calling him, and I figured I just needed a break—that was normal, couples need breaks sometimes. I hung out with these new friends more and more, not seeing or calling him, and he never called me. Never thought something might be wrong. While one of my new guy friends was initiating steady communication with me, the sort I had always wanted with my boyfriend. And it turned out his cynic-idealist outlook on life matched mine perfectly; I didn't have to jump through hoops to get him to understand my point of view. And he didn't want kids. And, oh shit... I like another guy... oh shit oh shit oh shit.

I continued to neglect calling my boyfriend because I felt so guilty. For a whole month, we didn't see each other and he only called me a couple of times because he needed me to do him a favor. He was so oblivious, he never thought something might be wrong. I was right... I could not call him for weeks, and he wouldn't even notice.

And that's how a loving the relationship fell apart. Our feelings for each other never changed, but our personality differences just didn't work out. I could have easily ignored a crush, if it didn't prey on my pre-existing doubts about the relationship. And if my boyfriend would try to work out those doubts with me, instead of assuming everything would work out because we loved each other. His Ne-Fi idealism gave him the values that I wanted in a partner, but he couldn't be realistic about it. I shouldered that burden on my own, and eventually it became too much.

I think if he had been a little more mature, it could have worked out. As guilty as I feel, I also feel like he let it happen. I never had any of the problems I had with him with my ENFP best friend. I think the difference is she has very developed Te, and his Te was extremely underdeveloped. When we struggled to communicate intuitive ideas to each other, he would spout out seemingly unrelated ideas until I forgot what we were talking about in the first place. He explained it this way: "Most people think linearly, but my mind is like soup. I have all these ideas floating around in the soup." I didn't understand why he couldn't just spell out the letters in the alphabet soup and then try to articulate them in an intelligible way.

Ne unchecked by Te is like mind soup. It was a nightmare trying to have an intellectual discussion with him, and I thrive on that sort of discussion. He would spontaneously make up facts to support his point in a debate. He automtically disregarded any evidence that didn't support his Fi-Si values. I always thought, "He's the most pure hearted, impeccably good person. That can't be taught. I can wait for him to learn all the practical relationship stuff." But he didn't seem to be growing; he was stuck in that cycle of using Te inauthentically, in the service of Ne-Fi and his inferior Si values.



That's exactly how I feel. I feel like it's so hard to find people whose ideals match mine, that when I found it with my ENFP, it was pure romantic bliss; yet at the same time, it was what I wanted to be real, not reality. In a perfect world, we would still be together, living out that ideal. But with the bliss I felt, the other side of the coin was torture, thinking "Just because we believe this, doesn't make it real. Just because he sincerely thinks he loves me that unconditionally, doesn't mean he does. Love is not that perfect. How will he feel about me when his naive idealism dies? Will I come to represent his disillusionment one day?" These thoughts ate away at me, but then he would reassure me with all the sweetness of the fairytale love I wanted to believe in, and I would cling to hope. It was an unhealthy cycle.

The problem is, if real life relationships don't live up to my ideals, I don't want to settle. With him, reality still didn't live up to my ideals, but at least he believed they did. I'm with the other guy now (ENTP), and he seems like a perfect match for me, but I can't reconcile those ideals with the reality of relationships. And he doesn't try to convince me the ideals are real, like my ENFP did. Which is both bad and good. It's very confusing. :-/

First of all, with this one: "Another problem I had was with his "the world is my playground, people are my playthings" approach to life. At the same time it was exhilarating and refreshingly innocent, it also made him unwittingly oblivious to other people's feelings. Even though one of the things I loved about him was how he went out of his way to bring introverts out of their shell, as he couldn't stand anyone to feel left out, he didn't realize just how much he meant to other people. He was one of those rare extraverts that are charismatic, theatrical, and admired but at the same time sensitive and genuinely interested in all the unnoticed introverts. Too interested in others... Those introverts he saw the beauty in and brought out of their shell—of course they would end up falling for him, and feel hurt when they realized he wasn't as attached to them personally. He cared about everyone, but his innocent affection was spread so far that he never bonded personally with anyone. He had a million friends and no confidant. He was extremely loving towards me when I was physically there, but I felt as if he forgot about me the moment we separated and his Ne was off to more adventures." The bold ones really reflect what i feel, i always need constant appraisal from others..i don't feel important..this was worse before...because of so many complicated reasons...that's just us...we thrive on these things..we love being praised..just as you love your things..as for me, i don't believe im attatched or close to that person because i feel unworthy of the relationship...so the solution for this is always tell an enfp what you feel, like hey friend, you are very important to me..an enfp will really appreciate that..he will not tell you that es happy because of our FI FUNCTION, we feel inwards..and we will truly stand on that. We value people that value us. It's true ...because we don;t want anyone to be left out just as the way we don't and hate feeling that, we tend to attend, ot attend to almost everyone to tell them they are important too, sometimes leaving us lonely because those people he became close jave their own cliques while the enfp has no clique left because he is too busy entertaining others..this is the reason....
 
Enfp's and entp's are my favorite. There are no other types I enjoy talking with more. I recently started dating an enfp i met in my science class. Although the dates have gone well I am still not sure about her intentions. The biggest thing that causes me to hesitate dating her further is her need for people. She says she is independently minded but she needs attention from others, affirmations from me, and I think her many social interactions are based around this need. She is open and talkative and this gets her a lot of attention from men, mostly on a superficial level. This makes me cautious because I do not know exactly if our interactions are superficial in her eyes, whereas for me, finding someone to open up to is special, because they dont come around very often. Her ability to open up could cause her to take my opening up for granted because she does it so easily. So from my perspective, as much as I would like to dive right in and get deeper with her I have to restrain myself, and see just how developed her morals and ethics are, and whether or not she is capable of betrayal or using someone who isn't a bad person like myself. She basically has to earn my trust further and prove herself as a quality human being, otherwise she will just be the typical human.
 
I do not know exactly if our interactions are superficial in her eyes, whereas for me, finding someone to open up to is special, because they dont come around very often. Her ability to open up could cause her to take my opening up for granted because she does it so easily. So from my perspective, as much as I would like to dive right in and get deeper with her I have to restrain myself, and see just how developed her morals and ethics are, and whether or not she is capable of betrayal or using someone who isn't a bad person like myself.

I would suggest telling her about your concerns exactly like this. I can only speak for myself, but when I've disappointed people in the past it was literally because I didn't know that those people could have the values that they did, and that if I was aware of what behaviour they valued, I would have been more careful. Unless she is aware of how introverts feel in these situations, she will likely literally be oblivious to it. You don't have to open up to her yet of course, but I think it would be best if you made your expectations for her and your perceptions about her actions crystal clear.

She basically has to earn my trust further and prove herself as a quality human being, otherwise she will just be the typical human.

I would advise against putting people on a pedestal, in any situation. No matter what, people will evenutally reveal disappointing qualities to you. What matters is to what extent they disappoint you, and if you believe it's worth dealing with or better to end a relationship.

Good luck sir.
 
I would suggest telling her about your concerns exactly like this. I can only speak for myself, but when I've disappointed people in the past it was literally because I didn't know that those people could have the values that they did, and that if I was aware of what behaviour they valued, I would have been more careful. Unless she is aware of how introverts feel in these situations, she will likely literally be oblivious to it. You don't have to open up to her yet of course, but I think it would be best if you made your expectations for her and your perceptions about her actions crystal clear.



I would advise against putting people on a pedestal, in any situation. No matter what, people will evenutally reveal disappointing qualities to you. What matters is to what extent they disappoint you, and if you believe it's worth dealing with or better to end a relationship.

Good luck sir.

Thanks for the feedback niffer. I agree with you about telling her my concerns, or at least probing through casual conversation to see how she feels about betrayal. I know she has been cheated on, and that she wanted to turn down a few jobs that would exploit her female qualities because of how it might look to others. I know she isn't a bad person already and she has been sensitive to me and my reservations to open up at times, however I usually do open up despite the reservations.

As for the putting people on a pedestal, I will never have a serious relationship with a girl who does not feel as strongly as I do about betrayals of trust, and how unnecessary they are. I think she values trust a lot, however I do not mess around with the sensitive parts of my consciousness. I know I am not perfect and neither is anyone and I agree with you about putting people on a pedestal otherwise.
 
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My daughter is 21 years old and an ENFP, I had her take the MTBI test about a month ago and when I found this out a lot of puzzle pieces fell into place for me.

I have never had a more complex and tumultuous relationship with another human being in my life!

I can honestly say I was afraid of my own kid for many years, however she hasn't lived with us for about two years now so we are healing.

The biggest issue for us from my perspective is she puts her emotions out there with such FORCE, there's no word to describe her when she gets into this place. It completely freaks me out and I will literally run from it, I cannot deal with it, I want to crawl into a hole and die if I can't get away from it. When I run from her she interprets this as "Mom doesn't care about me", which isn't true at all of course, but that's how she feels, this just adds fuel to her anger (or sadness) and round and round we go.

On the other end of the spectrum, she and I have a cool connection and can talk for hours and hours about things that I can't or don't talk to anyone else about, I don't have many peeps in my life I can do that with, well really the count is a whopping two, ha!

Yup that sounds like an ENFP. I have an ENFP cousin who does the same thing. She gets in these dark moods and she doesn't care at all, she will just let it shine shamelessly (at least with me). I'm not sure if she does that with other people. We are super close though in fact she's my best friend. ENFP's are super complex people, even if you know them for a long time it's hard to figure them out.