I am not entirely sold on keeping the *I* out of the conversation, though I do recognize that you started the conversation with that parameter, Asa, so if you'd rather call that a given, I can let it go. But my go-tos are "I am here." "I hear you." "I see you." And I also use reflective listening extensively, too, repeating back what the person has said in slightly different words to show that I heard and understood what they said, and also because I find it so helpful to offer the opportunity for them to take in their own output and hear it in a different voice. There may be better ways of explaining that, but it feels like something I can do that is helpful, confirms that I am present and connected, and affirms their feelings and/or position.
I believe that a significant amount of what people need is to be seen, heard, and affirmed. If I cannot connect with exactly what they are telling me, I can connect with their need to feel connected, for example. It is still about them. I'm not hijacking (as I might be if I switched the conversation to a story about myself, or a description of how I feel, or some explanation of why I can relate.)
I am present. I am here. I hear you. I see you. I am listening. I appreciate your words, your trust in me, your perspective, how challenging this is for you, how frustrating this situation is for you, how overwhelming this is for you. I am with you and I can look you in the eye and I can handle what you are sharing with me and I believe in your ability to get through this difficult time.
And so on.
I believe that a significant amount of what people need is to be seen, heard, and affirmed. If I cannot connect with exactly what they are telling me, I can connect with their need to feel connected, for example. It is still about them. I'm not hijacking (as I might be if I switched the conversation to a story about myself, or a description of how I feel, or some explanation of why I can relate.)
I am present. I am here. I hear you. I see you. I am listening. I appreciate your words, your trust in me, your perspective, how challenging this is for you, how frustrating this situation is for you, how overwhelming this is for you. I am with you and I can look you in the eye and I can handle what you are sharing with me and I believe in your ability to get through this difficult time.
And so on.
o, maybe I should not have posted what I did in this thread. I didn't rly share or create an idea to help others, and just dropped my issue. sry
Impact Character
folding paper cranes ⭐
What about phatic elements? I don't mean small talk and such, rather those small sounds like "hmh", "mhm" and the like that usually accompany non-verbal cues in communication. So everything that is not really saying much but is there to express social connection, relationship, recognizing the other/what's said and "showing" that you focus on them and give them room to express. Everything that is just there in order to signal "this conversation is still on". Think about when you phone someone, that's primetime for phatic elements.
Just thinking how those small things are always underrated but they are very present.
Just thinking how those small things are always underrated but they are very present.
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