Emotional control

Barnabas

Barnabas

Time Lord
MBTI
wiblywobly
Enneagram
timeywimey
So I just recently took another MBTI test for the first time in several years, scoring this time as an INTJ with the T and F split 51/49% basically indifferent. Something I noted in the test and have noted in test before is that alot of the feeler questions revolved around "Do you act on your emotions? Are you effected by your emotions?"

That bugged me, because the answer is always no. I take some small amount of pride in being a very emotionally controlled person, I don't yell, I rarely snap at people I always try to step back from situations to get a better view and perspective. The test seem to make room from for an individual who is inflicted with intense emotions but chooses not to act on them.

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's Introverted feeler thing. I don't know but I'd like your opinions on it.
 
Probably leaning to T then

Do you feel a strong emotional response to injustice whether to yourself or others?
 
Last edited:
No, I completely agree. It's a stupid question. Very poor design. It causes people like me to score "T" on tests every now and again as well, and it's part of the reason for people getting their MBTI types fudged.
 
@Barnabas, I read that as you have your lesser traits well developed. ...And the test sucks.

That has happened to me too. Not T/F though. My weakest preference is N. I've taken dozens of MBTI tests just to get a decent baseline to see what my preference strengths were. Pretty consistently my scores look like:
70% I
67% N
87% T
77% J

A few times my result came back as ISTJ. I actually never looked into what an ISTJ was for a long while... -The vast majority of the test told me I was INTJ so minor anomalies are easily discounted as statical errors. Then I decided to look one day just to see. ISTJ: "Duty fulfiller" -The type of guy who lives to support the establishment and current law/philosophy. LOL That settled that question real quick.

Not all tests are created equal, that's fer sure. My favorites are the Humanmetrics one and the HelloQuizzy Brutally Honest Personality [whatever]. If I'm the one introducing MBTI to people, I urge them to take both tests just for grins and giggles.
 
[MENTION=1848]Barnabas[/MENTION] - was the MBTI questionnaire you took a free on-line test? Just wondered as the questions posed on the freebie questionnaire may have its limitations compared to one that is conducted by an accredited MBTI practitioner.

I have no qualms in saying I’m overtly expressive with my emotions BUT not to the extent that I don’t have self-control and I certainly don’t allow my emotions to rule when making decisions. I can switch it on or off as I please.

With the exception of my immediate family, husband and close friends (due to the privileges of “belonging”), I would say that I have a reservoir of emotional control with people outside of this spectrum. It’s virtually impossible for me to have a rant while simultaneously empathising with the person I’m angry with.
[MENTION=1871]muir[/MENTION] The injustice thing – this is colossal for me– does anyone have any ideas as to why this is such a big thing for INFJ’s (not sure of other types too)?
 
Isabella said:
@muir The injustice thing – this is colossal for me– does anyone have any ideas as to why this is such a big thing for INFJ’s (not sure of other types too)?
Click to expand...

I don't know the answer to that but my feelings on it is that it is one of the defining aspects of being an INFJ. However whilst it can spur INFJ's on to stand up against injustices and can fill them at times with strength they didn't know they had it can also be their achilles heel

Sometimes people can bait INFJ's by doing them an injustice in order to get a rise from the INFJ. INFJ's can be passionate people and they must be careful how they release their emotions. If they release their emotions in a way deemed negative by people then they can fall prey to the manipulations of provocateurs

This would be one of the main pieces of advice i would pass onto younger INFJ's. Try to step back from situations when they arise rather then stepping forward into them because sometimes people WILL carry out unjust actions against you and others often to try to provoke an emotional response; however your response might actually be what they are looking for

So take a deep breath, go for a walk, reflect on things for a while before taking action to make sure that whatever that action is it will not be advantageous to the instigator of the situation

It can often be disturbing to see the levels of manipulation that some people are capable of. Caution is advised in such cases
 
I trained my emotional control really diligently because I was a crier and it upset others and had a way of upsetting me more.

So, when I was much younger I probably would have scored a straight up "F" on quizzes, due to the knowledge that I was "over-sensitive" and "excited over nothing" as adults would tell me. Having gotten that abrasive feedback to my strong feelings as a child, I diligently found a way to hide and separate and if I needed to feel that strongly, I'd do it alone and bring only a fraction of it into expression.

Nowadays, I score similarly to you---right between F and T. I tend to lean toward the F just because I know I feel (whether I SHOW it or not) before I think.
 
muir said:
Probably leaning to T then

Do you feel a strong emotional response to injustice whether to yourself or others?
Click to expand...

Maybe, not sure about the injustice thing though it's a massive pet peeve of mine when someone is being picked on or complained about when there not around to defend themselves, even If I don't like them. Found myself in more arguments in high school then I care to think about because I was sticking up for someone I hardly knew.

Rift Zone said:
@Barnabas, I read that as you have your lesser traits well developed. ...And the test sucks.

That has happened to me too. Not T/F though. My weakest preference is N. I've taken dozens of MBTI tests just to get a decent baseline to see what my preference strengths were. Pretty consistently my scores look like:
70% I
67% N
87% T
77% J

A few times my result came back as ISTJ. I actually never looked into what an ISTJ was for a long while... -The vast majority of the test told me I was INTJ so minor anomalies are easily discounted as statical errors. Then I decided to look one day just to see. ISTJ: "Duty fulfiller" -The type of guy who lives to support the establishment and current law/philosophy. LOL That settled that question real quick.

Not all tests are created equal, that's fer sure. My favorites are the Humanmetrics one and the HelloQuizzy Brutally Honest Personality [whatever]. If I'm the one introducing MBTI to people, I urge them to take both tests just for grins and giggles.
Click to expand...

I've always tested close, since my first test in college which was held by a proper MBTI practitioner. Though it wouldn't surprise me I I've become more T leaning in the last couple of years.

Isabella said:
@Barnabas - was the MBTI questionnaire you took a free on-line test? Just wondered as the questions posed on the freebie questionnaire may have its limitations compared to one that is conducted by an accredited MBTI practitioner.

I have no qualms in saying I’m overtly expressive with my emotions BUT not to the extent that I don’t have self-control and I certainly don’t allow my emotions to rule when making decisions. I can switch it on or off as I please.

With the exception of my immediate family, husband and close friends (due to the privileges of “belonging”), I would say that I have a reservoir of emotional control with people outside of this spectrum. It’s virtually impossible for me to have a rant while simultaneously empathising with the person I’m angry with.
@muir The injustice thing – this is colossal for me– does anyone have any ideas as to why this is such a big thing for INFJ’s (not sure of other types too)?
Click to expand...

I find that the actual proctored test is infinitely better then anything I've ever found online, but even It has some of these absurdly obvious one sided questions. Funny enough for me though I'd say my self control is stronger around friends and family, though that might be reflection of not wanting to appear weak in front of people who's opinion's I value.
 
Barnabas said:
Maybe, not sure about the injustice thing though it's a massive pet peeve of mine when someone is being picked on or complained about when there not around to defend themselves, even If I don't like them. Found myself in more arguments in high school then I care to think about because I was sticking up for someone I hardly knew.
Click to expand...

In an emotional way?

Would you describe yourself as passionate or do you see passions as something kind of foreign to you...a weakness almost?
 
muir said:
In an emotional way?

Would you describe yourself as passionate or do you see passions as something kind of foreign to you...a weakness almost?
Click to expand...

No, I'd consider myself passionate, though I'd put an asterisk on it noting that my passions tend to be limited to certain fields.
 
Barnabas said:
No, I'd consider myself passionate, though I'd put an asterisk on it noting that my passions tend to be limited to certain fields.
Click to expand...

Well it sounds like you say...borderline
 
I have never scored anything but INFJ but my Feeling is always just edging out Thinking. Sometimes I score 50/50 but the result is still always INFJ. I definitely have Fe because the most important thing for me is to make sure that everybody else around me is ok. It is more important to me than anything else, which is why I think part of making sure that everybody is ok is controlling my show of feelings to what will be helpful to them and not letting everything I feel out. I can be very analytical, but concern for others is always top priority.

I have been wondering about Fe, I have a friend that is an ESFJ which is supposed to have Fe as its first function. She and I are so different because she can't handle other people's feelings, they overwhelms her, and for me it is very important for me to hear out how people are feeling and I never let on if it affecting me because I just want to help them and throwing my feeling back onto them would not help them at all. My ESFJ friend confides her overwhelming feelings to me all the time and I can handle it but I can hardly confide any feelings to her because she just gets all weepy and it just makes me feel worse. I wonder if Ni is what would help control the outward expression of feelings.
 
For me it seems to be around the INFJ/INFP, J seems to be about 50% always and P about 40%... Hmm.
 
One can never accurately rely on tests. Its simplistic. Better to learn the functions, and trying to see which one you use.
 
Isabella said:
[MENTION=1871]muir[/MENTION] The injustice thing – this is colossal for me– does anyone have any ideas as to why this is such a big thing for INFJ’s (not sure of other types too)?
Click to expand...
From my experience, its mostly fatasy. Its actually a defence mechanism in many INFJs. When they get more secure in their persona, more stable, that's it, injustice doen't bother them anymore. They care only for themselfs, like all people do.

There is also some interesting things...for example, it is very known a male ESTJ does not have a single problem if you mock them, or even try to harm them. They can control themselfs, and they don't take it personal. Hovewer, if they find out someone is in danger, even stranger on the streets, he will instantly seek to put the bad guys back in their place. And what's even more interesting, they don't brag about it. They don't get into fatasies of how special and how "fighters for justice" they are. They just say "It was the right thing to do" and move on, even forgeting about it. And I know this because I work daily with a mature ESTJ male. What I learned from that man...its just unbelivable. It makes me ashamed of my thinking on moral matters. I found out there are people who, not only they do more, but they don't make it a big deal. They are even humble about it.
 
I think this guy has a point about Fe in INFJs.

[video=youtube;TW8DIFpBXfM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TW8DIFpBXfM[/video]
 
LucyJr said:
From my experience, its mostly fatasy. Its actually a defence mechanism in many INFJs. When they get more secure in their persona, more stable, that's it, injustice doen't bother them anymore. They care only for themselfs, like all people do.

There is also some interesting things...for example, it is very known a male ESTJ does not have a single problem if you mock them, or even try to harm them. They can control themselfs, and they don't take it personal. Hovewer, if they find out someone is in danger, even stranger on the streets, he will instantly seek to put the bad guys back in their place. And what's even more interesting, they don't brag about it. They don't get into fatasies of how special and how "fighters for justice" they are. They just say "It was the right thing to do" and move on, even forgeting about it. And I know this because I work daily with a mature ESTJ male. What I learned from that man...its just unbelivable. It makes me ashamed of my thinking on moral matters. I found out there are people who, not only they do more, but they don't make it a big deal. They are even humble about it.
Click to expand...

No i disagree

I think INFJ's are doers

I personally have gone completely off script in my life in order to live in alignment with my ideals and i'd say i'm good at formulating practical responses to each fresh barrier to that process

I have not chosen the path of least resistance and I'd imagine its the same for many INFJ's

But far from being fantasy i'd say my choices are in response to very real issues

I also don't think that guy in the clip above is a good communicator; i think he's waffling. I'm not sure how clear he is in his own mind he is about what he is talking about
 
Last edited:
Definition of injustice
1. the quality or fact of being unjust; inequity.
2. violation of the rights of others; unjust or unfair action or treatment.
3. an unjust or unfair act; wrong.
[MENTION=9401]LucyJr[/MENTION] - If being more secure and stable in my persona leads to feeling indifferent to injustice - then may I forever remain blissfully volatile. :)

Seriously, if this trait ever disappeared from my life then I would be left feeling utterly miserable, depressed and hopelessly void of any meaning or purpose. What would be the point of anything?
 
Isabella said:
Definition of injustice
1. the quality or fact of being unjust; inequity.
2. violation of the rights of others; unjust or unfair action or treatment.
3. an unjust or unfair act; wrong.
[MENTION=9401]LucyJr[/MENTION] - If being more secure and stable in my persona leads to feeling indifferent to injustice - then may I forever remain blissfully volatile. :)

Seriously, if this trait ever disappeared from my life then I would be left feeling utterly miserable, depressed and hopelessly void of any meaning or purpose. What would be the point of anything?
Click to expand...
Sure. But the idea was that many INFJ, and I will give me as a example, aren't really
seeker of justice, its just a defence mechanism. I was needing a kind of ground, to make me feel I have a kind of direction, and practical morality was that ground. But it was never honest, it was just to make me feel I am more grounded, that me too I have some direction. I don't know if this is available for all people, but I know it was for me, and looking back I kind of see all the pieces.
 
muir said:
No i disagree

I think INFJ's are doers

I personally have gone completely off script in my life in order to live in alignment with my ideals and i'd say i'm good at formulating practical responses to each fresh barrier to that process

I have not chosen the path of least resistance and I'd imagine its the same for many INFJ's

But far from being fantasy i'd say my choices are in response to very real issues

I also don't think that guy in the clip above is a good communicator; i think he's waffling. I'm not sure how clear he is in his own mind he is about what he is talking about
Click to expand...
I don't think all INFJs are like that. But I saw many who are.
This guy has some other videos with this theory going for other types:
[video=youtube;5WCafufy2Z4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5WCafufy2Z4[/video]
[video=youtube;e1MoTmG5V6E]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1MoTmG5V6E[/video]
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top