Domestic Abuse Awareness Month | INFJ Forum

Domestic Abuse Awareness Month

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I feel there needs to be awareness raised about this- a girl that I knew in 2011, was recently murdered by her domestic partner. This month is domestic abuse awareness month but I feel like all too often domestic abuse in regards to lesbians is “dismissed” because women are “inherently not violent” and that people assume that nothing bad will happen to a woman just because they got into a “cat fight” and hit each other a bit . ALL forms of domestic violence are equal, no matter if it’s a man or woman abusing a man or woman. ALL of it deserves attention and society cannot continue to ignore domestic abuse in lesbian relationships simply because they think no harm can come out of it. The murder of Tawnee Baird, who I personally knew and who EVERYONE in her life knew that her partner was abusing her, did not need to die. People need to be AWARE of what can happen if domestic abuse is ignored and allowed to happen.
Tawnee Baird was 21 years old, and Victoria Mendoza her partner was 22. She has confessed to “losing it” and stabbing Tawnee to death, so this isn’t just speculation. She stabbed Tawnee 46 times in the face and neck while Tawnee was driving down the freeway October 18th in Ogden, then Victoria sat in the car showing absolutely no remorse. Allegedly, she then took pictures of Tawnee and uploaded them to social media websites.
I don’t doubt this. In 2011 when I knew Tawnee baird, she was about 17, not yet 18. V and her (V is what she goes) were in a relationship at the time, and anyway Tawnee ran away from home in order to be with V. I was told by others that V has antisocial personality disorder. The two of them actually met in a rehab center for youth, so they both did have problems but Tawnee was not a violent person, in fact she was nice and playful and flirty with everyone she met which made V extremely jealous. V beat Tawnee, even back in 2011, but Tawnee was caught in the throes of an abuser.
Victoria was just offered this morning a $100.000.00 bail…an amount that can reasonably be raised by her family.

Victoria should NEVER walk as a free person again.


Life without parole is what she deserved.


She ended Tawnee’s life with no regard to anything or anyone…other than herself.

Victoria Mendoza is locked up at -
Weber County Sheriff’s Office
721 West 12th Street
Ogden, Utah 84404
Murder details -
Victoria Ashley Mendoza, 22, charged in 2nd District Court with first-degree felony murder for the death of 21-year-old Tawnee Marie Baird, October 18th (1am)
** I apologize for posting the details below, they are graphic **
The couple had been visiting friends in Ogden and apparently began to argue in the car as they were driving home. Mendoza said she “lost it,” pulled a knife from her pocket, and began stabbing Baird in the face, neck and chest while Tawnee was driving.
Mendoza then drove to a parking lot at 2484 E. Ave. and called Baird’s sister and a mutual friend, who called 911. She waited at the scene for police to arrive, according to court documents.


Victoria Mendoza should not be offered bail at all, or the bail should be increased to an amount that cannot be reasonably obtained. Please spread the word.
 
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I agree with you that abuse is abuse and the propensity of our society to set different standards for what constitutes it is wrong.

I have to ask, since you provided a lot of details about the case: what happened between 2011 when you knew her and when she was murdered? Did you lose touch with her? Did you or anyone else want to help her but felt you shouldn't or couldn't because her abuser was also female?

I'm a little unsure why you provide details of where she is locked up. Are you asking us to write letters to the prison asking them to intervene in the justice system somehow? Or do you feel the bail set was done so because the judge bought the story that V was female and therefore less a danger to society?
 
Myself and everyone in my life attempted to help Tawnee but her mother enabled her and as a result she was always able to have someone to stay who would excuse V's behavior. I lost touch in 2011 because I stopped hanging out with the friends I had during that time because when Tawnee had run away I offered to pick her up if she was in danger and wouldn't call the cops or police, and my friends were upset with me because of this offer because at the time they wanted Tawnee to be arrested so that at least she would be away from V. I am copying and pasting a message partly written by someone else so the information about the jail was part of that post, I had added onto it. Ultimately what it came down to was there were people in this woman's life who would not report V's domestic abuse and Tawnee hid it from everyone. I am posting this here to get awareness for the case as both an example of what can happen if domestic violence is ignored and also because the family of the murdered girl would like the word to get out. Since it's something I'm dealing with right now, I thought there was no harm posting here, as well as having posted it on tumblr and getting 1000+ reblogs so far since yesterday, the topic should be heard and discussed by people.
 
I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you are working to get this discussion going. There are few things so shameful that our society does not do enough about as domestic abuse. And I know what you mean about friends enabling this behavior. In a way, domestic abuse is like the older, more terrible sibling to bullying in the way it is both deeply personal, but also enabled by too many people around the victims.

Do you have a link to your Tumblr post?
 
I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you are working to get this discussion going. There are few things so shameful that our society does not do enough about as domestic abuse. And I know what you mean about friends enabling this behavior. In a way, domestic abuse is like the older, more terrible sibling to bullying in the way it is both deeply personal, but also enabled by too many people around the victims.

Do you have a link to your Tumblr post?

Yep this is the most up to date version:

http://theyellowbrickroad.tumblr.com/post/100914927734/faerieguts-theyellowbrickroad-please-read-and


everyone reblog it if you have a tumblr
 
I went to the funeral on Monday guys....very moving event, very sad. Reblog the tumblr post if you can...the family is trying to get Nancy Grace to pick it up and do a story on it so they ask that people write her and ask her to do so. Also, you can go to any Wells Fargo branch and donate under the name "Tawnee Marie Baird Memorial Fund", this is to help the family and whatnot- I just donated some money yesterday. But this isn't all about getting money or awareness spread....for me, it was very jarring because I knew Tawnee and I think everyone should just be on the lookout for abusive relationships and if you know someone who is being abused, no excuses, report it to the police. Escaping abusive relationships is one of the hardest things to do, the vast majority of women who try to leave an abusive relationship are killed by their abuser, this is why it is so important to put attention on the abuser and to keep making safe places for victims to go. Abusers will stop at nothing to hurt their victims and I'm just so sad during this time.
 
I saw that you had posted this on facebook the other day and found the case to be very sad. So many people get into abusive relationships and even if they understand that it's abusive they can't seem to separate themselves from it.

It's truly awful that the murderer was granted bail. I just looked up some info on the case and it's absolutely horrific what she did... And there doesn't seem to be a lot of remorse from this girl, either. That's two young lives ended basically. One in a grave, and one in jail.
 
Good news, not ideal but better than nothing, today they had a hearing and bail has been revoked until a hearing next month. Victoria has a private attorney and the attorney needs time to review the case, so for the 30 days she is being held until the next court meeting she cannot be bailed out. Hopefully next month they will decide to issue no bail, or increase it to something that is reasonable considering the crime which was committed which was truly horrific.