Dating and relationship faux pas
- Thread starter Gaze
- Start date
fart.
talk too slow. talk with food in their mouths. talk too fast. say too many words when they talk.
leave crumbs everywhere. punt the dog. trip over and fall through the glass coffee table. smoke cigars in the shower.
smoke cigars in bed. read hustler. wear nipple clamps. drink copious amounts of whiskey and attempt to build an air balloon out of tin foil. tell old war stories. eat onions. wear socks and sandals. forget to turn out the light.
pour sugar into cans of diet coke. fall into a koi pond at a fancy hotel. drive drunk. drive drunk and park the car into the living room. accidentally set my african grey parrot lose. accidentally fire off a gun in their pants while at a wedding.
go to a night club in sweat pants. accidentally fire off a gun in a nightclub while wearing sweatpants. wear their hat sideways. listen to 90s hip hop. insist on doing Highlander impressions while at fancy business dinners. build a meth lab in the basement. become a meth head and then cut themselves and proceed to pull out all of their organs. proceed to pull out their organs in the street until police handcuff them. play the organ. play the organ really badly. write for a Popeye web zine. Go to Popeye conventions. accidentally drop a relative's baby on it's head at a family gathering. butt-dial a relative right before we're about to get it on.
talk too slow. talk with food in their mouths. talk too fast. say too many words when they talk.
leave crumbs everywhere. punt the dog. trip over and fall through the glass coffee table. smoke cigars in the shower.
smoke cigars in bed. read hustler. wear nipple clamps. drink copious amounts of whiskey and attempt to build an air balloon out of tin foil. tell old war stories. eat onions. wear socks and sandals. forget to turn out the light.
pour sugar into cans of diet coke. fall into a koi pond at a fancy hotel. drive drunk. drive drunk and park the car into the living room. accidentally set my african grey parrot lose. accidentally fire off a gun in their pants while at a wedding.
go to a night club in sweat pants. accidentally fire off a gun in a nightclub while wearing sweatpants. wear their hat sideways. listen to 90s hip hop. insist on doing Highlander impressions while at fancy business dinners. build a meth lab in the basement. become a meth head and then cut themselves and proceed to pull out all of their organs. proceed to pull out their organs in the street until police handcuff them. play the organ. play the organ really badly. write for a Popeye web zine. Go to Popeye conventions. accidentally drop a relative's baby on it's head at a family gathering. butt-dial a relative right before we're about to get it on.
What partners should not do?
Well lets skip the obvious things like, don’t wet the bed or drown puppies and move into a few that might be a little more subtle like:
1. Personal space is important. I think it’s a good idea to let the INFJ have a sanctuary somewhere. A man cave, a study, or even a den. It doesn’t matter what you call it so long as he has a place where he can unwind in introverted bliss. However, if he tries to spend every waking moment there you might need to light a fire under his ass from time to time.
2. I don’t like it when a gal gets really clingy. I don’t want a girl that can’t live without me. I want a woman who can live without me but doesn’t want to. A partner to stand with not a leech sucking the life out of me. If I feel like a girl is deriving her identity from me I will want to get the hell away from her. I actually love it if a girl I’m dating doesn’t call or text for a few days. Her life shouldn’t revolve around me.
3. I don’t know about all you folks but public displays of affection sometimes rub me the wrong way. Most things are fine in moderation. Communication is key. If you try to do something to me in public that I think is reserved for private intimate situations I will not only feel incredibly awkward but I will also feel like you’re trying to cheapen something special by parading it scandalously before the hungry eyes of strangers. Yeah I know that sounds dramatic but there it is.
4. Lastly, please don’t haphazardly spew out information without considering that I most likely have to “feel” what you are saying whether I actually want to or not. Sometimes it’s as easy to depress me with a tragedy as it is to lift me with a triumph. It’s not that you can’t mention things it’s just a good rule of thumb to consider that what you are going to say to me is going to affect more than my ears. The life of an INFJ is the life of a burdened heart. I freakin love it! Though the sadness is twice as heavy the happiness we get to experience is twice as light.
I’m in a pinch for time so I can only offer those. I think INFJs who are trying to be helpful and constructive could come up with a bunch of things they would prefer that their partners did not do and perhaps even some things they wish they would do more of. Good question. Best wishes.
Well lets skip the obvious things like, don’t wet the bed or drown puppies and move into a few that might be a little more subtle like:
1. Personal space is important. I think it’s a good idea to let the INFJ have a sanctuary somewhere. A man cave, a study, or even a den. It doesn’t matter what you call it so long as he has a place where he can unwind in introverted bliss. However, if he tries to spend every waking moment there you might need to light a fire under his ass from time to time.
2. I don’t like it when a gal gets really clingy. I don’t want a girl that can’t live without me. I want a woman who can live without me but doesn’t want to. A partner to stand with not a leech sucking the life out of me. If I feel like a girl is deriving her identity from me I will want to get the hell away from her. I actually love it if a girl I’m dating doesn’t call or text for a few days. Her life shouldn’t revolve around me.
3. I don’t know about all you folks but public displays of affection sometimes rub me the wrong way. Most things are fine in moderation. Communication is key. If you try to do something to me in public that I think is reserved for private intimate situations I will not only feel incredibly awkward but I will also feel like you’re trying to cheapen something special by parading it scandalously before the hungry eyes of strangers. Yeah I know that sounds dramatic but there it is.
4. Lastly, please don’t haphazardly spew out information without considering that I most likely have to “feel” what you are saying whether I actually want to or not. Sometimes it’s as easy to depress me with a tragedy as it is to lift me with a triumph. It’s not that you can’t mention things it’s just a good rule of thumb to consider that what you are going to say to me is going to affect more than my ears. The life of an INFJ is the life of a burdened heart. I freakin love it! Though the sadness is twice as heavy the happiness we get to experience is twice as light.
I’m in a pinch for time so I can only offer those. I think INFJs who are trying to be helpful and constructive could come up with a bunch of things they would prefer that their partners did not do and perhaps even some things they wish they would do more of. Good question. Best wishes.
Strongly agree. It's one thing when we're alone, but another when people are around. I don't like PDA for all the world to see.
Just a few notes, still half-asleep...
- Do not talk about past relationships with me. I don't bring them up out of respect for you and your importance to me. If that person(s) deeply injured you and the wound lingers, that is fine. I will help as I can. But do not cast me in the shadow of your past - that is a quick way to get doorslammed.
- I am not an eternal source of sympathy and warmth; don't load me down with all of your issues. I don't bother you with 1/4 of mine and conquer the majority of them alone so I can be a better boyfriend to you without a strained feeling between us. I am not an emotional pincushion, don't stick me with all your woes every single minute they appear.
- No clinginess, please. We are equals, not parent and child. Love me for who I am instead what I am, as I do for you.
- PDA: I don't do it in public. Hugs, holding hands, those are fine. All else is saved for when we walk through the door at home
Rawr
- Guilt-tripping? Manipulation? Peachy, my absence will hurt you more than my company - you obviously need something to domineer. Go hug a stuffed animal, they don't care if you rip them apart.
- Respect space and boundaries. I am not a nut to be cracked and examined, then left for something more interesting. I come to you in my own time. Please don't be offended or hurt if you feel like you put more of yourself out than I do, I take things very slowly...I'm sorry
- Questioning the authenticity of my actions, especially where you are concerned, is extremely hurtful. Please don't do it. I'm fragile too, y'know!
That's about all I can think of at the moment. Didn't realize I slipped into a personal tense until I finished...oops
- Do not talk about past relationships with me. I don't bring them up out of respect for you and your importance to me. If that person(s) deeply injured you and the wound lingers, that is fine. I will help as I can. But do not cast me in the shadow of your past - that is a quick way to get doorslammed.
- I am not an eternal source of sympathy and warmth; don't load me down with all of your issues. I don't bother you with 1/4 of mine and conquer the majority of them alone so I can be a better boyfriend to you without a strained feeling between us. I am not an emotional pincushion, don't stick me with all your woes every single minute they appear.
- No clinginess, please. We are equals, not parent and child. Love me for who I am instead what I am, as I do for you.
- PDA: I don't do it in public. Hugs, holding hands, those are fine. All else is saved for when we walk through the door at home
Rawr- Guilt-tripping? Manipulation? Peachy, my absence will hurt you more than my company - you obviously need something to domineer. Go hug a stuffed animal, they don't care if you rip them apart.
- Respect space and boundaries. I am not a nut to be cracked and examined, then left for something more interesting. I come to you in my own time. Please don't be offended or hurt if you feel like you put more of yourself out than I do, I take things very slowly...I'm sorry
- Questioning the authenticity of my actions, especially where you are concerned, is extremely hurtful. Please don't do it. I'm fragile too, y'know!
That's about all I can think of at the moment. Didn't realize I slipped into a personal tense until I finished...oops
Don't try to manipulate me - especially passive aggressive behavior.
If I'm intensely happy and it makes you happy - don't all of sudden think my UN happiness should be less intense. You can't have one without the other.
LISTEN to me like you mean it. That means full eye contact and not multi-tasking while I'm struggling to put my intuition into words you can understand....
If I'm intensely happy and it makes you happy - don't all of sudden think my UN happiness should be less intense. You can't have one without the other.
LISTEN to me like you mean it. That means full eye contact and not multi-tasking while I'm struggling to put my intuition into words you can understand....
Talk about a real or fictional character and say "that's my ideal woman".
Pick on me for being sensitive about thinking I'm fat.
Insult my parents.
Not notice patterns and learn from past mistakes.
Constantly buy me dumb crap and think that will win my heart.
Not insist on paying for the first date.
Not being at least as aggressive as I am.
Talking about themselves the entire date without showing any sign of curiosity in me.
Of course they can do all these things, if I like them enough. But I better have been the one who asked them out or told them I liked them too.
Pick on me for being sensitive about thinking I'm fat.
Insult my parents.
Not notice patterns and learn from past mistakes.
Constantly buy me dumb crap and think that will win my heart.
Not insist on paying for the first date.
Not being at least as aggressive as I am.
Talking about themselves the entire date without showing any sign of curiosity in me.
Of course they can do all these things, if I like them enough. But I better have been the one who asked them out or told them I liked them too.
I can only answer what I wouldn't want MY partner to do, I can't speak for everyone else's standards.
Don't:
Invade on my alone time.
insult my intelligence.
make demands or "forbid" things.
Try and control me in any way shape or form.
It's a short list but not one that I've found many can follow.
Don't:
Invade on my alone time.
insult my intelligence.
make demands or "forbid" things.
Try and control me in any way shape or form.
It's a short list but not one that I've found many can follow.
I would agree with this, BUT I'd rather like to say that they can do that IF they know that their balls will be stomped on later for it.
I can't and won't deal with people who are excessively needy for attention and reassurance, people who get hurt if you disagree with them or don't share their preferences, people who want to make me think I owe them something, people who try to shame me into changing my personality or preferences, people who put a lot of value on outside appearances and other's opinions. Also, if they're unreasonable, irrational and very naive/lacking a critical approach to things we won't be able to get along for a long time.