Confliction

[blueflame]

Do you consider yourself a person that on the one hand is living an ok life and consider yourself fine, but on the other hand you attract or even gravitate towards on your own people who seem conflicted/lonely? Even the themes of movies/music/books etc. seem to be what some might consider deep or pertaining to the weightier matters of life. I use to assume that dark people were attracted to dark things and "happy" attracted to lighter things but from what I"ve experienced I no longer believe it. I thought maybe I was in denial and was actually sad. Now, however, I remembered that INFJs are the counselors.

 

[RetardedMonkey]

I tend to be drawn towards people who are conflicted and lonely because I can relate and want to bring them comfort. I gravitate towards movies and music like you described but I still can't figure out why I do though.

 

[AUM]

That has been my biggest downfall in most of relationships. Somehow I feel obligated to help people in distress and go down the hole with them. Funny thing is that at the end of those relationships those people that started out depressed get out of their depression and I end up getting it. Then I say "enough is enough" then next thing you know I'm doing it again. (sigh) when is this going to end? LOL

 

[Wyote]

Since I have this sort of innate desire to help, I am subconciously actively seeking out what needs helping. This sort of creates the illusion of everyone in the world being full of problems. It's taken me a while, but I am more perceptive of the good these days. I still feel as though I am surrounded by people in need, but I also recognize others ability to help themselves and help each other. I still feel very strongly that everyone could use some help with something in their life. It's a tough world out there.

 

[Faye]

I'm definitely drawn to conflicted and lonely people. They make for good conversations usually.

I'm also drawn to deep things because I reflect on my life a lot to the point where I lose all motivation.

I've realized that I'm prone to these kinds of feelings, but understanding them has made me happy anyway.

 

[sassafras]

I'm pretty conflicted myself, so I can relate to others in similar situations. It hasn't always (or rather, never has) been to my benefit, but there's some, overwhelming part of me that is achingly wanting to help those in need even if I know I'm not going to get any favors in return. When I'm spurned, or when my efforts backfire, I retreat into a more cynical viewpoint that has me considering more Machiavellian ideals. The more INTJ tendencies behind my person come back to scold me.

But I'm beginning to think that maybe this is not so much an innate thing as it is a self-esteem thing. I like the idea of being in control, of having people depend on me; it appeals to the leader in me. You're not going to go hang out with the independent, powerful, confident people if you're looking to have someone lean on you as a reassurance that you're a strong, capable person. No way. It's the confident, extroverted types that always get us in trouble because they take advantage of INFJ's sensitivity and incapability of being as cunning or as shrewd as the other types.

It's a pretty sinister theory, but maybe, deep down, we do it for selfish reasons. It makes us feel needed rather than vulnerable in a world thatoften doesn't understand our ways.