Compatible or not compatible? | INFJ Forum

Compatible or not compatible?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by Lerxst, Oct 11, 2010.

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  1. Lerxst

    Lerxst Well-known member

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    My wife, to the best of our knowledge, is an ESTJ. Of course, I'm an INFJ. We love one another deeply, but sometimes it feels like we're 100% different in every way possible (well, 75% according to MBTI standards anyway).

    On the other hand, prior to being married, I've been around fellow INFJ's and felt right at home from the start. It's like we could communicate without ever saying a word to each other. Two introverts being in the same space all the time, however, gets a bit dull at times... even by my own standards. The Extroverts keep life interesting but... well... I like being alone!

    On the other hand, I do like human interaction... on my own terms. My wife is really good when it comes to the human interaction part. She fails miserably when it comes to the "being alone" part though. Luckily after 10+ years she's come to realize I like being alone, but sometimes she's not all that quick to pick up on the subtle hints.

    Anyone else feel their relationship is strained in some odd ways due to our little INFJ "quirks"? If you're not an INFJ, how do you handle us when you get to know one of us intimately? I'd like an outsider's perspective too!
     
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  2. Gaze

    Gaze My word . . . hmm
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    As an INFP, I'm similar. With the few experiences i've had, it's difficult for people to sometimes understand or respect the need for quiet. They too often treat it as anti-social behavior or assume something is wrong. Too often i feel cornered - pushed to be more extroverted so that the other person doesn't feel as uncomfortable with the silence. It really helps to be with someone who doesn't see introversion as a problem or form of social disorder. Even with family, there's some discomfort. I can sit by myself for long periods of time in quiet without having a conversation, even if someone is sitting with me. But others think it's a little weird or abnormal.
     
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    #2 Gaze, Oct 11, 2010
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2010
  3. Inquisitive

    Inquisitive Steering By The Stars

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  4. Trifoilum

    Trifoilum find wisdom, build hope.

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    Not even with an E, my relationship with my INTP and ISTP siblings are somewhat strained in this sense. I can't count the times I wanted the ISTP to JUST LEAVE ME ALONE (and he said that he didn't do anything! BUT THE PROBLEM IS PRESENCE *facewall*), and there're times I've been called as too subjective. *sigh*

    That's the most recent one so that's the thing I recalled first when seeing the topic, but there are lots of other problems too :p
     
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