Comparing yourself to ENFJs

[Maverick]

Hmm..

I usually go through periods of going out several consecutive nights in a row (sometimes I seek them out myself), but then I get weeks where I need to recharge and do not seek out companionship at all.

Are there other INFJ's like me in that respect?

I am much more consistent in balancing going out vs. recharge. I can't imagine going out in big groups several nights in a row. After a night out and having to be "on" or at least trying to be, I usually crave a recharge night. For me though, recharge doesn't mean seclusion. One on one time with someone I am close to is a wonderful recharge.

 

[sumone]

Fe carries with it an internal sense of social role. It seems very likely that as an INFJ, your social role with your friend is very concrete to you. When she is out in public, she shifts her role, most likely making you feel alone in the crowd because she's no longer fulfilling your sense of the role you've established for her. In essence she stops being the person you have a bond with, and abandons you in a sea of strangers. Abandonment causes a sense of anxiety, which may be what you're feeling in these moments. Jealousy causes a sense of self focus, and would actually help you introvert in a crowd.

I think it is only 'salt in the wound' that she's becoming the person you might want to be in the process of 'abandoning' you temporarily, but because that part stings more it becomes the focal point for the unpleasant feelings you're experiencing.

My suggestions? First, reform your 'role' for her to include the fact that she behaves that way in a crowd, and that it does not in any way mean that she is not the same person nor the same friend you know and love. Secondly, resolve in yourself to be her back up in those situations, occasionally backing her up with supportive comments as she does what she does best. Not only will this help her draw you into the process and re-establish the bond that you may feel is missing when she switches roles, it will help you develop your Fe, and become more like the ENFJ you want to be.

I hope that helps.

Perfect advice! Thank you!