Changing career.

wolly.green

wolly.green

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MBTI
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Hi,

I want to change jobs, so I've been writing a whole bunch of CV's and cover letters.
I wanted to get your thoughts on a snippet of cover letter I wrote. Im not sure whether its over the top and I need to dial back the language a bit.

InfraCore is a company that understands [XY's] unique culture. Your commitment to providing sustainable, community friendly infrastructure makes you unique. I think it is important to get behind local initiatives and build sustainable solutions, which is why I have re-planned my goals and considered a career with you!​

I've been working on these things for a week now, so I can hardly tell.

Thanks.
 
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wolly.green said:
InfraCore is a company that understands [XY's] unique culture. Your commitment to providing sustainable, community friendly infrastructure makes you unique. I think it is important to get behind local initiatives and build sustainable solutions, which is why I have re-planned my goals and considered a career with you!
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A couple things.
  • I think this works mostly fine as a hook, but obviously the real meat of the cover letter comes later, where you take care to illustrate how your experience matches the company's profile expectations.
  • I quite like the enthusiastic tone, I don't think you should change it unless you gather from the company's website that they usually adopt a more formal tone.
  • One critical comment: the mention of re-planning your goals feels a bit forced, like it's coming out of nowhere. Could you consider adding maybe a sentence to flesh it out a bit? You don't want to give the impression that you're someone who re-plans his goals at a whim, either. Flesh it out a tiny bit here and maybe a tad more towards the end of the letter.
 
Ren said:
  • One critical comment: the mention of re-planning your goals feels a bit forced, like it's coming out of nowhere. Could you consider adding maybe a sentence to flesh it out a bit? You don't want to give the impression that you're someone who re-plans his goals at a whim, either. Flesh it out a tiny bit here and maybe a tad more towards the end of the letter.
Click to expand...

Perfect! Sage advice as always. Thanks for the pointer Ren!
 
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wolly.green said:
Perfect! Sage advice as always. Thanks for the pointer Ren!
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No problem, I'm excited for you, hope you are successful in this career change :blush:
 
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