changes in the stages of development from childhood to adulthood

What were your experiences growing up? How would you describe the stages of development you went through from childhood to young adulthood to adulthood?

So, I was watching a talk show and one of the guests was a single dad who was concerned about his 14 year old's interesting in dating. Now, she had never dated but has been communicating with someone in her school, who is 16. She is quite mature and seems to be responsible. Now, throughout the show, she is referred to as a kid and I have an issue with that. When you see her, she could easily pass for 16 or 17. She handles herself quite well, quite smart, sophisticated. It seems she wants to go out with her boyfriend to dinner, while her father wants her to only date in groups, or if she does go on couple dates, that he takes her to and from the dates.

When I was around her age, we weren't considered kids. We were younger adults. Yep, we were very sheltered but you're weren't treated as if you were just born yesterday. Children weren't raised to be perpetual kids. So, it's odd hearing and seeing this young woman spoken to as if she were a child.

When does a kid stop being a kid?

 

I don't think 14 is grown up. But I don't think it's realistic to treat a teen or young adult as a kid. I've noticed that our concept of development today is a big leap rather than a gradual slope. Kids don't seem to have the opportunity to truly grow into adults because they are either exposed to adult experiences much earlier faster than their emotions can handle it. There seems to be more quicker or overnight transitions to adulthood. But on the other hand, they are also sometimes so often told to enjoy being kids that they are not mentored in preparation for adulthood, and then one day are suddenly told they are now an adult and on your own, and must now take on complete responsibility for themselves. It's one of the most misguided and somewhat damaging ways to raise a child. And every child or young adult is an individual. Children grow up differently and may experience their development differently from their peers. Lumping everyone the same age in the same category, assuming they are the same in every way including personal development can disadvantage some and hold back others. How health is it to ignore or dismiss individual social and psychological differences. I've known 15 year olds who are more mature and responsible than some 19 and 20 year olds because of how they were raised. Growing up, we were already made aware that we were responsible for ourselves emotionally and socially, if not financially. So, personal responsibility and accountability was something we learned early. So, it's really the kind of socialization and education that you receive early which shapes the kind of teen or adult you become.

 

Agree, I wouldn't expect a dad to think differently. Of course, dads are going want to protect their "little girls." That's normal. Wouldn't have it any other way, especially if it was my daughter. I would want her dad to be protective. My point is really about how we see growing up throughout our society and how this may differ even across cultures.

 

@Sadie. Agree, today, being an "adult" is more often associated with independence along with financial and personal responsibility, but not necessarily maturity. In the past, reaching the legal age, social responsibility, along with your readiness to get a job and care for family was the mark of adulthood. Now, it's different. Look at couples in the 1930s and 1940s who got married at 15 or 18 and are still married after 60 years? But of course, those were different times. Being 15-18 today is definitely not the same as 15-18 fifty years ago. At that time, you didn't need college to get a job or earn a living and buy a home, start a family, etc. It's funny how things change. It's interesting how social perceptions change. To think of a 25 year old as a kid sounds honestly quite odd. In other countries, 16, not 18 is the legal age to vote and of adulthood. So, that's another factor.

 

This brings up an interesting point. Social, mental, personal, physical, sexual, and emotional development don't often occur at the same time or experienced in the same way.