It is quite a comfortable existence. The INFP/J has to accept that the ISFJ is a pragmatic, down-to-earth. live-in-the-present person. The ISFJ has to accept that the INFP/J is more of an individualist yet cares just as strongly about others. S thinks "inside the box;" N thinks "outside the box." If he and I were both dreamy types, nothing would get done. He's always there when I need him. We both experienced infidelity in past relationships and do not take one another's devotion for granted. We both know what it's like to carry the entire weight of managing a household because of a lazy, selfish partner.
Being with an ISFJ means accepting that he is, by nature, a caretaker who wants to make sure I am safe and comfortable in tangible ways. He is the protector type who would place his body between his loved ones and any danger that threatened them without a second's hesitation. Think Marine Cadet program here. And when an SJ makes a commitment, he stands by it unconditionally.
We are both rather conservative about money and no financial decision is made unilaterally. We take care of my 16 year old daughter and 11 year old son together, although he serves in more of a supportive capacity. Sunday is go-to-meeting day, meaning church.
He supports my education 100%. He is involved in local politics.
Do we get on each other's nerves? Yes. He gets on my nerves when he keeps referring to a point he made many times and I say, "I got it the first 100 times!" I get on his nerves when I assume he's thinking the worst and verbalize that fear. Really, he's not. Nonetheless, I would not give him up for anything because life with each other's quirks is better than life apart.
Would I have liked someone with more an intuitive bent? Seriously, that would have been nice, but it's mere fluff. In my opinion, it is more important to have a partner with whom I can build a relationship that will function well when woven into the fabric of work, education, friends, family, community, and personal values. Make no mistake about it, though: the emotional bond between us is strong and the feelings run deep.
It took him 2 years to persuade me to date him- my only question now is why I didn't say yes sooner. I now have, not what I once foolishly believed I wanted, but, more importantly, what I never realized that I needed.
