Can you meet your own standards? | INFJ Forum

Can you meet your own standards?

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I often read that INFJs have high standards for themselves. Do you think you meet your own standards (whatever that may be) ? What proof do you have?
Do you think others would agree that you meet your own standards?


This question is for any type of course.
 
umm depends...

my standards are more about pride and behaving in accordance to my own personal code. I almost always abide by it.
 
My girlfriend is INFJ and she mostly meets her standards for herself.

She is very forgiving actually if somebody she cares about fails to live up to her expectations once in a while though it will hurt her deeply.

She seems to have a default setting of expecting the most out of people and so strangers are constantly disgusting her with their actions.

Personally I tend to be able to see things from an almost unlimited number of perspectives, so the actions of people rarely disgust me. I just try to understand them. She has mistaken this as me being very compassionate. In reality she is much more of a humanist than I, since I don't really have any high hopes for people when I meet them. I am constantly failing her expectations though, while she has never really made me angry.

I also think sometimes it takes a passionate humanist to act most morally, while sometimes it takes an open-minded logical observer. The situation at hand, whatever it may be, dictates which type of person will be most comfortable making the "moral" decision.
 
Very rarely... I always feel like I should be doing better/more. I do feel a sense of accomplishment when I work my ass off on something, but I usually feel like I should spend more time/effort on it- make it "perfect"... but I'm just human and not capable of perfection. I set high standards for myself, because I have a fear of being seen as "inferior"... or just outright failing. I'm more apt to take extra time - put in extra effort, and overdue things... rather than "underdo". It also depends on the subject / what I'm pursuing, I have high standards only for what I care to pursue... not in general. I think I often procrastinate due to having high standards/dreading a lot of work... so that certainly puts a dent in actually reaching them.
 
On some things...on others, no I feel like I let myself down constantly.
 
Yes my girlfriend would also rather not do something at all than do it half-assed. So she ends up just not finishing everything.

I tend to wait until last minute and just crank out some BS thing. Unless it's something that calls for absolute clarity
 
Nothing ever meets my standards which is why I don't have any.
 
My standards are awefully high, and no, I don't meet them. But what good are standards if they don't CHALLENGE you to become a better person. One of the things I do is examine my life for where I am weakest and set goals specifically for those areas, and any time you do that, you are going "fail" a lot. But again, if you are the sort of person that wants to improve, that is what you HAVE to do. If the only thing you do is pat yourself on the back for all the things that come easy for you, then you remain a mediocre person. I will always be the sort that ASPIRES to become better. When I finally have the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon, the self discipline of a Shaolin monk, the righteousness of a Tzaddik, and the simplicity of a Buddha, then I'll have met my standards.
 
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I have very high standards of myself and others, and push myself and others to meet and exceed those. I don't meet my own standards but I get a little closer every time I try. I've noticed the people closest to me have very high standards also. I guess like attracts like - birds of a feather kinda thing. We push each other to greater heights and are there for each other through the triumphs and setbacks.
 
I would differentiate between my "standards" and my "ideals". The collective of imperatives that comprises my standards is the base-rate behavioral minimum I think is important to adhere to, while my ideals are things to which I can continue to strive towards but would be difficult to fully embody at all times. An example of a standard of mine is to live a vegetarian lifestyle. An example of an ideal of mine is to always give my best effort in any endeavor I undertake.

Some of my standards are concrete, and others are more nebulous, so my ability to measure my success varies to the degree I can operationalize each idea. For example, my success at being a vegetarian is easy enough to evaluate (i.e. did I meat or not?), while my standard regarding 'refraining from taking advantage of people' would have some more subtle and debatable elements.
 
No. I certainly settle at times on certain things and Iam forgiving of myself, but I will die trying to do better.
 
Whiskers said:
I would differentiate between my "standards" and my "ideals". The collective of imperatives that comprises my standards is the base-rate behavioral minimum I think is important to adhere to, while my ideals are things to which I can continue to strive towards but would be difficult to fully embody at all times. An example of a standard of mine is to live a vegetarian lifestyle. An example of an ideal of mine is to always give my best effort in any endeavor I undertake.

Some of my standards are concrete, and others are more nebulous, so my ability to measure my success varies to the degree I can operationalize each idea. For example, my success at being a vegetarian is easy enough to evaluate (i.e. did I meat or not?), while my standard regarding 'refraining from taking advantage of people' would have some more subtle and debatable elements.
Click to expand...

:yield:
 
I am the standard for myself, aren't I? I just always try to push them higher.

I always felt like a failure when I was depressed. Now I try to just examine my actions objectively and not dwell in feelings of shame or regret that I didn't perform up to my ideals, because I think those self-loathing feelings tend to stunt improvement. Instead of telling myself, "I didn't measure up", I try to tell myself to crank up the self-discipline and try again.

I don't really think about what my standards or norms are; I just see me, and I always try to keep pushing my limits.
 
I'm not exactly sure what is the meaning of standards in this context.

My ideals are really high, and I will go a really long way to get there. If I see that I'm not even getting close, I will never start trying.

( in my perspective standards mean what is the usual, in that regards your own standards will be met most of the time, except if you are changing a lot)
 
Some of the items in my 'set of standards':

1. Try to be reasonable (people's expectations and communication with others should be within reasonable bounds, never relying on selfish emotional manipulation/coercion): I meet it.
2. Be polite (unless being polite is definitely not constructive): I meet it.
2b. Show gratitude, when gratitude is due: I mostly try to meet it, but it's sometimes easy to forget.
3. If you are going to put yourself in a situation where people will rely on you, be reliable: I meet it.
4. Be fair/just (don't expect something for nothing; and if you are going to do something generous, don't try to get something back from it): I meet it.

I can think of more, but I'll leave it as is.
 
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