Can someone please diagnose me ??

[Jade321]

Just here to vent out my personal issues and to get an opinion from a fellow INFJ, because clearly I have a not-so-good ability to understand my own emotions.

For some time now I have been suffering with a lack of motivation, and has been ongoing for two years now. I’m still a teen and at college, but it started in secondary school (high school if you are American) I’m extremely perfectionistic and before this all started I would consider myself highly organised. I was getting pretty good grades in all my subjects across the board.

But at some point, and I cant remember when, but it all got too much. I fell into a state of mind where I overthought everything I did. Homework became difficult because of it. And so I struggled to even get started despite wanting to. Actually being at school was difficult too. I fall into patterns of paranoia and overthinking very thing to a point where I drive myself crazy. I dwell on what people think of me, how different I am to my friends, if they actually like me, how I am not good enough. I try my best to make sure I come across as the most approachable and inviting version of myself too but I’m just not sure. I often scared I’m too ‘in my head’ and daydreamy and I often am, so I miss important details in my external that I should be aware of.

I have had the same circle of close friends for the past five years.And I love them all dearly, but to this day still feel as though i cannot truely connect because I am aware of how different I am them. Even with them I can be socially awkward.

I have dreams and aspirations and so many goals I have not yet achieved and I feel as though the world is moving so fast but I’m at a standstill. I often feel unknowledgabe and unintelligent but most of my grades are still pretty high. But still my procrastination causes the work to build up and up and up sometimes and I feel as though I have to run this work marathon to catch up again. I frustrate myself so much with this habit.

Any advice/opinion on the causes of this would be greatly appreciated . I wrote this very fast just to get all the emotion out so I apologise for anything that doesn’t make sense lol.

 

[Wyote]

Take control of your pacing. Dumber people have navigated their way through life just fine, you'll be alright. Enjoy what you can, while you can. Appreciate people for what they have to offer, not what you can squeeze out of them selfishly.

 

[Jade321]

Take control of your pacing. Dumber people have navigated their way through life just fine, you'll be alright. Enjoy what you can, while you can. Appreciate people for what they have to offer, not what you can squeeze out of them selfishly.

Thank you for this. I have often attempted to just take control of everything - suppress it all ; my thoughts and emotions and just get on with it. But it has been tremendously difficult. Is doing a bit of faking it till I make it the best way to get out of my rut?

 

[Wyote]

Is doing a bit of faking it till I make it the best way to get out of my rut?

Possibly. That's something you'll have to discern for yourself. It's tough, but I would also say try to make some mistakes and be ok making them.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Hello Jade321.

The only "diagnoses" I dare to give you are rumination and its best friend worry.

I hear lots of concern with grades, expectations, pressure... but what do you love? What do you value?

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Any advice/opinion on the causes of this would be greatly appreciated.

I try my best to make sure I come across as the most approachable and inviting version of myself

That's your problem right there. That would drive anyone crazy.

 

[Deleted member 16771]

Just here to vent out my personal issues and to get an opinion from a fellow INFJ, because clearly I have a not-so-good ability to understand my own emotions.

For some time now I have been suffering with a lack of motivation, and has been ongoing for two years now. I’m still a teen and at college, but it started in secondary school (high school if you are American) I’m extremely perfectionistic and before this all started I would consider myself highly organised. I was getting pretty good grades in all my subjects across the board.

But at some point, and I cant remember when, but it all got too much. I fell into a state of mind where I overthought everything I did. Homework became difficult because of it. And so I struggled to even get started despite wanting to. Actually being at school was difficult too. I fall into patterns of paranoia and overthinking very thing to a point where I drive myself crazy. I dwell on what people think of me, how different I am to my friends, if they actually like me, how I am not good enough. I try my best to make sure I come across as the most approachable and inviting version of myself too but I’m just not sure. I often scared I’m too ‘in my head’ and daydreamy and I often am, so I miss important details in my external that I should be aware of.

I have had the same circle of close friends for the past five years.And I love them all dearly, but to this day still feel as though i cannot truely connect because I am aware of how different I am them. Even with them I can be socially awkward.

I have dreams and aspirations and so many goals I have not yet achieved and I feel as though the world is moving so fast but I’m at a standstill. I often feel unknowledgabe and unintelligent but most of my grades are still pretty high. But still my procrastination causes the work to build up and up and up sometimes and I feel as though I have to run this work marathon to catch up again. I frustrate myself so much with this habit.

Any advice/opinion on the causes of this would be greatly appreciated . I wrote this very fast just to get all the emotion out so I apologise for anything that doesn’t make sense lol.

Hmm, yes, your symptoms point very clearly to one very very serious diagnosis.

Normal.

I empathise with a lot of what you're going through here, and I would say not to worry about it too much - you're experiencing a normal phase of development and the procrastination will either pass, or you will learn your own way to push through it.

Controlling your environment is a good way and the one I prefer - go somewhere where all you can do is work. Once there, push through the initial half an hour or so of resistance, then you'll be away.

Good luck!

 

[Wyote]

Hmm, yes, your symptoms point very clearly to one very very serious diagnosis.

Normal.

That's good, for a minute I thought it might have been cancer

 

[Henry14]

Just here to vent out my personal issues and to get an opinion from a fellow INFJ, because clearly I have a not-so-good ability to understand my own emotions.

For some time now I have been suffering with a lack of motivation, and has been ongoing for two years now. I’m still a teen and at college, but it started in secondary school (high school if you are American) I’m extremely perfectionistic and before this all started I would consider myself highly organised. I was getting pretty good grades in all my subjects across the board.

But at some point, and I cant remember when, but it all got too much. I fell into a state of mind where I overthought everything I did. Homework became difficult because of it. And so I struggled to even get started despite wanting to. Actually being at school was difficult too. I fall into patterns of paranoia and overthinking very thing to a point where I drive myself crazy. I dwell on what people think of me, how different I am to my friends, if they actually like me, how I am not good enough. I try my best to make sure I come across as the most approachable and inviting version of myself too but I’m just not sure. I often scared I’m too ‘in my head’ and daydreamy and I often am, so I miss important details in my external that I should be aware of.

I have had the same circle of close friends for the past five years.And I love them all dearly, but to this day still feel as though i cannot truely connect because I am aware of how different I am them. Even with them I can be socially awkward.

I have dreams and aspirations and so many goals I have not yet achieved and I feel as though the world is moving so fast but I’m at a standstill. I often feel unknowledgabe and unintelligent but most of my grades are still pretty high. But still my procrastination causes the work to build up and up and up sometimes and I feel as though I have to run this work marathon to catch up again. I frustrate myself so much with this habit.

Any advice/opinion on the causes of this would be greatly appreciated . I wrote this very fast just to get all the emotion out so I apologise for anything that doesn’t make sense lol.

Are you suffering from lack of motivation (lethargy) or from procrastination? They are two very different things. One is from depression and the other from fear. Let me know, and I'll see if I can help out.

 

[Jade321]

Are you suffering from lack of motivation (lethargy) or from procrastination? They are two very different things. One is from depression and the other from fear. Let me know, and I'll see if I can help out.

 

[Puzzlenuzzle]

Just here to vent out my personal issues and to get an opinion from a fellow INFJ, because clearly I have a not-so-good ability to understand my own emotions.

For some time now I have been suffering with a lack of motivation, and has been ongoing for two years now. I’m still a teen and at college, but it started in secondary school (high school if you are American) I’m extremely perfectionistic and before this all started I would consider myself highly organised. I was getting pretty good grades in all my subjects across the board.

But at some point, and I cant remember when, but it all got too much. I fell into a state of mind where I overthought everything I did. Homework became difficult because of it. And so I struggled to even get started despite wanting to. Actually being at school was difficult too. I fall into patterns of paranoia and overthinking very thing to a point where I drive myself crazy. I dwell on what people think of me, how different I am to my friends, if they actually like me, how I am not good enough. I try my best to make sure I come across as the most approachable and inviting version of myself too but I’m just not sure. I often scared I’m too ‘in my head’ and daydreamy and I often am, so I miss important details in my external that I should be aware of.

I have had the same circle of close friends for the past five years.And I love them all dearly, but to this day still feel as though i cannot truely connect because I am aware of how different I am them. Even with them I can be socially awkward.

I have dreams and aspirations and so many goals I have not yet achieved and I feel as though the world is moving so fast but I’m at a standstill. I often feel unknowledgabe and unintelligent but most of my grades are still pretty high. But still my procrastination causes the work to build up and up and up sometimes and I feel as though I have to run this work marathon to catch up again. I frustrate myself so much with this habit.

Any advice/opinion on the causes of this would be greatly appreciated . I wrote this very fast just to get all the emotion out so I apologise for anything that doesn’t make sense lol.

Oh yikes, It seems to me that your perfectionism is getting in your way. There are studies that link perfectionism to low self-esteem, and then its ruminating on top of it :/. Further, it reads to me like you might be in a se grip.
I would advice you from own experience that you must take it easy and not take things too seriously. I understand that you want to be on top of everything, and do things well but in the end of the day you're human and it's impossible to be always 100% So, just focus on giving yourself a bit of a leeway and read about the SE grip (and if you can relate) ,and ways to get yourself out of the grip. <3 Wish you luck, much love

 

[sassafras]

Basically just another human grappling with perfectionism, with a dash of the usual anxiety that comes with that sort of all or nothing thinking. Just focus on finishing shit and getting it done instead of worrying about getting it perfect.

If it's school, give yourself enough time to a. just get it done and b. have some time left over to go back and double-check your work to see if you made any major mistakes. Discipline yourself to just do things following deadlines. Once the deadlines are up, boom, it's time to move on regardless of whether you've got it right or not.

If it's anything else, just permit yourself to do it the way you can do it in the given moment at whatever energy level you have and that's that.

The best way to beat perfectionism is to just pick things that you can be bad at on purpose. Draw the ugliest horse you can. Write the most appalling essay on a book you just read. Make a fool of yourself in public (like, I dunno, go to the mall with your shirt inside out on purpose). Be MESSY. Allow yourself to fuck up. The world isn't going to end.

Dumber people have navigated their way through life just fine, you'll be alright.

This is the truest thing I've heard all month. lolol. Trust me, there are plenty of people out there who might as well be lobotomized running businesses, finishing school, being parents, and driving on the interstate. The world is VERY forgiving of big fuck ups. The minor ones that are keeping you up at night barely register.

Go out there, get messy.

 

[Roses In The Vineyard]

You are a teen with many years ahead of you so don't overthink it too much and focus on doing well for yourself beyond just doing well in school but do so to beat the system not falling into traps set for the young. As for other people if it comes down to it there is little reason to give a fuck what they think and just do your own thing regardless.

 

[sassafras]

You are a teen with many years ahead of you so don't overthink it too much and focus on doing well for yourself beyond just doing well in school but do so to beat the system not falling into traps set for the young. As for other people if it comes down to it there is little reason to give a fuck what they think and just do your own thing regardless.

I have nothing to add to this, other than the fact that the gif in your signature gives this piece of wisdom a rather lovely je ne sais quoi

 

[sassafras]

Something relevant for the OP

There was an experiment a professor did. I think it was pottery students. He did an experiment of “quality” vs “quantity”. One half of the class he told; you have to make as many pots as possible. Good pots, bad pots, shitty pots, whatever. The more pots you make, the higher your grade.

The other half of the class were told, “you can make only one pot”. But that pot had to be perfect. The quality had to be high; the highest quality pot would get the best mark.

But when it came to the grading, they noticed something weird.

All the best quality pots were in the ‘quantity’ group.

The guys who were literally churning out pots, trying to make as many as possible, not concentrating on the quality. But every pot they made, made them better at making pots. By the end of the month (I think it was a month) - they had some pretty awesome pots coming out, because they enjoying finding all the ways and all the things they could do to make all their pots. Where as the ‘quality’ guys had spent their time reading up on pots, and technique, and researching and planning; which was all great but they’d had no further practice at actually making pots.

The best way to get really good at something, the only way to be really good at something, is to make lots of shitty attempts at that thing several of which will fail. If all you create are perfect things then you won’t improve, because how can you improve on perfect?

 

[Jade321]

Are you suffering from lack of motivation (lethargy) or from procrastination? They are two very different things. One is from depression and the other from fear. Let me know, and I'll see if I can help out.

Hmm, I am not entirely sure. I find the times where I procrastinate the most are when I feel when my mind is over worked - sometimes I just lack the mental capacity to get through my to do list because my mind feels fatigue from too much other-thinking about myself, what needs to be done and my abilities. So I guess my procrastination could stem from a place of fear. And sometimes when I force myself get through it anyway my mind cannot take it; I have to stop doing the task entirely or I find I frequently have to pause and deep breath just to give my mind a break. This is usually because my mind is elsewhere and cannot focus on what i am actually doing.

 

[formergeek]

What you are describing sounds very familiar to me; It happens to me all the time. I use journaling to dump everything that is in my brain onto paper. As I write I can feel my mind clearing up and calming down. I can also feel my body unwind from all the stress of holding in all the morass. I also need time (lots of time) by myself so I just hide away in my apartment for a weekend of "just me" without seeing another person. Sometimes even the TV gets to be too much. I live around the corner from a park and trail, and sometimes I go for a walk on the trail. I can be alone with no one around me, I can finally let my mind go and can observe, listen, smell, ponder and imagine to my heart's content.

You have absorbed way too much of the world around you and inside of you and you need an outlet. For us INFJ's we have to be careful of the outlet because it can backfire on us, instead of letting go we would absorb even more and go into a full-fledged depression (been there also). It is important to understand that you have the right to be and do "you." You have the right to say "no" and to look for your own balance. How much you are willing to take in, how much to keep out and when to take a break is something that you (and all of us INFJ's) need to work out for our own well being.

I hope this helps!

 

[witty]

Learn to separate your personal emotions from the ones of the people around you. Learn to discern when you feel people’s emotions. Be mindfully empathetic.


It’s ok to be a perfectionist, but get yourself something you can be laid back about, something you can be relaxed with, something you don’t have to organize. Teach yourself to be ok with boredom. Get yourself time to be bored every now and then and shut down your mind.


When you catch yourself overthinking, do what comes to your mind first if you have to make a decision. If it happens to be the wrong decision, face the consequences instead of regretting and wishing to have made a different decision. Learn to live with making wrong decisions.


You can’t always be in control in life, learn to improvise sometimes. Teach yourself that it’s ok to give up control and take whatever comes to you. Whatever it is, make the best out of it.


Get yourself at least Friend that understanding you (XNXX)

Develop your extroverted sensing, don’t over use intuition, if it fails with feeling, you get stuck in Ni-Ti loop.


Stop trying to be nice and approachable, be nice only to the people that approaches you. You don’t want to overload your Fe, only spend it on few selected people that are worthy.


Actively select the people you surround yourself with, if you can’t be wild and silly with your friends, then don’t call them friends, call them something else like acquaintance, school mates etc.


You have a lot of years ahead of you to meet your goals, you’re going to need new ones when you run out of the currents ones at some point, so take it one step at a time and measure progress James Clare way.


Most importantly, take time off whenever you feel like this. Do what you find relaxing. Find someone to trust all this on. Someone to share your troubles with. Write down how you feel and what you think might have caused that feeling. Ignore everything else and sort your feelings before moving on. Your well being is more important than your grades, don’t let the pressure get you.


You’re not defined by what happens to you but by how you handle it. Don’t stay stagnant, take necessary steps to develop yourself and get to be the best version of yourself.


Happy living

 

[Pin]

Ma'am, not to condescend but I sincerely think it would benefit you to speak to counseling services. I presume that your school provides them.

You could get way more organized, feel better, and get back into a functional groove of things.

 

[kfg(atj]

What you describe is very much my life in a nutshell.
I used to give myself a hard time about procrastinating because I very much enjoy accomplishing things but felt lazy waiting until the last moment to do them. I would get excited over the thought of a project and then still wait to complete it.

I did counseling with a psychologist who was an MBTI master practitioner - he told me that procrastinating was fine and can be common in INFJs because THINKING and PLANNING something is what we enjoy the most in tasks. He said that a lot of times we will spend more time thinking and planning in our heads and that's where we feel most comfortable so we'll wait on the actual execution phase. But he said there were studies done and apparently it doesn't matter that much if you procrastinate on a project, that the result is typically the same as someone who worked little by little or completed it early. It's different preferences for the process.

Lack of motivation can be a sign of depression too. I overthink, I care way too much what others think of me, I try to make everyone happy, I don't like upsetting anyone...I had to get on anxiety medication because I spent more time thinking about those things, than actually living or accomplishing the things I wanted to do. It's helped me quite a bit as I can focus better than I used to. Also, I absorb energy from others. If I'm around negative people, I feel like shit. If I'm around happy people, I will generally feel good....etc. etc.

My boyfriend is an ENFP (such a good compliment for INFJ) and he is pretty energetic and bubbly so most of the time when I'm around him, I can be energized by him and he keeps me on task. Doesn't let me sit around and daydream as much. haha

Point is - surround yourself with good people who will inspire you, take care of yourself and learn to ACCEPT YOURSELF. I used to be so hard on myself. Such high standards and then after discovering I was an INFJ, I am much more forgiving of my shortcomings because I can understand that I naturally have perfectionistic tendencies.