I'm an ENFP and my friend I'm almost certain is an INFJ. I haven't dated in a long time and neither has he, nor has he dated much at all in life it seems (we're both in our late forties and I'm divorced). He owns a company and has done everything on earth to make it successful and now it is and he is in a new home and said he feels ready for a relationship. I know he wants a serious relationship, not a casual dater. He's pretty direct and I like that about him.
I hadn't been physically involved for a long time and neither had he, and then, on our third date (bearing in mind we hadn't even kissed each other good night on dates number one or two), we got physical and ended up sleeping together fully. We both felt really unsettled, confused, nervous and talked about it the next night. He just kept saying he wasn't ready for it, that he felt like he wasn't "manly" if he didn't sleep with me but that he wants that to be a magical experience and to do it when timing was right. I think he trusts that I am not out there sleeping around. We both felt this terrible angst inside. I think we had a good conversation about it the next day but now don't know where we are so much.
I invited him to go somewhere with me this weekend (a park--nothing loud and overly filled with people) and he responded saying he wanted to give me a heads up on his agenda, and he had to work on this big project at his home this weekend. I know he really wants to do this project because I saw all of the materials at his house, but part of me feels that if he wanted to see me, he would. His answer was nice, i.e. while it would be nice to relax and not do anything this weekend, he was trying to get this job done. But also no mention of let's get together next week, etc. I don't think he likes to talk on the phone much, and that's fine. If I see him, it's intense, no tv, hours of talking, no alcohol involved. He's very into reading, running his company, creating a retreat space at home and nature.
My fear is that he's so uncomfortable that he's just going to decide not to see me anymore. He has barely dated at all over the last number of years and this is all new to him. Would that be an INFJ thing to do, to maybe sleep with a person too soon, freak out and then permanently disappear? I just responded back to his text that I hoped he would get the job done and be able to enjoy his new dock sooner than he expected. Big sad ugh
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I hadn't been physically involved for a long time and neither had he, and then, on our third date (bearing in mind we hadn't even kissed each other good night on dates number one or two), we got physical and ended up sleeping together fully. We both felt really unsettled, confused, nervous and talked about it the next night. He just kept saying he wasn't ready for it, that he felt like he wasn't "manly" if he didn't sleep with me but that he wants that to be a magical experience and to do it when timing was right. I think he trusts that I am not out there sleeping around. We both felt this terrible angst inside. I think we had a good conversation about it the next day but now don't know where we are so much.
I invited him to go somewhere with me this weekend (a park--nothing loud and overly filled with people) and he responded saying he wanted to give me a heads up on his agenda, and he had to work on this big project at his home this weekend. I know he really wants to do this project because I saw all of the materials at his house, but part of me feels that if he wanted to see me, he would. His answer was nice, i.e. while it would be nice to relax and not do anything this weekend, he was trying to get this job done. But also no mention of let's get together next week, etc. I don't think he likes to talk on the phone much, and that's fine. If I see him, it's intense, no tv, hours of talking, no alcohol involved. He's very into reading, running his company, creating a retreat space at home and nature.
My fear is that he's so uncomfortable that he's just going to decide not to see me anymore. He has barely dated at all over the last number of years and this is all new to him. Would that be an INFJ thing to do, to maybe sleep with a person too soon, freak out and then permanently disappear? I just responded back to his text that I hoped he would get the job done and be able to enjoy his new dock sooner than he expected. Big sad ugh
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