Bickering Couples and Love/Hate Relationships | Page 2 | INFJ Forum

Bickering Couples and Love/Hate Relationships

What is your opinion on a couple that bickers all the time? I'm not talking about the kind of fighting that is somehow psychologically damaging or overly aggressive, but I mean the type of couple that loves to get a rise out of each other and to some extent, enjoys that back and forth. To them, bickering isn't the same thing as arguing (although they do have serious arguments). Have you ever been in a relationship/friendship like this? Have you ever known anyone in a relationship/friendship like this? Why do you think they do what they do? In non-romantic relationships, why do some people automatically assume it's indicative of sexual tension?

Slippery slope, for me. I cannot handle non-emotional clashes personally (I always get the heart and mind involved; what does this person's words says about me and how they see me?) so I prefer not to do so. The temptation of that sort of relationship quickly goes into an oneupmanship for me-- which lines can I cross to create an emotion from them?-- And...so..no, I'd rather not.

I do think couples who can and does enjoy this should just ignore me.

There may be potentially many reasons. From liking to see them aggravated / riled up (..that's somewhat bully-ish) to wanting to see them less-- serious (...that is somewhat invalidating). But I agreed with [MENTION=4108]Radiant Shadow[/MENTION] that the ways under which the relationship was founded affects the dynamics the most-- the same dynamics made under perfect understanding and respect will be very different than if it was founded after boredom, lack of knowledge, or a shallow understanding of the other party.
 
I think it's important to not misconstrue bickering for playfulness. Some couples enjoy the banter, and there is nothing wrong with it. Mr.S and I are always playful with each other, poking fun and making jokes. We've been married long enough to know the boundaries of play vs. hurt. Mr.S's parents are like this as well, so it is strange to reflect on the idea that our marriage mimics theirs. O.O

Also..this.

taking one here and another there from the rest of you, It's important to distinguish passive-aggression from playfulness, negging from teasing, ribbing from sassying, throwing a playful shade vs a LEGIT shade, etc.

Again, I am cynical with this, so I cannot do this very well. Those of you who feel you can, go for it.