Being called crazy

[Mnfj]

Not sure if this is the right section to post this in but here it goes.

I never minded that much being called crazy because for the most part it didn’t have any significant consequences except for often feeling misunderstood. I usually let people think what they want and I never used to be concerned too much about what others think of me. I am used to being called weird.
But I’ve been in a situation for the past couple of years where I made some enemies who have actively tried to paint me as crazy in order to harm me and discredit me because I know too much about them and refused to back down. And of course, they are using the fact that I am an INFJ to demonstrate how weird and disturbing I am and it’s been hell.
I have no idea how to deal with this because the INFJ that I am, I know that many of my thought processes and actions seem impossible to most people so I can’t expect people to believe me.

Probably the worst thing was that when I reached out to my friends, people who I thought knew me and cared for me and who I was sure would understand and defend my character, instead of listening or defending me they also started doubting me and calling me crazy, while my enemies, who are not only complete lunatics but also perfect strangers to my friends, are given the benefit of a doubt.
I really didn’t expect this considering what a serious situation it is but I am finding no one has my back because they instead focus on the fact that I am “weird”.

I feel deeply betrayed though I know that this is happening because of other people’s insecurities and the fact that whenever I try to explain the situation and what happened, the things that I know just seem impossible to other people. But I don’t know how else to talk about it without compromising the truth and I would usually let go of even trying to explain myself in these kind of situations unless someone was really interested but this time I have been cornered because the things that are said about me are completely slanderous and extremely damaging.

In short, I am being labeled crazy by everyone because of my personality and I have no idea how to defend myself because a lot is at stake.

I apologize if this text was jumbled. I’d appreciate any insights or to hear any similar experiences.

 

[Wyote]

a lot is at stake

Like what

I know that many of my thought processes and actions seem impossible to most people so I can’t expect people to believe me.

What do people need to believe?

 

[Mnfj]

Everything is at stake. My home, my work, my life.

What do people need to believe?
[/QUOTE]

What I am telling them.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

People tend to believe actions over words. Let's assume that you're indeed not crazy and just a normal INFJ. Being an INFJ gives you the ability to make predictions and give explanations based on patterns, especially in the human(ities) realm. Do that. "X will happen." "Y means Z." "That person is trouble." Etc.
Then let reality prove you right. It takes a while, as people come to the truth in their own time, but given enough occurrences, this will help. They will still not really understand how you do it (or understand you), but they'll see you're not crazy.

 

[Mnfj]

People tend to believe actions over words. Let's assume that you're indeed not crazy and just a normal INFJ. Being an INFJ gives you the ability to make predictions and give explanations based on patterns, especially in the human(ities) realm. Do that. "X will happen." "Y means Z." "That person is trouble." Etc.
Then let reality prove you right. It takes a while, as people come to the truth in their own time, but given enough occurrences, this will help. They will still not really understand how you do it (or understand you), but they'll see you're not crazy.

Yes. That’s true. Well said.
Except in this situation I am dealing with extremely abnormal people and the fact that I can read them so well makes me seem like I am crazy or inventing things even though the facts say otherwise. I was even doubting myself in the beginning simply because it seemed unbelievable even to me.

But then I came around and now worst of all is that I already was proven right in things that people wouldn’t believe before in this situation and therefore I expected that the rest of what I am saying wouldn’t be doubted further but people seem to completely ignore that.

It seems like no matter what the facts are people just refuse to acknowledge them because they just decided already it’s unlikely and they rather focus on the fact that I’m weird even if I am right.

I am afraid that by the time people come to their conclusions my life will already be completely ruined.

 

[John K]

I’d appreciate any insights or to hear any similar experiences.

With so little information about you it's very hard to give you any solid insights. My gut feeling is that you maybe have some penetrating intuitions into the people around you, but that perhaps you lack the sensitivity and the skill to express them in ways that they can hear and accept. If it was just one or two people giving you this grief I'd say that it was something about them that was not right, but if it's everyone then that says something different.

The trouble is that Ni insight does sometimes seem and feel weird to people who don't use it. We have to learn how to translate what we know through Ni into ways that bring it to others in their own terms, or they can't really hear it easily, and can recoil from it. I know this sounds unfair, but it's because we INFJs are few and far between compared with other types and so we have to adapt to them in order to be heard in a positive way by them. It's hard work, but it can be very interesting and rewarding. It's done through your Fe - use it like an antenna to get a really good feel for how others are relating to you. With Fe and Ni working well together, you can get insight into how they are responding to you before it turns into a negative, and you will get an instinct for what keep things positive for them in the way you talk and act with them. Little things like expression, body language and turns of phrase are your queues and you can pick up on these well before people become consciously for or against how you are coming across to them.

There are some things too that NI can reveal to us that are best kept to ourselves, or communicated indirectly. As an example, it can give us a vivid view of other people's shadow personalities - aspects of themselves that they suppress and aren't conscious of, but which are expressed in their behaviour - we all have shadows like this. If you try and tackle them directly in their shadow, people will generally reject you instinctively unless they are very mature indeed. The trouble is that it isn't always obvious to INFJs where the line lies between someone else's conscious personality and their shadow, so we can easily cross very personal boundaries that way without intending to.

I'm just exploring a few ideas here with very little information so they might totally miss the mark, but maybe they give you some thoughts to play with?

I do hope you can find a way through and get your social environment back into the positive.

 

[Wyote]

It seems like no matter what the facts are people just refuse to acknowledge them because they just decided already it’s unlikely and they rather focus on the fact that I’m weird even if I am right.

I am afraid that by the time people come to their conclusions my life will already be completely ruined.

Why do other people's (lack of) understandings have such a large influence on your own personhood?

For me, I exist in a world where most people are multiple layers of ignorant.
I have to work at maintaining my own sovereignty, because other people will actively try to sabotage that at every turn.
It's just the way life is.

 

[Sloe Djinn]

Except in this situation I am dealing with extremely abnormal people and the fact that I can read them so well makes me seem like I am crazy or inventing things even though the facts say otherwise.

Hm, that’s not usually how that works. If you knew an unsettling amount about someone it would usually arouse curiosity and suspicion. People would only think you’re crazy and inventing things if your beliefs were way off the mark.

Much more detail plz.

 

[Asa]

Hi @Mnfj

Deep breath. You seem to feel stuck, which is normal for panic mode. Without knowing what is happening, all I can tell you is to find a healthy way to destress and unwind before you fall into the grip (ie, start acting out in unhealthy ways). Distance yourself from these toxic people however you can. Don't bother to share how you read them or what you predict will happen – it just gives them fuel. Don't interact with them or give them any ammunition against you. Find new friends. No need to cause a big scene right now and officially unfriend people, just find new activities and new people to focus on. Be good to the people who are true friends and who do support you and make sure you don't take them for granted.

If this is work – just focus on being professional and avoid non-work-related conversations.

 

[slant]

My experience is that the truth over the long term ends up winning out. You don't have to worry too much about it- whatever people's misconceptions are will be clearly disproven as time goes on.

And if that doesn't happen, maybe it's worth reflecting on whether the people you are surrounded by are really the best for you anyway. Even if it "ruins" your life, maybe it will bring about an opportunity to create a new, even better life.

 

[Krypton]

I know next to nothing about your situation, but my 2 cents is that the best move is to roll over or leave. If these people could threaten your job based on something they've construed as crazy, just agree with whoever brings it up to you and accept whatever they tell you and they're more likely to leave you alone. If they have a hidden agenda, accept whatever terms they wanna set. It's noble to fight, but it is a fight, and chances are you are way less equipped to do whatever underhanded bullshit these people deal in than they are.

If being in the situation bothers you, make a plan to get out. I understand if that's not possible right away, but whatever you can do to set up an exit is probably good. You will do yourself infinitely more of a favor finding positive things to replace this BS than trying to fix it.

If you don't like either option...I or anyone else trying to advise you would need to know more.

 

[Matty]

Maybe you talk too much. If everyone thinks you're crazy because of what you're SAYING, the solution is eminently effortless.

Being right, being comprehensible, being influential, and being relatable seldom coincide. Unless you can be very subtle, wanting it all and complaining you can't have it all is on you.

 

[MoonFlier]

As INFJs we tend to look at the big picture, sometimes neglecting our own place in it. We like to see success and to help guide areas that are veering off that course.

We are not in your situation and have no clue what you're referring to when you say those at work are calling/thinking you're crazy. Is there something critical that others aren't comprehending and in your point of view they're brushing it off?

If that's the case then you should know most people employ a heads down philosophy at work, one of make no waves. The point being they just want to stay employed and not cause complications that will come back to bite them. I have experienced this attitude in my co-workers and bosses many times over as I have attempted to warn them X Y or Z was going wrong and needed attention. Was I looked at as being crazy? No. Was I looked at as though I was opening my mouth when it needed to stay shut? Absolutely. I even had one boss stand up, usher me out of his office and shut the door never to speak to me again.

BTW - the results of X Y and Z that folk ignored were exactly what I feared would happen without attention. X went out of business leaving 50 people without income. Y caused a catastrophic failure of software in a FEMA emergency (sigh, that was the boss who shut the door on me), and Z was just a company loosing a client that could have been prevented.

You're not crazy, but we all need to learn to hold back the urgency in our words. People need the truth to come through their own realization and think it's all their own idea. Blasting them with it will only cause issues.

 

[Wyote]

People need the truth to come through their own realization and think it's all their own idea. Blasting them with it will only cause issues.

Print it, ship it around the world

 

[David Nelson]

My 2c is say as little as possible, avoid people if you can and get on with your work or hobbies or projects. As someone said, actions speak louder than words. Sometimes trying to “solve” a problem when it involves other people can do more hard than good. “Be like water” as Bruce Lee said. Be the opposite of what you hate or encounter in order to minimise conflict or vulnerability. It’s like if someone is criticising you and it causes stress, agree with them in a sarcastic way. That can take the wind out of their sails. Humour is a powerful tool. Hope this helps.

 

[Y1gtfmd74i5u]

My 2c is say as little as possible, avoid people if you can and get on with your work or hobbies or projects. As someone said, actions speak louder than words. Sometimes trying to “solve” a problem when it involves other people can do more hard than good. “Be like water” as Bruce Lee said. Be the opposite of what you hate or encounter in order to minimise conflict or vulnerability. It’s like if someone is criticising you and it causes stress, agree with them in a sarcastic way. That can take the wind out of their sails. Humour is a powerful tool. Hope this helps.

Sometimes. People take shit too far to feel better about the truth sometimes and they’ll still hold and exclude what they please. This may be where you let people do what they want to do and carry their own.