Attraction?

Jana

Jana

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MBTI
infj
I don't want that this topic become discussion about love at first sight.
My question is, how would you explain a moment when you meet someone and you just feel captured. Without any talk or communication. You know that there will be no love or something else, you probably won't see that person.
What part of our brain is in function, is it pheromons? Why evolution brought us possibility of that mechanism? It would be logical that both sides feels the attractions if it is about pheromons, because if someone "smells" good to me than it should be mutual or...?
 
It is a look for me, so visual. It is when I look at someone and I see something in their eyes--a twinkle if you will. That look lets me know they have a brain, a personality, which makes me attracted.
 
I don;lt think its a specific brain region. Interpersonal attraction is a rather complex process, and can;t really be regionalized. However, what you're describing a is more simple cognitive process. In lay-men's terms, its called being "turned on." :mpoke: A psychologist would call it passion[ate love]. Simply the person in question has a body that is sexually attractive to you, maybe some pheromones involved, and quite possibly their personality has some quality that sexually attractive. Typically people only speak of being turned on by someone/thing that is sexualized and that results in an obvious physiological change (such as an erection). However, this isn;t always the case, and you can very much be turned on by a non-sexualized person without the external response.

You ask why evolution made people get turned on even if there's no chance of anything happening. Well, actually, your question is invalid, because you decided that there was no chance after the reaction. The reaction is there to encourage you to walk over and make something happen.

Also, with the pheromones, it doesn't have to be reciprocal. People don;t really know how they work, and so we can;t say anything about reciprocation. Also, it could simply be that the genes that produce pheromones are complimentary to your receptors without you pheromones being complimentary to his receptors.

Finally, one thing you should understand about evolution, its not logical. Lets assume that the universe is inherently chaotic. out of chaos, there is a possibility that a self sustaining system will come as a result, and produce some apparent logic and procedure. This system here is called life (in another self-sustaining system called our biosphere). Life is a system that has a system acting on it, and so it responds systematically. However, the forces that drive evolution are still a decedent of the chaos out of which life formed, ad are therefore chaotic themselves (are random mutation here or there that either make the organism more or less adaptive to the environment) Over time, the changes seems systematic because the changes that persist are the ones that so happen to maintain the system. Our brains are organized as they are because they work at the minimum requirement for survival in our environment (and the environment so happened to be one that favored and almost required high degrees of intelligence). They are not organized because it is the most efficient and effective method of doing things. In the end, my point is; it doesn't have to make sense.
 
Yeah, trying to make sense of attraction is futile.
 
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Would a woman think wierdo if I just wanted to gaze into their beautiful eyes? I might want much more, but the moment will soon pass and I want to make the best of it. No mountain or sea could stand in the way. We hope to see her again...soon. Her friend is as attractive, so I must be lonely. However, I yearn to see her eyes again, along with everything that goes with her.

Sometimes, when we least expect it, we meet the right person.
 
just me said:
Sometimes, when we least expect it, we meet the right person.
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Serendipity-do-da! I hope you're talking to her! Lol. I did the whole looking into the beautiful eyes thing with a girl from my distant past. She invited herself to be my girlfriend and we had many similarities so I accepted. I spent a few nights just looking into her eyes, looking into her. She looked back into my eyes the whole time, but as it turned out, she just wanted the "D" and I let her down with all of my feelings, so she broke up with me, and got herpes from her next "boyfriend." Moral of the story? None. Just a giggle from my past. Congratulations and enjoy!
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
Serendipity-do-da! I hope you're talking to her! Lol. I did the whole looking into the beautiful eyes thing with a girl from my distant past. She invited herself to be my girlfriend and we had many similarities so I accepted. I spent a few nights just looking into her eyes, looking into her. She looked back into my eyes the whole time, but as it turned out, she just wanted the "D" and I let her down with all of my feelings, so she broke up with me, and got herpes from her next "boyfriend." Moral of the story? None. Just a giggle from my past. Congratulations and enjoy!
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LMAO. :))
 
Some kids I used to know told me I had it all backwards decades ago. The D comes first, then the love comes Cwazy wabbits.
 
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