Asking an INFJ if they love me, will they reply genuinely knowing the questioner won't reciprocate? | INFJ Forum

Asking an INFJ if they love me, will they reply genuinely knowing the questioner won't reciprocate?

Discussion in 'Relationships and Sociology' started by dI8Nm12ck, Aug 20, 2022.

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Is it friendship or something more?

Poll closed Aug 27, 2022.
  1. Friendship

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  2. Something more

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  1. dI8Nm12ck

    dI8Nm12ck Newbie

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    Hello there, I've known this INFJ for awhile, he tells me how I'm the only one who can bind him to light even when he or others are incapable to see it. I seem to make him cry a lot, but in a positive light or so he says, having the opportunity to gaze on my complex universe through the use of mere words. He expressed a desire to keep me for eternity, watching as the stars fall off from the dark sky when reunited in the corners of the world, acknowledging his selfishness, and seemingly getting all saddened up if I'd get away for a couple of days without replying to his messages, often fearing for the worst when I happen to forget to leave him a note reassuring him I'm fine. Though he does say I'm the only one who could hurt him deeply and still would care the same nonetheless, even if I would become an entirely new person from the one he knew. Said he doesn't deserve me, not wishing to contaminate me with his poison, as I am a shining jewel in a dark mine. But with time it got to a point where, for once in his lifetime, although he didn't initially accept it at first, he admits on feeling soulfully understood and connected to someone as restless as him, who he does not wish to give less than his all. He says that I can't do him no wrong as the image he has of me is too consolidated to be broken apart, and the respect runs deeply on me, a beautiful rose commonly mistaken as wild grass, a thought that would cause him irritation, pointing up that I would eventually get the meaning of this similitude when I asked for further elaboration. He struggles in talking to his friends about our friendship, shrugging it off as a casual one, whereas he doesn't seem to have a problem discussing his other friendships' ups and downs. He told me that the intimacy we have is something he would not be comfortable in sharing and asked if I could ever forgive him for that. Usually, when we discuss romantic feelings, he tends to talk about how he isn't worthy of emotions so focused deriving from me like "jealousy" or "love", and that the future will inevitably force him to settle for someone who just wouldn't understand and make him feel insufferable. But when I ask him if he thinks about me that way, he quickly backs off and affirm our bond is greater than romance, soulmates beyond time and space, confident about having met me in a past lifetime. He got upset when bringing up the hypothetical case for which I could think something remotely romantic was going on, as he says it is a nonexistent desire and prospectus from his part. I, since the start, did make clear I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship, afraid that these feelings could be too intense for my handling. What is the general consensus on all this? Would you define it as a friendship or is there something slightly off about it?


     
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  2. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    This sounds really weird and unhealthy, like they are not just infatuated, but obsessed and possibly also hiding something.
     
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  3. OP
    dI8Nm12ck

    dI8Nm12ck Newbie

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    Why would you think he's hiding something? At first glance I would have said he seems open, maybe a bit too much, though it wasn't really easy to get to a point of mutual trust like this. In the past, I've considered the possibility too, but failed to see the purpose.
     
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  4. mintoots

    mintoots Airvender
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    There seem to be a lot of conflicting actions from his end. I would be wary about that.
     
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  5. Sloe Djinn

    Sloe Djinn Idiot with Internet Access.

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    You said he’s concealing it from other people he knows while he talks freely about other friendships. That seems strange.
     
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