An Open Letter From Introverts To Everyone Else | INFJ Forum

An Open Letter From Introverts To Everyone Else

Gaze

Donor
Sep 5, 2009
28,259
44,730
1,906
MBTI
INFPishy
An Open Letter From Introverts To Everyone Else
Kali Rogers Founder and Head Coach of Blush, an online life coaching company for girls (www.joinblush.com)



Posted: 11/21/2014 10:54 am EST Updated: 11/21/2014 10:59 am EST
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kali-...erts_b_6148550.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Hi, it's us, Introverts. We just wanted to write a quick note to everyone to clear the air. We know that we can be hard to read, a little closed off and even irritable sometimes, but we do love you. To help you deal with us, we have put together a list of things you should know.
1. Weekdays Are Me Days.
"Errr... Book Club is on Mondays? Um. OK, I can't make it. Ever. Why? Because it's on Monday."
We swear it's not because we don't like you. And it's also not because we just discovered The West Wing. (I mean, how did we actually live before?) The reality is, we don't want to have to be "on" for three more hours. Socializing is for the weekends and the occasional Thursday (or every Thursday, if you're in college). We're up for it then. We're not up for it on Mondays. Of course we bend the rules for breakups, important meetings or special occasions. So basically, if it's not your birthday, it can wait 'til Friday.
2014-11-18-rashidajonestheofficeshruggif-thumb.gif

2. If You Call Me, Have A Reason
Business? We'll answer. News? OK. Just to talk? Hahaha. Unless you fall into our "special human" category, we're not answering your phone calls. And frankly, even our special humans get screened (sorry, Mom). Once again, it's not that we don't like you. It's because we simply do not have the energy to talk for the sake of talking. Texting is our real friend. If you text us, then you have to tell us what you want to talk about, and we like that lots. Phone calls are for catching up and achieving goals. Anything else is considered a no-go.
2014-11-18-phone-thumb.gif

3. People We Know Better Be There
Oh, kindergarten. So long ago, we were all shoved into a classroom and told to make friends. So, naturally, us Introverts know how to socialize just like everybody else. But don't mistake this for being extroverted! The difference is, we legitimately feel like passing out directly after talking to other humans. And this is probably why we ask the dreaded question, "Well... who is going?" We aren't saying you're not cool, we're just preparing ourselves. For what, you may ask? For talking to humans we do not know followed by leaving the party early. Sorry we're not sorry.
2014-11-18-Masterofleavingparties-thumb.gif

4. We Are OK Without A Bajillion Friends
Clearly, it makes sense that if we are horribly rotten at meeting new people, then we probably won't have a ton of friends. Pretty simple logic. And we're totally OK with that. However, the friends we do have are flipping fabulous. Take me, for example! If you are one of my dear friends, then one of two things happened:
1. You clawed your way in (bravo!)
2. We were confined together for a long period of time and forced to talk.
I'm not even kidding. That's how I met all FIVE of my lovely friends. And I'm considered to be "outgoing" (I know, right? Five.)
Moral of the story? If you're friends with one of us, we love you more than you know, and you're flipping fabulous.
5. We're Intense
2014-11-18-cecilystrong-thumb.jpg

Disclaimer: we seriously DO NOT know how to "bring it down," or "lighten up." When we are in a great conversation, it normally pertains to politics, religion, money, complicated relationships or anything else we "aren't supposed to talk about." These taboo subjects are our life source at cocktail parties, and we can't help it. Yes, your dog is too adorable and your outfit is beyond amazing, but what actually gets us going is your career buyer's remorse or your relationship with your mother. Sorry in advance.
2014-11-18-tragesty-thumb.gif

6. We Don't Reach Out Well
Oh, the horror. Here's the lowdown: We feel desperate or clingy when we ask someone to dinner, fake and slimy when we network and self-absorbed when filling in a distant friend on our lives. That's no excuse -- we have to work on these things, but be patient with us. If these things come easier for you, help a little lost Introvert out! We're cute, and what we lack in social aggression we make up for in poignant conversation.
2014-11-18-awwkard2-thumb.gif

7. We Like You
We really do. Well, not all of you, but a lot of you. We appreciate that Extroverts talk to us and text (not call) us and inform of us of what's going on outside of our scary minds! Even though we have become pretty comfortable in our introverted ways, we all at one point have been rather jealous of how you guys operate. So, don't think that we don't like you just because we prefer to be alone! We aren't hanging out with each other, either. For real.
2014-11-18-beingalone-thumb.gif

To all of our extroverted friends out there -- thanks, dudes. We know we're in a handful. And love to the fellow Introverts out there! Turtle power.
If you liked this article, you're obviously amazing, so you should totally come say hi to me over here. I do life coaching and things like that. If you think you've seen this before, you aren't crazy. Phew. You can see the original article just to prove it to yourself. And, if you're a personality geek like me, you definitely should come over here and play.

Ok, bye.
Images from top: NBC-niketalk.com, PBS-perezhilton.com, NBC-weknowgifs.com, NBC-brobible.com, NBC-wifflegif.com, NBC-rebloggy.com, NBC-whilenotfinished.com
 
  • Like
Reactions: flower
Ha ha. Spot on again....
 
Youch there's a kind of mocking and critical tone to this that is a bit of a turn off although i did laugh about the bit about intense chat at dinner parties

So the author is a 'life couch' but she seems to be coming from the position that introversion is wrong and needs to be corrected

I'm not sure about that; i think introversion provides a very useful function in society

I think the problem is that community has broken down so that people aren't brought together regularly

the problem with modern methods of bringing people together like for example a cocktail party is that it is very artifical...it's a set piece, artificially created staged piece of theatre as opposed to a naturally occuring festival, market or barn raising or something like that where people are coming together with purpose with having fun being an added bonus
 
OMG! This thread and [MENTION=12210]nosferatu[/MENTION] 's post on Wanderlust make my night. Great post, really.

[MENTION=1871]muir[/MENTION], I completely agree with you about how artificial some of the gatherings are and I think I understand what you mean about this is evidence that society is "broken down" and now requires this kind of bizarre interaction. I feel like the more mocking or critical parts are really just meant to be humorous, maybe specifically to non-introverts, so I kinda gave that the benefit of the doubt.

I've met a few "life coaches" in my time (mostly in the marketing/business realm) and I think you probably share my wariness of people with that title. Some that I have met seem to be looking for clients that just need a paid "best friend" in whatever they are doing, and I don't know if that's an honest business. However, I have also met some who are remarkable in their ability to motivate and in their ability to pick out problems as a consultant. I just think those are few and far between. But barring that bias, I thought this article was quite apt and humorous.