Advice for an ENFP with anxiety

[barbad0s]

Hey gaiz. I posted this on an ENFP forum that I recently joined, as well as on typologycentral which I've been visiting again lately.

I know you guys might not be able to give much ENxP-specific advice, but I'd like an INFJ perspective as well.

Hi everybody.

I'm a nearly-18 ENfP who is in the middle of her first term in university.

I have a couple issues that are preventing me from being able to get things done consistently.

1) I have a messed up sleeping schedule. It's been messed up for as long as I can remember. It's worse now that I'm in college because I don't have consistent times of the day that I'm forced to wake up at. I get tired at the worst times (right before class) and wake up at ungodly hours. Yesterday I went to sleep at 7am, woke up at 5pm and slept again until 11pm. It's 1:30am now and I'm fully awake and clearheaded lol. The only times in my life I can recall sleeping normally for an extended period of time is when I've been on vacation in other countries (jet lag + time zone difference + pressure to sleep and wake up normally so I can enjoy myself), and then the habit extends for a couple weeks after I return home. Then afterwards I go back to my old ways. I've tried melatonin and nyquil, but the effects I get from them aren't exactly ideal. I've tried not eating around bedtime and cutting caffeine, I've tried having snacks before bed; nothing produces reliable results.

2) For the past two years, I've struggled with depression and anxiety. The symptoms are mostly gone now, and I've been off medication for a couple months. I don't get panic attacks anymore, but occasionally when I'm feeling a lot of stress I will go a little crazy and it'll prevent me from getting stuff done properly, or from getting out of the house and going to classes and other appointments. I haven't been able to handle stress as well as I used to before all of my medical problems. The messed up sleeping thing definitely contributes to my anxiety.

I've always made to-do lists. They do help, but it sucks because in the middle of the day I'll feel ridiculously tired and not be able to feel better even with food or coffee, so I just have to sleep. Then I don't get a lot of stuff done, and that just makes me even more anxious. I try to go easy on myself because negative self-talk only makes things worse, and I've been more accomodating to my limitations and trying to figure out how I can use the strengths that I still have. I don't want to get frustrated with myself, but at the same time, I don't want my aspirations to all go to hell because my functioning and productivity is just so unpredictable right now.

Thanks for reading all of this, guys.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Simple, tiredness of the mind, but not of the body.

I recommend adopting a regime to exercise 15-30 minutes 2 to 3 times a week.

 

[barbad0s]

I recommend adopting a regime to exercise 15-30 minutes 2 to 3 times a week.

Yeah I should try that. I don't know what kind of exercise would be good for me though. I like learning dance, but classes are expensive and it's going to not be worth it if my anxiety makes me miss a lot of them. These days I walk for 2-3 hours every day, but aside from that I basically don't exercise anymore. I mean I don't just sit around every day, I live on my own and don't drive so I do all my chores and grocery shopping and stuff with my own two hands so I'm not really turning to mush, but I don't actively think about working out. I used to do hot yoga a couple times a week, but it wasn't really worth it because it makes my blood pressure drop easily and my blood pressure is a little lower than average, and I would nearly faint a lot in there. I also used to run a lot, but it annoyed me because I didn't like how thick it made my legs. When I had eating/body image problems, I would exercise a lot, and these days a lot of types of exercise remind me of back then and I'm afraid of relapsing or getting obsessive about it.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I would nearly faint a lot

I suggest wearing less corsets when you exercise!

I need a new yoga partner as I stopped going out of boredom. This is seriously punishing my waist line which is rapidly turning into a waist barrel. You up for it?

 

[barbad0s]

I suggest wearing less corsets when you exercise!

That's not an option

I need a new yoga partner as I stopped going out of boredom. This is seriously punishing my waist line which is rapidly turning into a waist barrel. You up for it?

No because it's boring. I'd rather be your fat partner.

 

[InvisibleJim]

No because it's boring. I'd rather be your fat partner.

I only do power yoga.

However, DVDs and junk food will suffice.

 

[barbad0s]

I only do power yoga.

However, DVDs and junk food will suffice.

HMM power yoga... I looked into it.. looks somewhat interesting. DVDs with celery would act as a better equilibrium.

My other concerns with exercise still stand though..

 

[InvisibleJim]

HMM power yoga... I looked into it.. looks somewhat interesting. DVDs with celery would act as a better equilibrium.

My other concerns with exercise still stand though..

Everything in life is a mass/energy balance.

If you wish to lose weight, consume less.

If you wish to become 'fitter' exercise more.

 

[barbad0s]

Everything in life is a mass/energy balance.

If you wish to lose weight, consume less.

If you wish to become 'fitter' exercise more.

I don't really need to lose weight or be fitter though, I just wanna sleep and get things done.

Also.. it's not *quite* that simple, with losing weight and being fit. As I said, I've had food issues so I've tried it all and researched the fuck out of this stuff. But I'm not going to go into that.

 

[InvisibleJim]

I just wanna sleep and get things done.

Indeed, as I say, your problem is tired mind, active body. Thus balance is important. You aren't an INTJ who can just completely ignore these things y'know

 

[barbad0s]

Indeed, as I say, your problem is tired mind, active body. Thus balance is important. You aren't an INTJ who can just completely ignore these things y'know

What b this balance?? What if my mind and body are both tired, but still are at the wrong times!

Also, what b this INTJ skill? Is that something I can pay for??

 

[InvisibleJim]

What b this balance?? What if my mind and body are both tired, but still are at the wrong times!

Also, what b this INTJ skill? Is that something I can pay for??

No, just ENFPs can't go 'right, 2 months, sitting doing nothing until project is done' which is a very natural INTJ thingy.

In my (vast) past experience ENFPs need balance in life, something I find odd. If you want I can get you in touch with -advanced- ENFPs to help you out.

I know 3 who would be of interest to you, however, 1 is busy atm. Alysaria who you will meet on ENFPforum won't be useful with this.

 

[barbad0s]

No, just ENFPs can't go 'right, 2 months, sitting doing nothing until project is done' which is a very natural INTJ thingy.

In my (vast) past experience ENFPs need balance in life, something I find odd. If you want I can get you in touch with -advanced- ENFPs to help you out.

I know 3 who would be of interest to you, however, 1 is busy atm. Alysaria who you will meet on ENFPforum won't be useful with this.

LOL ok give me some enfps. And I've seen Alysaria on there yes wololo

 

[mochi]

Hey gaiz. I posted this on an ENFP forum that I recently joined, as well as on typologycentral which I've been visiting again lately.

I know you guys might not be able to give much ENxP-specific advice, but I'd like an INFJ perspective as well.

Have you ever considered taking night classes? They are a godsend for those with a strange sleeping pattern/night owls. My friends are doing this and they like it quite a lot. It might be something to consider for next semester. For the time being, I would suggest you sleep later and later until you adjust yourself to a normal sleeping time. Like you feel asleep at 7 am. Next time fall asleep 2 hours later, 9am. Then 11 am. then 1 pm. Until you are back to normal. That or, force yourself to stay awake during one day and fall asleep at a regular time. The second way is can be bit harder though. Taking a bath right before bedtime also helps, as well as eating a big meal.

For stress/Anxiety, there's is a really good book on the subject... It's called the Relaxation and Stress Workbook. I highly recommend it. It's kind of thick, but skimming through a couple of chapters can be helpful. Also, if you ever feel overwhelmed by school, you can always drop a class to free up more time with the other classes. Most importantly, don't forget to have fun.

 

[894tt3h9]

I have oodles of things to say about anxiety. I will be back to post when I am finished doing some work.

 

[CAptain]

The only times in my life I can recall sleeping normally for an extended period of time is when I've been on vacation in other countries (jet lag + time zone difference + pressure to sleep and wake up normally so I can enjoy myself), and then the habit extends for a couple weeks after I return home. Then afterwards I go back to my old ways.

I believe that sometimes to find the solution to our problems we need to go back in time. In your case I think that’s your answer. ^^ You seemed to prioritized having a good time so you did what you needed to do to meet your goal. Maybe you could do the same right now? Prioritize, set and meet those goals no matter how big or small they may seem otherwise things like school work, appointments etc. will stack up and come back to haunt you thus keeping you up when your body needs rest.

“Sometimes our feelings (emotions like fear) prevent us from doing the things that we need to do and consequently we put things off until we feel better about the situation but many times we never do! I believe that we need to plan ahead, try and gently push ourselves to the desired outcome and if we fail? So what…at least we gave it a shot, man.” (It sounds cheesy but bleh )

That’s a bit ^^ of my personal self-talk for when I have obstacles to overcome or important things to do. Maybe that will somehow help you out a bit.

 

[barbad0s]

I believe that sometimes to find the solution to our problems we need to go back in time. In your case I think that’s your answer. ^^ You seemed to prioritized having a good time so you did what you needed to do to meet your goal. Maybe you could do the same right now? Prioritize, set and meet those goals no matter how big or small they may seem otherwise things like school work, appointments etc. will stack up and come back to haunt you thus keeping you up when your body needs rest.

“Sometimes our feelings (emotions like fear) prevent us from doing the things that we need to do and consequently we put things off until we feel better about the situation but many times we never do! I believe that we need to plan ahead, try and gently push ourselves to the desired outcome and if we fail? So what…at least we gave it a shot, man.” (It sounds cheesy but bleh )

That’s a bit ^^ of my personal self-talk for when I have obstacles to overcome or important things to do. Maybe that will somehow help you out a bit.

Thanks for this. I think what you pointed out about me prioritizing having a good time was a really important thing that I shouldn't ignore. Actually, today coming back from the doctor's office I realized that I perform best when I continually challenge myself with small novel goals/activities, so that I'm kept in the habit. If I stay at home all day, of course I'm going to get more nervous about going out and completing a task the next time I have to, than if I'd been going out and challenging myself with something new every day. In fact, I used to do that all the time before my depression. I would just push myself out of my comfort zone every day and venture into the unknown, and that was one of the things that kept my life satisfying to me.

@mochi I was taking a weekly night class before, but I dropped it (at the time I would do my sleeping in the afternoon to mid-evening and so it was worse than my morning classes xD). Before that, I was a full time student. This week I'm dropping another course, cutting my course load in half from the beginning of the term (huge waste of money, I know, but it's for my health). I'm going to look for that book at my library, thanks for the recommendation for that as well as your other suggestions!

 

[mochi]

@mochi I was taking a weekly night class before, but I dropped it (at the time I would do my sleeping in the afternoon to mid-evening and so it was worse than my morning classes xD). Before that, I was a full time student. This week I'm dropping another course, cutting my course load in half from the beginning of the term (huge waste of money, I know, but it's for my health). I'm going to look for that book at my library, thanks for the recommendation for that as well as your other suggestions!

Oh I see, lol. :3 I'm glad you have a better schedule now. You are definitely right, it's important to do what's best for your health.^.^ In that way it can be looked at as a way of actually saving money. I dropped a class in college too, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made--I would have had so much stress I wouldn't have been able to finish the others had it not been for that. I retook it the next year and did good, so it will all work out in the end.

 

[subwayrider]

[video=youtube;ewRdf9GWuSo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewRdf9GWuSo[/video]

 

[subwayrider]

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