I'm sure most people have experienced the high of a new relationship, and the low of being alone. I'm also sure most have probably experienced these feelings many times, until they form a cyclical pattern. I would like to present a similar scenario for discussion. The Scenario: Let's say I've just been dumped. This, of course, is depressing, but my mood eventually brightens. I become better at being alone, and become more self-confident, self-reliant, and happy. Eventually I become lonely, but remain confident and happy by myself. This loneliness grows slowly over time, until I'm utterly miserable. This misery makes it nearly impossible for me to focus on anything or function in day to day life. So, I'm driven to find and start a new relationship. I'm over-joyed that my misery is at its end, and I put all the effort I can into this new relationship. In fact, I put so much of my energy into the relationship, it makes it nearly impossible for me to focus on anything or function in day to day life, so it doesn't work out in the end. And the cycle goes on... A few random notes: *Starting a relationship on the premise of "just not wanting to be alone anymore" seems like a horrible foundation for a relationship to me. I certainly wouldn't want to enter into a relationship feeling like I was just using someone purely as an emotional crutch for my own needs. Generally this isn't the case and I genuinely care about the person, and the relationship seems mutually beneficial. *I'm the type of person who "gives my all" in a relationship anyway, not just out of fear of being lonely again. I have no problem "committing" myself to someone and I feel that anything but seriously investing yourself in a relationship defeats the entire point of being with someone. All things considered, I'm not worried about my motivations when it comes to entering into a new relationship as much as I am concerned about the extreme and self-destructive nature of my loneliness on the one hand, and the over-investment in relationships that I tend to exibit on the other. This seems like a real "catch 22" sort of situation, and I'm curious if anyone has had similar experiences or has any advice to offer. Thanks.