10 Ways Introverts Interact Differently With The World | INFJ Forum

10 Ways Introverts Interact Differently With The World

Dave Fallon

Dave Fallon

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Jul 4, 2014
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This is an interesting article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/07/physical-behavior-of-introverts_n_6069438.html?cps=gravity

I don't know if I agree with the caffeine thing as I drink a lot of coffee at work, though it may be that I have drunk so much for so long that coffee merely brings me to normal state where I'd be asleep without it. Still, there are many times in meetings that I feel out of control of the topic and unable to hold my own end of the discussion. Maybe that is because I'm over caffeinated...? Or more likely it is a dynamic between a meeting's topic being stressful and too much caffeine.

Of the other 10 things it mentions, though, they seem spot on with my experience. Even surprising things like "They succeed on stage -- just not in the chit-chat afterwards." That could explain more of the "Is Jon Stewart an INFJ" thread from a few weeks ago. Also: "When surrounded by people, they locate themselves close to an exit." I've noticed that before when at family gatherings, if there isn't a seat near the exit I often choose to stand, rather than find a seat further in wherever we are. I think that is true of many things but I don't always notice them. Finally: "They physically can't stand talking on the phone." I have to laugh at that because my wife will call me on her way home from work and start going over every detail of her day and all I can think is, "You're going to be home in 15 minutes, can't you just wait to tell me all this until you're here?"
 
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If you're looking to destroy an introverted person's attention span, just put them in a situation where they feel overstimulated. Due to increased sensitivity to their surroundings, introverts struggle with feeling distracted and sometimes overwhelmed in large crowds and open office spaces.
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Yep, although the world doesn't care if you have a different orientation to social situations, it has a personal impact. You are more likely to be affected by social stimulation, and sometimes more easily overwhelmed by it. I am not a fan of crowds or attention from large groups. However, this doesn't mean I don't enjoy engaging listeners in interesting topics. I love managing discussions, and enjoy hearing different perspectives and getting people to share their feelings or opinions. So, I may engage socially for a specific purpose, and feel comfortable as long as the attention or focus is not on me, the person. I'd rather attention be on an issue or topic, rather than myself. I think that's the difference. Extraverts tend to feel more comfortable talking about themselves, while introverts tend to be more private. I'm more likely to ask others questions about themselves than share details about myself. That's another difference I've noticed. That's probably why we get the "listener" label.


Introverts naturally prefer spending time alone or in a small group, delving deeply into one task at a time and taking their time when it comes to making decisions and solving problems. Therefore, they fare better in work environments that allow them to do all of these things.
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True dat. :D Yeah, I do take my time to make decisions, and I think this especially true with Ne types. You imagine all the possible scenarios you could face before you take the step, which sometimes freak you out and paralyze you, preventing you from making a decision. However, solving problems is benefitted by taking time to think through possible scenarios. Sometimes, I have more ideas or insights when I allow myself the time to think through an issue, and consider it from many perspectives. It can lead to more creative thoughts. However, it's tough to do this in a world where everyone always expects an immediate response or answer to a question or discussion, not realizing that it's tough to do with when mentally you know they're are so many things to consider before you can give a fair or reasonable response. What appears simple to others may be seen as more complicated to you because you're imagining it from various angles.
 
I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm an extrovert or introvert. I'm pretty shy, but I'm usually the one to initiate a conversation.. I'm pretty quiet and like to blend into the background but around people I'm comfortable with I talk a lot.

I hate being in crowded places as well and it bothers me.. I'll just leave and find a much quieter and peaceful place to go.. But even during all of that peace I'll go mad if I don't have at least one person to talk to.. Whether it's in person or text message. That's something I noticed about myself too, I'll get kind of frustrated if I'm not messaging or talking to someone during the day XD.

Perhaps these are Ambivert tendencies?
 
Switchgirl said:
I'm having a hard time determining whether I'm an extrovert or introvert. I'm pretty shy, but I'm usually the one to initiate a conversation.. I'm pretty quiet and like to blend into the background but around people I'm comfortable with I talk a lot.

I hate being in crowded places as well and it bothers me.. I'll just leave and find a much quieter and peaceful place to go.. But even during all of that peace I'll go mad if I don't have at least one person to talk to.. Whether it's in person or text message. That's something I noticed about myself too, I'll get kind of frustrated if I'm not messaging or talking to someone during the day XD.

Perhaps these are Ambivert tendencies?
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Can relate to this a lot.

You may lean more introvert though very social one at that, as crowded places bother you (overstimulation?) and you prefer quiet, peaceful places.
 
This article was another factor in helping me decide if I'm ENTP or INTP. Everything listed I can resonate with.
 
10 ways to butter up our mostly introverted readership.
 
Thanks for sharing this article

I strongly relate to all the points except this one:

They don't take on the mood of their environment like extraverts do.

A 2013 study published in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience found that extraverts and introverts process experiences through the brain's "reward" centers quite differently. While extraverts often sense a feel-good rush of dopamine related to their surroundings, introverts tend to not experience such a shift. In fact, people who are naturally introverted do not process rewards from external factors as strongly as extraverts do.
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The mood of an environment really seems to affect me....anyones mood in my space can effect me....something which can be very unpleasant, or very nice.

Or maybe im misunderstanding this particular point?
 
Interesting article — thx for posting.

I don't drink coffee (don't like the taste) and generally stay away from anything that doesn't give me a natural high. I like to rely on my own energy before a meeting and reward myself at the end. 85% dark chocolate normally does the trick. :)

I don't mind loud, noisy and congested .... loud music + dancing is intoxicating - love it!

Small talk is the bane of my life! Nothing grates me more than polite general chit chat.

I have a meeting this Friday so I'm already mentally preparing myself to be in that extroverted zone. For 3.5hrs I will be carried along and feeling supercharged during the whole process but at the end I will just want to be left alone and switch off.

I prefer face to face over phone. There normally has to be a purpose for me to talking to someone on the phone (particularly when I've already exhausted my allowance of general conversation for the day). I'm not interested in knowing the minuscule details of your day (it's amusing when the other person thinks they are connecting with you) unless there's something new, or you've had a self-actualisation moment or you need to have a rant/support/seek advice etc. My hubby will randomly ring me on my work phone impersonating someone (the times I do fall for his tricks is when I'm intently focused on a piece of work)….for the first few minutes of finding out that it’s him, I go absolutely ballistic but afterwards it's normally followed with fits of giggles!
 
charlene said:
I strongly relate to all the points except this one:

The mood of an environment really seems to affect me....anyones mood in my space can effect me....something which can be very unpleasant, or very nice.

Or maybe im misunderstanding this particular point?
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Hmm... Yeah, I think that one throws me as well. I often find myself intensely involved in someone else's mood, maybe even too much. But I think that for me, at least, that's not a case of the environment, just a case of whomever I am speaking with. I've noticed that as well with characters in a story: I can feel intensely connected with the mood of a character.

I'm trying to think of a scenario where an environment has a mood. Maybe a live performance of a classic, like Les Misérables, where there is a more general mood set by the combined moods of the characters. In that scenario, I guess I can see myself being a little more aloof of the general mood. It's not that I don't understand the mood that is set, but I think I find myself not sharing it as intensely.

Another example may be some of those very dark heroin movies like Trainspotting or Basketball Diaries or Requiem for a Dream. I'm odd that I tend to feel gravitated towards otherwise depressing or dark stories like these, but I don't know if I take on the mood of them, exactly. I remember I saw the movie The Hours in the theater when it came out and loved it, bought the DVD when it was available and then told some of my friends what a good movie it was and that they should watch it with me. After we watched it together, they were aghast and angry with me for "tricking" them to watch something so depressing, and I didn't understand that at all. Maybe that's what this is talking about?
 
Dave Fallon said:
Hmm... Yeah, I think that one throws me as well. I often find myself intensely involved in someone else's mood, maybe even too much. But I think that for me, at least, that's not a case of the environment, just a case of whomever I am speaking with. I've noticed that as well with characters in a story: I can feel intensely connected with the mood of a character.

I'm trying to think of a scenario where an environment has a mood. Maybe a live performance of a classic, like Les Misérables, where there is a more general mood set by the combined moods of the characters. In that scenario, I guess I can see myself being a little more aloof of the general mood. It's not that I don't understand the mood that is set, but I think I find myself not sharing it as intensely.

Another example may be some of those very dark heroin movies like Trainspotting or Basketball Diaries or Requiem for a Dream. I'm odd that I tend to feel gravitated towards otherwise depressing or dark stories like these, but I don't know if I take on the mood of them, exactly. I remember I saw the movie The Hours in the theater when it came out and loved it, bought the DVD when it was available and then told some of my friends what a good movie it was and that they should watch it with me. After we watched it together, they were aghast and angry with me for "tricking" them to watch something so depressing, and I didn't understand that at all. Maybe that's what this is talking about?
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Thanks for you imput
I think i understand exactly what you mean. I often feel more like an observer than part of a social environment, although i can feel intensely affected by the people that im interacting with, or that are around me. However, certain environments- religious and spiritual can feel different and much more involving, also environments like some music concerts and comedy shows.

And it is the same with movies....easy to empathise with the characters....but hard to actually get 'into it'...and not see the actors, script, director, set, and story line. I've never seen a movie that ive been lost in, or got totaly lost in a book for that matter. I almost envy people that can
 
pics said:
However, it's tough to do this in a world where everyone always expects an immediate response or answer to a question or discussion, not realizing that it's tough to do with when mentally you know they're are so many things to consider before you can give a fair or reasonable response. What appears simple to others may be seen as more complicated to you because you're imagining it from various angles.
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i almost freeze when in meetings or courses with people i had only just met and either need to introduce myself or i am forced to provide input due to the nature of the discussion (eg group learning activities). i would rather listen and learn and stay in the background, and only ask questions or provide an answer if i really have to (eg if no one else can answer the question).
 
littlemissmaya said:
and i love coffee... and hate talking on the phone if there are other ways to communicate (text, email, voice, psychic, etc)
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Interesting. I prefer to talk, as it is quicker than texting or email.

As to the article itself, it describes me fairly accurately--especially the "succeeding on stage" aspect. I can teach a roomful of people how to search different databases, and can come up with a dozen examples on-the-fly--but have to stop and consider search strategies when asked a particular question--starting with: "Is the the database I should use to answer your question?"
 
Litterally targeted for us weirdo INFJs. INFPs don't have the same problems. INFPs are like normal people, but they just limit their interactions. We don't. We say hi to everyone. This is why our issues are more pronounced.
 
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