AngelineIsTyping
Newbie
- MBTI
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- Type 4
I often feel like an outsider at school despite having a few friends. But lately I’ve broken it off with two best friends because they are simply no longer the friends I need. Whenever they confide in me, I listen, but when it’s my turn, they dismiss my sorrow as “common” or “pessimistic”. Sometimes we INFJs often try to understand other people but find it hard to let them in—or if we do, they don’t see us. My crush who rejected me a few days ago accused me of “liking the idea of him”, as if I was the shallow type of girl who would only fall in love with a perfect version of somebody. I felt so hurt and heartbroken. I had seen his scars without him having to tell me. He might think he hid himself well but he is a terrible actor—to me, not everybody else.
Mostly I think other people treat us like that because some shallow hearts are not made for depth; they would drown in our ocean waves. It has less to do with us and more to do with them. Maybe it’s a universal thing, to love and not be loved in return. But for us, the scars run deeper.
I went to the graduation ceremony yesterday in a good mood, with my newly painted nails and purple hair, promising myself that I would face them bravely despite the rejection of my crush and the fact that everybody in my class knew. I was chatting with a friend when I turned around in my seat and accidentally caught a glimpse of my ex-crush and suddenly all the emotions swirled around me like a maelstrom and I got this really choked-up feeling inside, like I couldn’t breathe. He looked so good—luminous smile, tousled hair, clean shirt—even though a few days ago he had broken my heart. He gets to walk away unfazed while I am left in pieces—how is this even fair? I ended up leaving the graduation performance early because I was so depressed.
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd? The way the music is blaring around you and people are dancing onstage and the audience is cheering, but you get this hollow feeling in your heart. And get this—you can’t talk to anybody about this, because no one has time to listen. No one attaches importance to your heartbreaks and dismiss it as “lesser” compared to other types of grief. But unrequited love means grieving for the love that could have been. And I’m done explaining myself to all these people who don’t get me. Sometimes I wish the world was just me so I don’t have to live up to expectations and endure the tribulations this universe offers.
Sorry for being pessimistic. I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.
Mostly I think other people treat us like that because some shallow hearts are not made for depth; they would drown in our ocean waves. It has less to do with us and more to do with them. Maybe it’s a universal thing, to love and not be loved in return. But for us, the scars run deeper.
I went to the graduation ceremony yesterday in a good mood, with my newly painted nails and purple hair, promising myself that I would face them bravely despite the rejection of my crush and the fact that everybody in my class knew. I was chatting with a friend when I turned around in my seat and accidentally caught a glimpse of my ex-crush and suddenly all the emotions swirled around me like a maelstrom and I got this really choked-up feeling inside, like I couldn’t breathe. He looked so good—luminous smile, tousled hair, clean shirt—even though a few days ago he had broken my heart. He gets to walk away unfazed while I am left in pieces—how is this even fair? I ended up leaving the graduation performance early because I was so depressed.
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowd? The way the music is blaring around you and people are dancing onstage and the audience is cheering, but you get this hollow feeling in your heart. And get this—you can’t talk to anybody about this, because no one has time to listen. No one attaches importance to your heartbreaks and dismiss it as “lesser” compared to other types of grief. But unrequited love means grieving for the love that could have been. And I’m done explaining myself to all these people who don’t get me. Sometimes I wish the world was just me so I don’t have to live up to expectations and endure the tribulations this universe offers.
Sorry for being pessimistic. I just wish it didn’t have to be this way.