Dealing with nihilism (or broken idealism) as an INFJ | INFJ Forum

Dealing with nihilism (or broken idealism) as an INFJ

Aliyen

Four
Jun 10, 2018
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MBTI
INFJ
I've been in the labor force for a few years now, and can't seem to really find a steady pace anywhere. I've learned that the market basically works in terms of what your employer rather than what you want, and I guess this has given me somewhat of a nihilistic bent in terms of both work and school.

In college, I majored in creative writing, which I guess was mistake #1 in terms of finding practical work anywhere. I dreamed of writing novels, but seeing as I needed to get paid, I took a series of unfulfilling copywriting jobs, which really brought me no further in succeeding at my intended passion. Now I'm 27, and thinking of going back to school for accounting--not for any particular emotional attachment to the field, but because I just want to make money and have secure employment.

From what I read about INFJs, there are a select few who have managed to make their passions align with their career choices, but I'm wondering if that's even possible. When I look at stereotypical INFJ jobs like teaching and counseling, I can't see myself surviving in either field for that long (they're also not that high-paying). Then I see some INFJs actually making it as doctors or psychiatrists, but I'm wondering how interested I would be in either the medical or psychological field to make it that far, honestly (one of the reasons I'm drawn to accounting at the moment is because I only really need about a year of classes in additional to my original bahelor's to get licensed).

In an ideal world, I'd be a novelist or philosopher like Dostoevsky, but I guess either a lack of belief in myself or a good knowledge of the odds of that happening are beating that out of me. My issue is that whenever I have a dream of making something happen, it gets deterred instantly by thoughts like "It's not practical."

Langston Hughes wrote that dreams are worth holding onto, but sometimes when life keeps beating them out of me, I'm wondering why not just join the masses and quit trying to achieve anything great.
 
I say mixing career and idealism is a recipe for failure, I agree. Career ultimately by very definition involves money, and even if you're a writer, or philosopher, getting tenure or having your books read will involve some selling your soul.

So my general advice is to hold onto your idealism because it's right/the world is probably wrong, but to pursue it outside your career. if you can find a healthy balance, that's good too. Some paths are more conducive than others.
 
First of all, I wouldn't give up hope as of yet. Published authors are on bookshelves everywhere, so clearly some writers are wanted.

Second of all, II get that the odds are not in your favor here. Given that, I'd ask myself two questions if I were in your position:

1. What is it that I really want to do with this job? Do I want to discuss ideas in a way that grabs peoples' attention? Do I just want to use my imagination? Thinking about it this way can help you imagine options that you hadn't thought of before because you were stuck on this very specific way of accomplishing your goal.
2. What's the best way to get closest to what I want? It may be that while you can't have your initial job, there may be stuff that's almost as good to better waiting there for you somewhere. If you want to get people to think and get paid for it, maybe try becoming a blogger or youtuber. Maybe get a day job and do your writing on the side as fanfiction if you don't mind splitting your time that way, or if you just want to make shit.

The bottom line is, you're thinking too rigidly about this, I think. Start going past the edges of your vision and you might find something interesting.
 
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What's wrong with nihilism? It's hilarious!
 
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If you want to be successful, you've got to serve others. The higher your pay, the higher the demand for your services.

Man.. it's nice that you want to be a writer but other people want iPhones, gasoline/petrol, cars, and Flat Screen TVs.

You suffer economically when you don't meet other people's demands.

Be an accountant, an engineer, a physician. Wanna be the best writer? Be willing to be poor.
 
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Be an accountant. Wanna be the best writer? Be willing to be poor.

You want everybody to be an accountant!

Wanna be the best writer? Be willing to be poor.

This is actually - unfortunately - very true. Any aspiring writer who is willing to go the distance to leave a trace and wasn't born in an affluent family will have to make some sacrifices.
 
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You want everybody to be an accountant!



This is actually - unfortunately - very true. Any aspiring writer who is willing to go the distance to leave a trace and wasn't born in an affluent family will have to make some sacrifices.
Accounting is fine, but mostly anything in the STEM ballpark.
 
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I've been in the labor force for a few years now, and can't seem to really find a steady pace anywhere. I've learned that the market basically works in terms of what your employer rather than what you want, and I guess this has given me somewhat of a nihilistic bent in terms of both work and school.

In college, I majored in creative writing, which I guess was mistake #1 in terms of finding practical work anywhere. I dreamed of writing novels, but seeing as I needed to get paid, I took a series of unfulfilling copywriting jobs, which really brought me no further in succeeding at my intended passion. Now I'm 27, and thinking of going back to school for accounting--not for any particular emotional attachment to the field, but because I just want to make money and have secure employment.

From what I read about INFJs, there are a select few who have managed to make their passions align with their career choices, but I'm wondering if that's even possible. When I look at stereotypical INFJ jobs like teaching and counseling, I can't see myself surviving in either field for that long (they're also not that high-paying). Then I see some INFJs actually making it as doctors or psychiatrists, but I'm wondering how interested I would be in either the medical or psychological field to make it that far, honestly (one of the reasons I'm drawn to accounting at the moment is because I only really need about a year of classes in additional to my original bahelor's to get licensed).

In an ideal world, I'd be a novelist or philosopher like Dostoevsky, but I guess either a lack of belief in myself or a good knowledge of the odds of that happening are beating that out of me. My issue is that whenever I have a dream of making something happen, it gets deterred instantly by thoughts like "It's not practical."

Langston Hughes wrote that dreams are worth holding onto, but sometimes when life keeps beating them out of me, I'm wondering why not just join the masses and quit trying to achieve anything great.

My brother is not an INFJ but writing is one of his passions. He thought it would be awesome to work for a while, save up a nest egg, and take time off between jobs to write. It wasn't practical though. What he did was to push himself to carve out time to write here and there in his time off. He did finish his book but it definitely wasn't overnight, and though it is a passion of his, it still took a lot of dedication and he is by no means a famous author. My only suggestion is to make sure to exercise that creative muscle wherever you are at in life, even if your day job sucks.
 
Remember: the more you give, the more you get. Idealism can be mannifested through other means than art, by serving others.

I've been there and done that. Doing something that paid me and telling myself that it served others in other ways too. It didn't work for me and I was drained badly everyday. I think INFJs need a job that they can directly see the results of their service. For example, teaching or coaching and seeing how each individual changes by their guidance. Creating arts and seeing how the people are touched and inspired by their works. Becoming an entrepreneur and seeing their team or their projects flourished, etc. I guess it's the Fe that needs direct and immediate results, particularly in moralistic and humanistic aspects of their works. That's why it's hard to be FJs and in my opinion if becoming homemaker is not your ideal choice. Nothing is harder than influencing people to change for the better. TJs probably feel the similar way, but their focus can turn away from humanistic aspect completely and serve in other ways, by producing tools and systems to help people, albeit indirectly, for instance. That is why I think INFJs need to pave their own way, find their own niche and do a lot of alchemy when it comes to career choice, lol.
 
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I've been there and done that. Doing something that paid me and telling myself that it served others in other ways too. It didn't work for me and I was drained badly everyday. I think INFJs need a job that they can directly see the results of their service.
I enjoy having that option as well. My concern is that the job one chooses can also fund life's practical necessities.

For example, teaching or coaching and seeing how each individual changes by their guidance. Creating arts and seeing how the people are touched and inspired by their works. Becoming an entrepreneur and seeing their team or their projects flourished, etc. I guess it's the Fe that needs direct and immediate results, particularly in moralistic and humanistic aspects of their works.
I prefer that people choose more stable professions. That way we'll all be able to weather economic storms.

That's why it's hard to be FJs and in my opinion if becoming homemaker is not your ideal choice. Nothing is harder than influencing people to change for the better. TJs probably feel the similar way, but their focus can turn away from humanistic aspect completely and serve in other ways, by producing tools and systems to help people, albeit indirectly, for instance.
I suppose that rings true for me.
That is why I think INFJs need to pave their own way, find their own niche and do a lot of alchemy when it comes to career choice, lol.
If Myers Briggs isn't bunk, I believe you're right.
 
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in any job you'll have to compete, even in writing, you cannot skip that part unless you are a endangered specie
you have things like amazon, self publish, self marketing, you can do tons of shit with internet, patreon? ask people to do collaborations with you, etc
besides that, i've met several accountants and have worked before as one, believe me you don't want that life
don't stop sending cvs because someone else will
 
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If I didn't have needs myself I would be happy to see the whole system crash and burn like it should have in the wake of 2008.

 
I've been in the labor force for a few years now, and can't seem to really find a steady pace anywhere. I've learned that the market basically works in terms of what your employer rather than what you want, and I guess this has given me somewhat of a nihilistic bent in terms of both work and school.

In college, I majored in creative writing, which I guess was mistake #1 in terms of finding practical work anywhere. I dreamed of writing novels, but seeing as I needed to get paid, I took a series of unfulfilling copywriting jobs, which really brought me no further in succeeding at my intended passion. Now I'm 27, and thinking of going back to school for accounting--not for any particular emotional attachment to the field, but because I just want to make money and have secure employment.

From what I read about INFJs, there are a select few who have managed to make their passions align with their career choices, but I'm wondering if that's even possible. When I look at stereotypical INFJ jobs like teaching and counseling, I can't see myself surviving in either field for that long (they're also not that high-paying). Then I see some INFJs actually making it as doctors or psychiatrists, but I'm wondering how interested I would be in either the medical or psychological field to make it that far, honestly (one of the reasons I'm drawn to accounting at the moment is because I only really need about a year of classes in additional to my original bahelor's to get licensed).

In an ideal world, I'd be a novelist or philosopher like Dostoevsky, but I guess either a lack of belief in myself or a good knowledge of the odds of that happening are beating that out of me. My issue is that whenever I have a dream of making something happen, it gets deterred instantly by thoughts like "It's not practical."

Langston Hughes wrote that dreams are worth holding onto, but sometimes when life keeps beating them out of me, I'm wondering why not just join the masses and quit trying to achieve anything great.

I would pick a job that was all practical and would help me with what I might need in the future.... For example if I thought I was going to need food I would become a botanist or farmer to learn how to grow my own garden. If I wanted to build a house carpenter.... Trade jobs are in.... Writ as a hobby until you make it.

Then think outside the box... Like buying cryptos before they get big, big chances = high risk/high reward. You'll never be free of a desk once your chained to it, unless you stop following the trends everyone else is following... Take the path less travelled, when seeking your fortune... You know a lot of people went the other way and already found it. Once your set for life, you can do whatever you want.

The rules in life are rarely fair and don't always work the way the should... Let your morals adjust them accordingly. Fortune favours the bold, but be prepared to reap the consequences of your actions.

You will have bad days, but even bad experiences are still learning experiences.

You learn more from your failures then from your successes.

Paranoia is not just a survival trait... It's a good idea.

Lastly, but most important, if you are happy, you will attract happiness, if you find something is making you unhappy... Release your death grip on it... And let it go.