INFJ Male + INFJ Female dating

Maybe this is more like infp + infp...

Happy Phantom said:

I've read on other forums that this combination can be very satisfying romantically.

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For those of us who fancy ince... Yeah, a satisfying pair!

What about INTP + INFJ?

Fidicen said:

I can see how INFJ+INFJ has the potential for great understanding and deep connection, but it can also be a recipe for disaster. Two people who have similar weaknesses and insecurities might understand each other well, but they can also end up making those aspects worse, or get stuck in mutual suspicions without finding a way out. Based on this I'm guessing that a young identical pair might end up in a volatile relationship, but once people have an understanding of the issues they have, it could be truly wonderful. I don't mean the issues need to have been solved, but at least the two need to understand what they are to be able to help each other.

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I can definitely recognize aspects (both good and bad) of my last relationship in your words. She was INFJ.

ruji said:

What about INTP + INFJ?

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I've only ever met one certified female INTP and she wasn't single. I'm still waiting for that hopeful day.

Ren said:

female INTP

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:thinkinghard:

ruji said:

What about INTP + INFJ?

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Oh man, my first relationship was an INTP, and it was awesome. Relationship ended due to different paths and personal demons that my ex had to deal with. He is a wonderful person nonetheless and I hope he is doing well.

My second one (my ex-fiancé) was an ESFP and boy, I dodged a missile on that one.

I still yet have to meet an INFJ though. Maybe one day!

JennyDaniella said:

My second one (my ex-fiancé) was an ESFP and boy, I dodged a missile on that one.

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ruji said:

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Hahaha yes! 10x this!

Happy Phantom said:

Yes! A very good match. I can’t think of any other type I could tolerate. I briefly dated an ENFP who irritated the life out of me. INTP and INFJ can work very well as long as they can communicate.

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Agreed!

Happy Phantom said:

They can be asses, especially when younger so the INFJ can’t be too sensitive. They usually have a great sense of humor and if the INFJ is a jokester even better! We can be lazy together and give zero fucks. They’re laid back which is great. So much to be learned from each other and lots and lots of fun!

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Yes exactly! . My ex had an AMAZING sense of humor. He always made me laugh.

I always find a guy with a great sense of humor so appealing. :smilehearts:

I'm an INFJ woman in a relationship with an INFJ man... At least, that's what he says, but he's so friendly and socially outgoing at times that I'm not entirely sure. He says the same about me, as well. So, we're going to take the test over again when were together. Lol. Other than my boyfriend I have two male friends that are INFJ and they are married to/the surrogate second husband to my ISTJ best friend.
So, when we all get together and drink, it's pretty funny and also very chill.
My circle of friends all love and ship me and Jon together and honestly, he's the best relationship I've ever been in. He's 10 years younger than me, but he had a rough life where he always had to be the grown up and take care of his disabled mother, so he matured faster. I had an enabling mother that sort of stunted my maturity a bit until I had my own child... So he and I are right about the same place.
I like taking care of him, which I call being domestic. I love cooking for him and he LOVES the way I cook. I wash his clothes, but he cleans my bathroom and kitchen. We share in the duties of tending to my 7 year old daughter. She's on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum and can be difficult, so when I find myself on the verge of collapse with her, he picks up where I can't and he handles it. We work as a team in everything. Even sexually. We can be serious together and we laugh together. We are open and honest about everything and we talk through everything.
I trust him completely. I have from the day I met him. He effortlessly walked through every defensive wall I had up. We fell in love with each other fast. We are just in awe of each other sometimes, that there is someone else who just gets us.
I just feel really ready to be in this relationship and I'm pretty certain that if this doesn't work out that I'm done with relationships. I was done with them for the past few years, but he came out of nowhere and somehow changed that.
I agree that if two INFJ's are in the same place developmentally, it can be bliss. Because I have a female friend that is INFJ and she and I have just wordlessly drifted apart because we are absolutely at different levels of growth. I recognize it. I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. Some INFJ pairings are like a beautiful symphony and some are like feedback on a loudspeaker. Luckily, so far, me and my guy are the symphony.

Scientia said:

It sounds like a horrible old movie. A silent black and white film where all of the emotions are on their faces but no one speaks and an old lady is furiously playing a piano in the corner behind a curtain.

Sorry, I am a bit cynical these days. Haha.

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I was actually laughing at this, 3:00am sitting at my pc alone in my room. If anyone's awake they must think "he's finally completely lost it". Haha.

Does the old lady represent the passive-aggressiveness?

Hoodie said:

I wouldn't know, I've never met an INFJ male except on here (that I'm aware of) and I certainly haven't been in a relationship with one. Though something tells me if there was an INFJ couple no one would ever see them.

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I'm beginning to realise how rare male INFJs are, although I'm cursed/blessed with being one myself haha.

I'm 32 and have only ever met one in my life. It was recently at my brother's graduation party in our garden. It was a friend of his (10 years younger than me) and we ended up completely zoning out from everyone in the garden and talked for over 2 hours non-stop. Everyone kept looking at us wondering if we had met already haha. It was one of the most deepest most intimate and fulfilling conversations I have had in my life.

Then he went home and we never spoke again.

Ninae said:

I have. I even dated him for a while. Honestly, I loved every minute that we were together. It felt like coming home to me. But he's a lot more introverted than I am, and just wasn't there... ever. People were anything but a priority to him and dating was a sore spot he wasn't ready to deal with.

When we broke it off we tried to be friends, but I couldn't keep it up without some real distance to heal from the feelings I had for him. I'm still working on that. I gave him a door close rather than a door slam, because I was hurting both of us and needed to not be able to talk to him (yay overpowering emotion!)

INFJ men seem to be even less emotionally forthcoming than we women are, but when they allow themselves to be affectionate, it's wonderful. they know intuitively what you'll respond to and what will make you feel loved, half because it's the same thing as they want and need.

This one is very (pardon my extreme nerdiness) Gryffindor. He's a perfect gentleman and would never intentionally hurt anyone, but has an incredible fire to protect the people he cares about.

On the downside, I found him nearly impossible to read. He knew all the tricks and had all the walls up. He'd been hurt before, so he was very wary. I don't think I was what he needed to help him heal from that. And if I was, he wasn't ready to heal.

Hope that helped a bit!

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I'm sorry to hear that Ninae.

I remember when I was younger, I knew I was more emotional/sensitive than other boys. So I would act almost apathetic at times to balance this. There was a period of time in my life where I couldn't cry and I'm sure this had something to do with it.

But as I grew older and became more comfortable with who I was and realised I wanted to live a more authentic life for myself, rather than for others, I embraced my emotional side and it's been beautifully painful.

I've had my trust and heart broken but I always fear that if I put my walls up, it'll turn me into a emotionless robot of some sort. Yes I do retreat to recharge and so on, but I always get back into the world with love.

I would like to see a real life INFJ couple, though rare.

I wonder if there was ever a famous or notable INFJ couple. Time to Google.